Hapa Babies in the House?

b48kate

Shortly after my husband an I became engaged we went on a sales trip to Hawaii and it seemed everyone on the island was thrilled at the prospect that we would have babies someday.  We were told that "Hapa babies are the most beautiful!"** by several people living on the islands.  

I had actually never heard that term, but my husband (who is Korean) knew exactly what they meant. Basically, they meant half-asian/half-white (although it originally meant half-Hawaiian/half something else). 

In the last few years it seems there has been a movement for people to really own their mixed identity. The term "hapa" has expanded to include people of any mixed ethnicity (people who have to check the "other" box on surveys that ask for race/ethnicity data).

So, my question….do we have many hapa babies on the way?  How do you plan to preserve or enhance your child's understanding of their mixed ethnic identity?    

* BTW: I am not oblivious to the fact that sometimes when my Asian friends and relatives have said this to me it is kind of code for "Looking forward to seeing your round-eyed, light skinned Asian baby", which creeps me out, and reinforces some pretty terrible Asian aesthetic biases.  Likewise, if anyone calls my baby "exotic" looking I will freak out…hand to God!

otter1103

I'm a hapa baby (Caucasian & Thai) my baby will be a mix now so not exactly hapa. Thai & Canadian but only 25% each. Our nicknames from friends and family are The Canadian (Hubs) & The Asian. So LO has been affectionately dubbed The CanAsian. With a full Canadian Nana and a full Thai Gram, this baby will grow up knowing heritage/culture/food of both worlds.

b48kate

otter1103 said:

I'm a hapa baby (Caucasian & Thai) my baby will be a mix now so not exactly hapa. Thai & Canadian but only 25% each. Our nicknames from friends and family are The Canadian (Hubs) & The Asian. So LO has been affectionately dubbed The CanAsian. With a full Canadian Nana and a full Thai Gram, this baby will grow up knowing heritage/culture/food of both worlds.

CanAsian is hilarious!!

b48kate

CAMag said:

So wait, what? Does this apply to mixes with one Asian parent or all mixes period? <--comprehension issues today. My SO is beautifully black and I'm white. He's American and I'm Canadian. Are we having a Blamericaucadian?

I consider the term open to all mixed kids!  Blamericaucadian is surprisingly easy to say!

elsa1688

I am Italian and Mexican, my boyfriend is Cuban and white (both 50/50). We are planning on including the Cuban and Italian cultures because they are a huge part of our daily lives (my dad owns an Italian restaurant, BF owns a Cuban restaurant, speaking the languages, Eric). My bf often is mistaken for Italian and no one can ever quite place him. I tease my bf though that he looks "vaguely ethnic" and so will our baby. It drives him nuts, which I kind of love.

temursgirl

I'm American... a mixture of various whites, but primarily Scandinavian (not that you would think so from looking) and DH is from India.  We live in an area with a sizable South Asian population (actually all types of Asians), although it is not common at all to see Indian-white couples.  I feel like a combination of me and DH almost has to come out looking Indian and a lot of my features kind of could be anyway.  I'm actually really excited to see what LO looks like!

I'm also excited for her that she gets to have two cultures.  I think it will make her life so rich and interesting.  Since we go to India all the time and know lots of Indians here I think she will naturally know a lot about the culture.  I already go to a lot of trouble to have our home and social life be a good cultural balance, i.e. hanging out with friends of all different ethnicities, eating different cuisines (although when I'm not pregnant we do eat more Indian food), and doing an array of cultural activities.  I hope this will convey to LO all the positives of having two cultures.

temursgirl

@Internationalkate - I get what you mean about the racist aesthetics.  We have that a little from both sides.  My aunt is looking forward to "an exotic beauty" and ILs place abnormal importance on my complexion and body type.  I'm pretty sure some management will be needed over the years so LO doesn't develop issues.

Neuron79

Yes, we are a gay couple! My wife is korean and we chose a caucasian donor. Expecting our hapa little girl the end of June!

bebemac

We're having a hapa baby - H is from Mexico and I'm Caucasian. My biggest fear is not balancing the exposure to the two languages and cultures as I much prefer those of H to my own.

Interesting tidbit on the term "hapa" - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hapa.

Valie18

I'm not a hapa. Both DH and I are translucent-white.

But... I do have a bunch of friends who are mixed. Mostly Chinese and Caucasian.

After reading this thread I mostly just need to share my excitement that two of my close friends were married in October, she is Indian and he is Chinese and Lithuanian, and are discussing reproducing. I am mostly excited that there will be another family at get-togethers and also because I want to see the first Indi-thua-nese baby.

celticbiohazard

I'm a hapa baby -- Irish and Chinese (my brothers and I call ourselves "Chirish".  Try not to think too much about people saying that hapa babies are the most beautiful... people mean well!  I tend to take it as a compliment and move on .

Our baby will be 25%, Irish, 25% Chinese, and 50% Eastern European Jewish.  From my experience growing up, really, you don't have to put tons and tons of effort into making sure your kid is aware of his or her cultural identity (unless you want them to speak a second language, and that does take effort).  They follow your lead, pick up your habits and customs.  Things seem "normal" to kids if they seem normal to you.  Stir fry at Thanksgiving?  Why not!  Honestly, it wasn't until I started confusing the two sides of my husband's family that it even registered to me that for many families, both sides look and sound the same -- not at all true of my family!

For us, we'll probably just keep doing what we've been doing.  We'll acknowledge the holidays from all sides.  We'll pass on the habits we've unconsciously formed from our own parents.  Most of all, we'll make sure that our kids don't confuse respect for the past with a reason to exclude others .  When people asked my parents what their kids would "be", they were like... um, American??  And that's how I identify myself, for sure.

Cindy Thomas

I am from Sierra Leone and Hubs is from Ghana...both black, but two different cultures with different languages and slightly different cuisines. This was a good post topic, it just proves how diverse the world is and how things have and are changing.

RedMar

I want a Hapa baby !!!!! I actually told DH this after we got married and he said he won't be able to help me in that department ... Sigh... Just be sure to post tons of pics of your beautiful Hapas when they areive!!

jessierye

I'm mostly Irish and my hubby is Filipino and we are looking forward to our little Hapa boy. Lots of my husbands cousins also have Hapa's so our little ones will fit right in. We plan to teach our kids both cultures and make him proud of each. We even found an adorable "I'm Irish and Filipino" onesie online. Love.

babygabe614

I suppose we'd fit into this group, too. I've never heard the term hapa before though... interesting! I'm 50/25/25 (ish) Irish, Puerto Rican, and black. DH is mostly Italian and Irish but a little Polish as well. It's funny because we were just talking about how both of us are primarily Irish but neither of us look it at all aside from our light eyes. LO will also be primarily Irish but probably won't look the part, either.

layersofmeaning

I've never heard of this term before. I'm Peruvian (my grandmother is Italian) and my husband is American. I moved to the US to go to college. When my son was born, his pediatrician told us he was "black Irish" a term we had never heard before and it refers to people with darker hair, fair skin and blue eyes. Our son does not look Latin at all but he is bilingual. We are excited to see what baby #2 will look like!

kimbercash79

My husband is hapa. Part chinese part Caucasian and I think he is the most beautiful person on the planet.

lucreciac

Love this. I'm first generation born here, both my parents are colombian. My husband is from London, half British/half Egyptian. Our son looks mostly like me, and I love wondering what this next one will look like. We are doing a bilingual home - I (try to) speak mostly Spanish to Charlie and my hubby speaks English. My parents do only Spanish to him. We do foods from both cultures and he's already been to London I think it's great to keep both cultures involved - makes for a fun and interesting upbringing!