tantrums

maven212

So, two things have happened in the last 10 days

1) LO has started to tantrum every single day. The actual tipping point is hard to identify. Occasionally, it's because we've taken something away - but usual, it appears to just start. The tantrums are getting longer in length and more dramatic. They last 20 minutes on average. Yesterday she screamed for almost 40 minutes, throwing herself on the floor and, at one point, pushing her head along the floor with her feet.

2) LO has dropped her afternoon nap, and pushed her morning nap to 11 am - 1 pm. If she does manage to nap in the afternoon, it happens after 5:30 and then we can't get her to bed until midnight.

Advice? I've tried leaving her alone, rubbing her back, giving her food, skyping my parents, giving her new "toys" (like my watch) to examine, laughing, consoling, giving her advil, asking her questions, staying quiet, giving her hugs, making conversation, showing her books, playing music, playing angry birds, leaving the room entirely. It doesn't stop. She throws her food, books, screams just as loud if I am there than if I am not...and, on occasion, I get scratched. She'll even point and ask for something while she is like this and if we give it to her she throws it and walks away. If we don't give it to her, she screams more loudly. She will take 20 second breaks when she, say, finds herself in a downward facing dog position and thinks it is interesting. If a noise happens or I speak or I move, she starts again. Tears, baleful wails...just..awful. Yesterday DH left the apartment to go to work, and about 5 minutes after that she stopped.

I don't have much furniture in the new digs...so the screams echo in the apartment. My neighbours are getting an earful.

LBStewart

I agree with PP.  We've never had tantrums to the extent you are dealing with, but I have been noticing that DD is getting frustrated when I have a difficult time understanding what she wants.  Sometimes I'll just keep picking up objects until she lets me know that I picked up what she wants.

credcat7

we also switched to one nap and I see her getting frustrated/whiney at a point in the day.. its usually my cue to take her outside to walk or in her room for 10 min or the kitchen... just a different scene for 10 minutes or so... usually I can then come back to the living room (her play area) ... we are shifting her dinner/bedtime according to the one nap so by 5pm we are gearing up for dinner prep, bath, books clean up so by 7pm dinner is on the table and by 8 she is cuddling with books and one of us... maybe a bottle ... trying to wean that too if the routine is strong enough that she is feeling calm and collected...

billybumbler

My DD has done exactly what you describe a couple of times this week. She gets so upset that she gets incoherent, she points at things like she wants them but if we give it to her she doesn't take it and just cries louder. For us we seem to have figured out that it's an extreme combo of tired plus hungry. Now we give her a bottle soon as we walk in the house back from DC and it's gotten so much better.

maven212

Thanks guys. I'm reading your responses and I'm realizing that most of the time I'm trying to comfort her as opposed to assuming there might a particular thing that she wants. I'll try picking things up and asking "this". I'm pretty sure that yesterday started with hunger and tiredness. She was out in seconds after her bottle last night and didn't wake up until 7 this morning.

@credcat7 - so this past Sunday it was just LO and I. After 30 minutes of trying to get her down at her nap time, I decided to not start a 90 minute effort and strapped her into the carrier and took her for a two hour walk. She was great! She fell asleep on the way home. When she woke up we ate and played. When it came time for second nap, again I put in 30 minutes of effort - when I could see things escalating, I strapped her into the carrier and we explored another part of the city. Around 5 we met up with DH and went to a local restaurant. LO was exhausted but behaved soooooo well. She ate. She explored. We went home - bathtime, reading. Out like a light. Now that I think of it, it's the only day we haven't had a tantrum. I'll give it shot tonight, if I catch the tantrum before it starts.

Thanks again, guys. This has been a stressful time. I appreciate the help.

jg1011

Aww @Maven212 I feel for you. Vincent has entered this stage too so I'm following responses too. It's hard when I can't figure out what he wants!

We've tried ignoring which works sometimes. Most of the time we distract but eventually he remembers what he wanted but didn't get or what was upsetting him and it starts all over again.

It's actually been MUCH worse while he's been sick.

I do agree with credcat7 though... If I can catch him right before I see that he's going to spiral I have a better shot of avoiding. Change if scenery is what daycare tells me works. They take him on a walk.

Hoping this phase passes quickly for all of us dealing with it!

fusionbride

This sounds TERRIBLE.  my LO is just starting tantrums now and has only had a few brief ones so far, so I'm not much help. 

But in general, I am a firm believer in sleep being SUPER important.  I wouldn't discount the change in sleep schedule as a contributing factor. I would put her down to bed super early if you are going to stick with the once-a-day nap.  My LO still gets around 14 or 15 hours of sleep each day...

Good luck!  Hope things improve ASAP!