PAL Check In

Mrs Nice

Welcome to PAL Checkin! This CheckIn is for everyone who is parenting after a loss. If you have an older child or a rainbow baby or both you are welcome to share here.

I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!

Where are you in your PAL journey?

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?

QOTW: How has your rainbow or older child impacted your relationship with your angel baby in a positive way?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

MCH77

Today is 3w since my D&E. I don't know if I'd be functioning without my 2 1/2 year old. I try to keep the sadness away from him. He makes me laugh/smile.

I feel like everyone has already forgotten my son. That I should be over this already (no one has said that to me, just my take). I'm not over it. I want to cry/scream. I'm tired of being strong/functioning. I'm tired of being tired.

OSUWifey09

Where are you in your PAL journey? Our rainbow is a month old, and next week makes 18 months since we lost Devon. So hard to believe.

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? I'm still struggling a little bit with how I get to do all of these things with Mia, get to watch her grow, and I didn't get to do those things with Devon. It's gotten better, but I still have some moments when I rock Mia and just cry my eyes out.

QOTW: How has your rainbow or older child impacted your relationship with your angel baby in a positive way? Mia and JJ really make me appreciate the memories I have with Devon and really help me keep Devon's memory alive. I want them to know about their brother, want them to know that he's a part of our family and always will be...so I remember the positive memories I have with Devon so that I can one day share them with his brother and sister.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm surprised at how easy recovery has been from having our rainbow, how I'm mentally doing better than I thought I would be. I had set aside some counseling sessions [i get a certain amount for free through the military], anticipating I would need them after Mia was born...but I don't feel like I need them. I hope that trend continues and that I'm not jinxing myself.

stefuge

@OSUWifey09 - I've been thinking about you and Mia - glad to hear things are going well!

jbranden12

Where are you in your PAL journey? Anna is 13 months, almost 10 adjusted. Patricia should be 2 next month. 

What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? I noticed that I struggle every time I say something to Anna like "you are the most beautiful baby." I cringe and feel the need to correct myself by saying "you are the most beautiful baby on EARTH" so Patricia is not left out, wherever she is. Just one of those weird PAL things. 

QOTW: How has your rainbow or older child impacted your relationship with your angel baby in a positive way? I don't really know. Maybe in that I talk about Patricia to Anna in, not a happy way, but not a painful grieving way. I talk about her often without crying. 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Worried about Anna, as per usual. Have my annual with obgyn on Wednesday. I would like to talk about what we should do before we start ttc again, as I think we'd like to start over the summer.