AW: It's's's a........................ — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

AW: It's's's a........................

edited February 2014 in LGBT Parenting
GIRL! :) Which we kinda knew anyhow in our guts, but super happy to know for real!

Now, unfortunately we did not get a "baby is perfect" call - however, if she wasn't 'perfect' this was one of the better genetic problems to have. The Harmony test showed she is XXX (or trisomy X). Please don't let your heart sink too far before you read on - this isn't the worst thing by any means. My first question was "oh no is this Turner's??" and she said "Oh no no no - this is WAY less severe." I took a deep breath. Phew.

The nutshell is XXX is usually undiagnosed and no one is ever the wiser. However, being that we are diagnosed is good news - in my afternoon of reading, I learned that girls whose parents know this early are able to take some measure to help them conquer the symptoms. Primarily those symptoms are some delays in speech and learning but usually still within normal ranges. They tend to grow fast until puberty (long legs) and then even out. They take a little longer to potty train, and can be shy - but still are chatty (poor J, that makes two of us in the house). There is a long list of possibilities, but the vast majority of the 'concerning' traits are in girls who were not diagnosed and struggle with frustration of learning issues or behavioral struggles without additional help. That won't be us. Since we know, we'll be all over it if she needs any sort of professional help.

We are meeting with a genetic counselor on Monday to get more information, however I will not risk her life doing an Amnio or CVS because this is not a pregnancy we would ever consider terminating. The counselor told me they can take a sample of her cord blood at birth for formal karyotyping and diagnosis, which is a no-risk way of dealing with it. The test is 99.9% accurate, so we are proceeding as if it is accurate. I found this great (albeit long) brochure on a website the counselor recommended - if you are interested you can read about it here. Some of it reads a little scary, but nothing terrified me.

I won't lie. We clearly wanted the 'perfect' report - but we didn't get it - and with that, we are both ok with what we learned today and plan to love the holy s.hit out of our baby girl. We will tell close family about the XXX, but not broadcast it, and of course will ensure her teachers know and look for signs of "help needed" and get her that help ASAP as she grows up. We feel totally equipped emotionally and financially to handle this and in a way, feel lucky she landed with us as we have the means and intention of doing everything possible to make her life great!

Thanks for reading our big update. Please don't feel bad - I mean, I know I feel a little bad and I'd feel bad reading this about any of you - but know that we are just so happy it's not something unmanageable, or severe, in terms of leading a normal life. We're just relieved overall, and still praying that this little girl is born full-term and safe!

Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

It's been a long road to here...
Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
June'12 - First RE Visit
Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
Loss due to umbilical cord was perfect. :(
Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


HollynLeana[Deleted User]kristi&pjocie626[Deleted User]shelly2314

Re: AW: It's's's a........................

  • She is a very lucky little girl to have you! Congratulations to you and J -- you are already amazing parents. I can't wait to "meet" this wonderful little person you are growing when she arrives full-term and safe! :)

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!


         *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581


    *********William George born June 4, 2014*********

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  • You and J are already amazing mamaz. I have no doubt you are going to be the most perfect parents for this little girl. So happy for you all!
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  • Congrats J & J on being wonderful parents to be of a wonderful, and extremely cherished daughter. She is a celebrated little one already, and I look forward to "meeting" her.
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  


    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.


  • Congrats on having a girl! You are obviously an awesome mom already, and your little one is going to be so lucky to have you.

    Me: 28 DW: 28

    Together since 5/30/02. Married since 8/31/08

    IUI#1 - 12/13/13 = BFN

    IUI#2 - 1/22/14 = BFN

    IUI#3 - 2/21/14 = BFN

    IUI#4 - 3/23/14

  • I feel like your positive outlook on this news is beyond inspirational! You are both strong and wonderful! Congrats on a lovely baby girl! What a lucky baby!

    Me-33 DW-29
    together since 2009
    Married since 6/14/13 
    1st IUI (clomid+ovidrel) 10/14/13... BFP 10/26/13...                                                         
    EDD 7/1/14 ...MMC 11/22/13...D&C 11/25/13
    2nd IUI (clomid+ovidrel) 1/15/14...BFN 
    3rd IUI (unmedicated) 2/12/14...BFN
    4th IUI (clomid + ovidrel) 3/10/14...BFN
    home ICI (unmedicated) 4/4/14...BFN
    home ICI (unmedicated) 5/2 & 5/3...BFN
    5th & 6th IUI (clomid + ovidrel) 5/28 & 5/29...BFN
    7th & 8th IUI (follistim & ovidrel) 6/24 & 6/25....BFN
    **all are welcome**

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic  image Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic 

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  • Congrats...and you are right, knowledge is power. She is lucky that you are able to provide help for her!


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    Married to M and proud mothers to Olivia and Elise (8/19/2014) and to our fur-babies: Capone (pitbull), Jax and Atticus (cats)

  • Congratulations!  I totally squealed when reading your post.  Yay for a little girl!  She is going to be absolutely perfect for you and your wife.
    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K

  • Congratulations!  Your post has so much compassion in it.  It is very obvious that your daughter will be well cared for in every way possible.  She couldn't be luckier than to have you both as her parents. 

    Me: 30  DW (aka C): 29

    Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12

    ***CP mentioned***

    We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm.  8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy.  We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET.  I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013. 

    11/14/14 -  Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good. 

    12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2

    12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)

    1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2

     ****All Welcome!****

    We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.


  • Yaaay for girls! Congrats!!
    Me: 31, Wife: 32 (met when we were 15)
    Married to my beautiful wife/baby mama on 07/07/07
    My brother is our KD
    5/2012: 5 cycles of at-home tries - BFN
    1/2013: 4 medicated IUIs - BFN
    6/2013: 1 IVF - BFP w/twin girls! Born 2/27/14!

  • Congratulations on your baby girl!!! I have to echo what pp have said and you two are already such wonderful caring mothers, I have no doubt she will have a fantastic life with you two by her side
    My name is A, I am wife to J.  After 7 months of ttc and one MC, we are expecting two baby girls in 2014!

  • I'm so glad you're happy! You and J deserve so much happiness.
    ****loss discussed*****

    We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.

    Our IUIs
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 

    ***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***

    FET #1 December 2014
    Intralipid infusion on Dec 10. Transfer of 1 day 3 nine-cell embryo into my uterus on Dec. 19. (acupuncture immediately before and after)
    BFP on Dec. 27; Beta 1 Jan 2 (14dp3dt): 665, Beta 2 Jan 4 (16dp3dt): 1859, Beta 3 Jan 6 (18dp3dt): 4449, Beta 4 Jan 10 (22dp3dt): 12,251.

      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I'd like to bundle what everyone else has said and add a huge congratulatory hug for you & J!! I'm sure getting to know a little more about your baby girl (woohoooo for a girl!!!!) makes this so much more real and exciting. I can't wait to meet her when she's born healthy at full term :-). You & J are truly 2 great mamas.

  • You and J will be amazing! This child is so lucky to have you guys and you will be amazing for this child no matter what happens! Your courage and strength amazes me as always. Lots of love!

    Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
    First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013, Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013, Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013, Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013, Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013

    C began IUI's
    7/23/2013 C's first IUI BFN, 8/21/2013 C's second IUI BFN , Took a break in September and October, 11/05/2013 C's 3rd IUI (TWW...we meet again...) BFN, Took off the month to switch to an RE. 01/01/2014 C's 4th IUI...BFP!!!!!!!! Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140....  6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014

    03/21/2014 IUI #10...BFP!!! Beta #1- 48, Beta #2- 416, Beta #3- 1018. GROW BABY GROW!!!

    1st Ultrasound 4/22/2014 Baby Squints is PERFECT! Measuring at 6w2d with a heartbeat of 129. EDD: 12/12/14.

    Ultrasound at 18 weeks on 7/14/2014. Baby is healthy and growing just as she should!


    Check out my blog at:




  • Congrats on the little girl :) we opted not to test for anything the doctor asked us on our first appt and I looked at her and said NO because it didnt matter to me I would not terminate.Either way you guys have a beautiful little girl on the way and they are sooooooooo much fun to shop for.Congrats again and may the rest of your pregnancy be blessed.
  • Wow. I am so happy for you and your wife, but truly, I am so happy for your daughter! She is the luckiest kid on the planet and I have no doubt in my mind that the two of you will raise her to be the most confident and amazing little girl out there. 


    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying

  • Awh, congrats! A little girl.
    Same sex couple, Married 8/6/11
    Baby Oliver born 11/27/13

    TTC stats with donor sperm...
    IUI #1 with trigger, 1/4/13 - BFN
    IUI #2 with trigger, 2/1/13 BFN
    IUI #3 with tigger, 2/28/12 BFP EDD 11/21/13
  • Congrats!!!!

    Married in September 2010, started TTC journey November 2012


    7 IUI- 2 CP- 2 BFN

    RPL blood work 12/27, showed a balance translocation in chromosome 11;22  


    PCOS 4 IUI-4 BFN

    New Plan: Reciprocal IVF, me as carrier wife's eggs. Just went through insurance and received partial approval, so my part will go through my IVF benefits and wife's part will be out of pocket. Now just finalizing finance plans to cover the oop costs. Doctors office is in process of moving to a new building so there are no IVF start ups until March/April 2015. 





  • You two are just so awesome.  I can't wait to follow your parenting journey once your little sweetie comes home.

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!



  • I'm late to the party, but congrats!!!! She's lucky to have such awesome parents. 

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