UO*

Miles2Go

ErBear1010 said:

In regards to the "we are so mean to newbies"..no we are not. Here's the thing-

if you say something stupid, racist, rude..whatever, we will call you out. AND it doesn't matter if you've been here since August or yesterday. The latest GBCB was by a fairly regular poster. I recognized her. BUT she said something unacceptable and then basically said "sorrynotsorry." She got called out.

I don't mind if new people come in. I think it's great. BUT don't come in, AW yourself then say we're mean. Don't come in if you're leaving a group for being mean when you did something stupid (like tell a woman who just had a late loss to go fuck herself). That's not going to go over well. 

You give support, you get support. That's how it has been since the beginning of time. As stupid as it sounds, there are ladies on here I consider friends. You mess with my friends, I'm not nice. We are actually not very bitchy at all. We've had very civil debates on controversial topics. But when you come in here saying the r-word, telling us you smack your 6 month old because the bible, or other stupidity that has occurred, we'll let you know you fucked up. 

Boom. This topic can officially be closed because there's no way anyone has anything productive to add to that.

Christinaruth74

i'll weigh in on the husband first vs. child first thing.  granted, this LO has yet to arrive, so i can't even begin to predict how it will change the dynamic of our marriage. that being said, i've always held to the notion that my marriage comes first. but let me explain! i think in order for myself and DH to be the best parents possible, there needs to be strength in our marriage. in order for there to be strength in our marriage, there needs to be time, communication, and love invested. meaning date nights and alone time will be priority...as much as possible, anyway. that being said, when it comes to the safety and overall benefit of our LO, we will always choose to save LO from the cliff over ourselves!
i guess what im saying is that i would like for DH and i to work toward the balance. does that even make sense?

Miles2Go

I dislike strapless wedding & bridesmaid gowns. I think most women (myself included) don't look good in them.

Bootsie327

ABColeslaw said:

Come on people now, smile at your brother, everybody get together time to love one another....

Except when someone comes over acting like and asshole. I don't actually see a lot of "And you are?????"  Not on this board. 

The only time I've seen that is when a rando White Knight chimes in and we've never heard of this person. But I feel like in those circumstances it's totally fine to be like "wait, who are you??" because they come out of the woodwork to defend someone getting flamed for what is usually a flame-worthy comment.

ABColeslaw

Christinaruth74 said:

i'll weigh in on the husband first vs. child first thing.  granted, this LO has yet to arrive, so i can't even begin to predict how it will change the dynamic of our marriage. that being said, i've always held to the notion that my marriage comes first. but let me explain! i think in order for myself and DH to be the best parents possible, there needs to be strength in our marriage. in order for there to be strength in our marriage, there needs to be time, communication, and love invested. meaning date nights and alone time will be priority...as much as possible, anyway. that being said, when it comes to the safety and overall benefit of our LO, we will always choose to save LO from the cliff over ourselves!
i guess what im saying is that i would like for DH and i to work toward the balance. does that even make sense?

this isn't the same as putting your H over your child.  My MIL is a marriage first type of person.  Here is how it played out.  My FIL decided he is dissapointed in my H...for various weird reasons.  He doesn't speak to my H and refuses to have no relationship with Asher.  My MIL supports her H because he is her H and that is what a good wife does.  She suffers for it big time and so does my H and Asher. 

ABColeslaw

miles2go....gasp!  lol I totes wore a strapless gown!

Christinaruth74

ABColeslaw said:

Christinaruth74 said:

i'll weigh in on the husband first vs. child first thing.  granted, this LO has yet to arrive, so i can't even begin to predict how it will change the dynamic of our marriage. that being said, i've always held to the notion that my marriage comes first. but let me explain! i think in order for myself and DH to be the best parents possible, there needs to be strength in our marriage. in order for there to be strength in our marriage, there needs to be time, communication, and love invested. meaning date nights and alone time will be priority...as much as possible, anyway. that being said, when it comes to the safety and overall benefit of our LO, we will always choose to save LO from the cliff over ourselves!
i guess what im saying is that i would like for DH and i to work toward the balance. does that even make sense?

this isn't the same as putting your H over your child.  My MIL is a marriage first type of person.  Here is how it played out.  My FIL decided he is dissapointed in my H...for various weird reasons.  He doesn't speak to my H and refuses to have no relationship with Asher.  My MIL supports her H because he is her H and that is what a good wife does.  She suffers for it big time and so does my H and Asher. 

yuck. definitely not what i meant. sorry for the sucky il situation

awc1986

My UO is that i enjoy the occasional drama we get on these boards, but it sometimes feels like some people enjoy the drama too much and need to know when to back away from the keyboard. Most shit-stirrers' dig their own hole and deserve some berating, but when it gets to over 5 pages of people saying the same thing and getting into the "i know you are but what am i?" sort of argument, perhaps its time to just let sleeping dogs lie? 

Some people says really stupid things. Once 10 people have told them about the stupid thing they've said, it doesn't need another 20 people to hammer it home. Especially when the person concerned hasn't even been back for 3 days. 

ABColeslaw

Christinaruth74 said:

ABColeslaw said:

Christinaruth74 said:

i'll weigh in on the husband first vs. child first thing.  granted, this LO has yet to arrive, so i can't even begin to predict how it will change the dynamic of our marriage. that being said, i've always held to the notion that my marriage comes first. but let me explain! i think in order for myself and DH to be the best parents possible, there needs to be strength in our marriage. in order for there to be strength in our marriage, there needs to be time, communication, and love invested. meaning date nights and alone time will be priority...as much as possible, anyway. that being said, when it comes to the safety and overall benefit of our LO, we will always choose to save LO from the cliff over ourselves!
i guess what im saying is that i would like for DH and i to work toward the balance. does that even make sense?

this isn't the same as putting your H over your child.  My MIL is a marriage first type of person.  Here is how it played out.  My FIL decided he is dissapointed in my H...for various weird reasons.  He doesn't speak to my H and refuses to have no relationship with Asher.  My MIL supports her H because he is her H and that is what a good wife does.  She suffers for it big time and so does my H and Asher. 

yuck. definitely not what i meant. sorry for the sucky il situation

It is what it is.  Sometimes I read about over involved MILs on here and I almost prefer my situation. 

mileswithmyles

@CamrynnsMommy and @Mamazon2014- Agreed! I used to love this show, but I feel like it has started to be more about winning than health. Even better than Bob and Jillian's reaction is Tanya's face. 


I think this blogger had a good perspective on it for the most part, but I still think Rachel was too thin!  My running partner lost 100 pounds on her own over the course of a year by counting calories and starting a gym routine.  Her build is really similar to Holley's from this season and I think she looks smokin' compared to being pin thin.  Being skinny doesn't make you healthy. 

@lica001- No one flamed the newbie yesterday for being new, they flamed her for telling another June 14 mom to F off after a late loss.  I don't care if you been here since the beginning of time, you just don't do that.

My UO- I am really starting to dread maternity leave.  I know it is irrational, but I really feel like my students need me.  Clearly, my baby does too and I have a feeling once he gets here I will be more along the lines of "What students?" but right now this is really hard for me. 

Christinaruth74

Miles2Go said:

I dislike strapless wedding & bridesmaid gowns. I think most women (myself included) don't look good in them.

i literally just changed my siggy to a picture of DH and myself in my strapless wedding gown and then i read this.

i agree, though.  i hadn't wanted strapless at.all.  i tried that dress on for ha-ha's and it wound up being the one.  but you better believe that i went out and purchased a kettle bell weight and made sure i did some arm exercises every evening until the big day....and even now i'll look at some pictures and think, "ehhh....maybe the cape should have stayed on..."

Miles2Go

For the record, I'm mobile and can't see siggys, so that was not directed at any of you blushing brides.

IBackBevo

awc1986 said:

My UO is that i enjoy the occasional drama we get on these boards, but it sometimes feels like some people enjoy the drama too much and need to know when to back away from the keyboard. Most shit-stirrers' dig their own hole and deserve some berating, but when it gets to over 5 pages of people saying the same thing and getting into the "i know you are but what am i?" sort of argument, perhaps its time to just let sleeping dogs lie? 

Some people says really stupid things. Once 10 people have told them about the stupid thing they've said, it doesn't need another 20 people to hammer it home. Especially when the person concerned hasn't even been back for 3 days. 

I agree. That was pretty much my point.  Sometimes I want to post this:  

MamaLlama14

I actually think I have one this week, probably due to my shitty past few days and poor attitude this week.  Long rant, sorry:

I'm done reprimanding or disciplining my child for things that he is doing in response to, or has just copied from, someone else's kid who is not being disciplined.  For instance, when Awful Child #1 at gymnastics pushes DS 99 times and each and every time my son says, "Hey! No no! No push!" just like he's been told, and then on time #100 he gets fed up and pushes Awful Child #1 back, he's sure as shit not getting in trouble for it.  I used to- like, until last week.  I would jump in and say, "No no, we don't put our hands on other people right? Say your'e sorry to X."  To be consistent with what we teach DS at home and in daycare, sometimes he'd even wind up in a time out over it if he didn't want to say sorry.

But you know what? The parent of that other kid has NEVER made an attempt to teach her child not to push or hit.  She's never reprimanded him for repeatedly knocking my kid down, pushing him, taking toys from him, etc... In fact, she encourages it.  "Oh that X, he's a little MMA wrestler in training, huh?" 

These kids are toddlers.  They're going to push and hit and say no.  I get that.  I often watch from the side and see how they work it out.  But because they're toddlers and still need some direction while learning these skills, sometimes you need to step in and reiterate the right way to behave.  I don't judge the 3 year old who's pushing my son.  I judge his mother for laughing every time he's a beast and never once trying to guide him.  When other parents linger after you leave class to make sure they sign up for next week's class at a different time so they don't have to deal with Awful Child #1 and his mother, that's a problem.  I'm no longer sending my kid the message that he's wrong when he tries his hardest 2.5year old self to follow the rules and eventually learns it doesn't work, and winds up copying the bad behavior of the class bully.

mileswithmyles

mrspopsicle said:

I agree that the biggest loser winner looks a little gaunt. I don't watch the show, but I read that she is a former champion swimmer. So, I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt that she has a naturally small frame.

I am going to respectfully disagree here. I was a competitive swimmer for a long time and had, as I like to call them, "man arms."  Swimming makes your shoulders VERY broad and muscular.  Have you seen Missy Franklin?

awc1986

Miles2Go said:

I dislike strapless wedding & bridesmaid gowns. I think most women (myself included) don't look good in them.

I agree. I couldn't have worn a strapless gown anyway, even if i wanted too. My tatas are far too big and need the support of straps. I think it's important that a bride wears what she feels most comfortable and beautiful in on her wedding day, but i just really don't like the big poofy foofy strapless princess dresses that are fashionable right now. I went slimline and cap sleeved because i'm short and knew i'd look like an antique toilet roll cover in a strapless meringue dress and its just not my style. 

Christinaruth74

Miles2Go said:

For the record, I'm mobile and can't see siggys, so that was not directed at any of you blushing brides.

it's too late! the damage has been done!

mileswithmyles

Miles2Go said:

I dislike strapless wedding & bridesmaid gowns. I think most women (myself included) don't look good in them.

I added straps to my dress for this reason.  I wore a strapless bridesmaid dress last March and it looked okay, but I look much better with at least 1 shoulder strap!

awc1986

Also re: bridesmaid dresses. Unless all your bridesmaids are of exactly the same build and skin tone, don't put them all in the same dress and colour. It's not one size fits all - be flexible. 

Miles2Go

hcorcoran said:

Miles2Go said:

I dislike strapless wedding & bridesmaid gowns. I think most women (myself included) don't look good in them.

I added straps to my dress for this reason.  I wore a strapless bridesmaid dress last March and it looked okay, but I look much better with at least 1 shoulder strap!


I added a bolero which fixed the look for me. I was actually really fit at the time, and still, every strapless gown have me the strange armpit fat. Also, I don't like the "is she or isn't she naked" look in pictures.

pistolpackinmomma

ABColeslaw said:

miles2go....gasp!  lol I totes wore a strapless gown!

Me too! I was getting married outside in August in Ohio. It was hot. I was not about to put sleeves on if I didn't have to!

pistolpackinmomma

I think I missed a post from yesterday! Was it here or a tri board?

TheBeeCharmer

I rocked out a strapless dress. Maybe it's just when I got married (2007) and the time of year (summer) but it wasn't really being "shown" to do anything but strapless? I hated the cap sleeve gowns because they made my arms look huge. 

TheBeeCharmer

Also, don't want to crush anyone's Valentine's hopes and dreams BUT.... 

• I hate Pandora (blerg) 
• I hate chocolate diamonds and other nonsense 
• The "open hearts" necklaces etc, double blerg. (H and I call them "boobs and butts" necklaces. (Real mature, I know.) 

hfooter

I am not really sure if this qualifies but I am so sick and tired of people telling me I "will understand once I'm a mom."

No, if I make plans a month a head and say I will be there at such and such time I will be there. I will plan my day and time around my kid and the schedule. I will not constantly use them as an excuse. Granted there are times that are unavoidable. But a screaming one year old can surely be calmed down by daddy...

Also I am sick of hearing of how I won't want to leave the baby with anyone or do anything. I would go fucking mad! Just because you experienced it one way does not mean I will experience it the same.

Why can't people stop making excuses, and just say "I can't wait to see you as a mom" rather than telling me how "I will be and feel."


Ps. I love strapless weddings dresses. I didn't have a huge budget and the dresses in my price range for the most part were strapless. The ones with straps were not cute. However, it seems that they are finally makig some with straps that are pretty in the range I was looking back in the day. But to each their own!

Empireceo

My UO is potentially really flammable: It's terrible for your health, it's a smelly disgusting habit, etc. but sometimes I think a man looks really hot when he smokes. When DH and I first met, he smoked cigarettes and even though I am so grateful he quit for so many reasons, I have to admit I found ot sexy in the beginning. I know, I know. WTF.

Cupcakes89

ABColeslaw said:

kramja01 said:

My UO: I generally don't care for newborn photo sessions. I get that you want to have pictures of your kid, but I think some of the more popular "stagings" are weird--baby in a giant basket? Wrapped in some kind of gauze? On the ground in a forest? On top of a typewriter? This is strange to me...

sure sure   But I will have a picture of my little girl in her Harry Potter little butt dipe, some glasses and a lightening bolt on top of and next to the entire Harry Potter series.  It has to happen.  lol. 

I want to do that picture so bad! I've got ideas for it on my pinterest I love HP!

ErikaLynn75

Re: the husband first child second idea...

I have heard it articulated in a way that made great sense to me, although I probably will not be able to do that here. I never viewed it as if my husband and my kid were hanging off a cliff who would I save. But rather, I would choose my marriage over the kid's activities and such. Like always prioritizing date night even if it means the kid has to miss out on something because of it. Also, when it comes to teenagers, mom and dad need to present a united front (even if you don't totally agree behind closed doors), and you can't say things to your teenage daughter like "well, I'm on your side, but your dad says no." It's just bad for family dynamics/relationships.

amroke

I hate strapless dresses only because I have ridiculously big boobs and it's close to impossible to find a supportive strapless bra in my size. So really I don't hate them, I just can't wear them comfortably.

Christinaruth74

Empireceo said:

My UO is potentially really flammable: It's terrible for your health, it's a smelly disgusting habit, etc. but sometimes I think a man looks really hot when he smokes. When DH and I first met, he smoked cigarettes and even though I am so grateful he quit for so many reasons, I have to admit I found ot sexy in the beginning. I know, I know. WTF.

i can't get on board with the smoking is sexy thing, but i will say that i looove when DH has beer breath. i could make out with him forever after he's had a good beer.

ebox322

Christinaruth74 said:

i'll weigh in on the husband first vs. child first thing.  granted, this LO has yet to arrive, so i can't even begin to predict how it will change the dynamic of our marriage. that being said, i've always held to the notion that my marriage comes first. but let me explain! i think in order for myself and DH to be the best parents possible, there needs to be strength in our marriage. in order for there to be strength in our marriage, there needs to be time, communication, and love invested. meaning date nights and alone time will be priority...as much as possible, anyway. that being said, when it comes to the safety and overall benefit of our LO, we will always choose to save LO from the cliff over ourselves!
i guess what im saying is that i would like for DH and i to work toward the balance. does that even make sense?

I see what you're saying...in theory. I think that I need to be a good person and a strong example for my kid outside of the fact that I'm married to their dad. Yeah I don't want them to see an example of a shit ass marriage but I also don't believe in "stay together for the kids" whatsoever (not that that's what you were saying). DH and I got married with the intentions of being parents and thinking of my marriage as my priority and my kids as extra benefits of it doesn't really cut it for me.

IBackBevo

pistolpackinmomma said:

I think I missed a post from yesterday! Was it here or a tri board?

There was a post on here where someone introduced after they were flamed on the June board.  

ABColeslaw

All your strapless haters, it is because you didn't have a Maggie dress.  I have double d's and I assure you I was supported to the max!  Dress of steel!

JessElam

MissLadyTay said:

I guess my UO is that I saw the biggest loser winner and only thought "wow she looks great!" I don't watch the show but saw all the chatter and pictures on Twitter. My other UO is that body shaming is still body shaming whether someone is fat or thin. I think it's wrong. Whether she is "healthy" is between her and her doctor. I hate reading all these comments about her size. Because she's thin people are allowed to speculate? It's not right to comment on other people's bodies no matter what size they are.

I completely agree with body shaming being awful, but when I saw that image of her I felt terrible.  Sure she feels great now, but what she has gone through with this drastic weight loss will in the end be a horrible mind f*ck.  Several years ago I went from a size 14 to a size 2.  I was working out with a personal trainer, I started doing competitive figure competitions, working out 2 hours a day 6 days a week.  If my body fat went above 12% I was considered fat, and this trainer (who I too late realized what a giant hack) constantly reinforced that feeling that I had that I needed to be perfect and no matter how lean I got it was never good enough to be where I needed to be.  For my competitions I would get down to about 8% body fat.  I finally walked away from all of it when I was ridiculed for my bodyfat getting up to a whopping 14%.  The aftermath of that was that I suffered from major metabolic damage, not to mention the mental crash and burn as well. It took me over a year to finally feel in a good place mentally about my body.  I'm not at all saying that this type of working out and lifestyle is a bad thing...in fact it is great when it is done the right way.  When there is balance.  What these contestants do for so long is so extreme and not at all close to real life...when they leave this bubble they are in not only at the ranch but also at home when they are so focused on winning this prize the reality will set in.  They will start to gain some of their weight back, which may not be a bad thing as long as they continue to maintain a healthy diet and exercise routine.  With the extremely drastic change that the winner saw, my fear for her is that she will have major issues going forward unless she can get some kind of counseling and help in finding a healthy balance.

Cupcakes89

I can't pull off strapless dresses so I added some to mine at my fitting.. it cost an extra 100 dollars and was so worth it. I really have no boobage for the most part so the straps made me feel fuller in a way.. plus no worries about the dress falling down! I wanted a V neck dress but it was silly looking so I went for the square neckline

mileswithmyles

ABColeslaw said:

All your strapless haters, it is because you didn't have a Maggie dress.  I have double d's and I assure you I was supported to the max!  Dress of steel!

My dress was a Maggie!!

sws684

Empireceo said:

My UO is potentially really flammable: It's terrible for your health, it's a smelly disgusting habit, etc. but sometimes I think a man looks really hot when he smokes. When DH and I first met, he smoked cigarettes and even though I am so grateful he quit for so many reasons, I have to admit I found ot sexy in the beginning.

I know, I know. WTF.

I actually have to agree here! It disgusts me and is grotesque and against all that I stand for (a bit of a health nut here & in pharmacy). BUT Id be lying if I said my H's annual cigarette wasn't oh so sexy

Rocknroll64

ABColeslaw said:

All your strapless haters, it is because you didn't have a Maggie dress.  I have double d's and I assure you I was supported to the max!  Dress of steel!

I had a maggie strapless too!!! Annnd it was corset style and didn't budget an inch the entire day. It also was form fitting and not a big puffy princess dress.

Rocknroll64

kramja01 said:

My UO: I generally don't care for newborn photo sessions. I get that you want to have pictures of your kid, but I think some of the more popular "stagings" are weird--baby in a giant basket? Wrapped in some kind of gauze? On the ground in a forest? On top of a typewriter? This is strange to me...

haha I think this too and at this point I'm def not getting newborn pics done.  That being said, when I wasn't pregnant I disliked maternity photos too, but now I am getting them done and really excited about it!  So who knows.....

Bootsie327

pistolpackinmomma said:

miles2go....gasp!  lol I totes wore a strapless gown!

Me too! I was getting married outside in August in Ohio. It was hot. I was not about to put sleeves on if I didn't have to!

I wore one too! But I totally get the main bullet point about how they aren't for everyone. My tatas are naturally not that big (right now is a different story, but this was pre-pg skinny wedding weight, so....not much boob to write home about haha), so I was able to just have cups sewn in and was fine, and I never felt like I was pulling it up the whole time. I was in a wedding where everyone was varying shapes and sizes, so the bride had us in different dresses of our choice all in the same color. That worked out so much better because I was able to get my strapless look on again, and some of the other girls who don't prefer strapless were able to go with straps or halters.