Hello! May I join you?

JuneBug317

Hi ladies! Ive been lurking on your boards for a few days and finally commented so thought I would intro myself:) I was a June 7 due date but got moved to May 31 around week 12 but had already started in with the June month club.  I recently got bullied by some of the moms on that board for asking a 'stupid question' which in retrospect (and after reading their 150+ hurtful comments) I do understand how I could have offended some moms who had recently lost their pregnancies. I had a few ppl privately message me to apologize for the other women's rudeness and to persuade me not leave such a potentially wonderful resource of ladies, especially as a FTM.  I just cant bring myself to participate in that month club anymore and I was so hurt and upset that my husband and sisters denied me use of thebump! So I thought if you all would let me, I would love to join your group?  

alphalyrae

You might want to lurk here longer. Sorry.

Mimaloo

alphalyrae said:

You might want to lurk here longer. Sorry.

Agreed.  

Rocknroll64

You seem a tad dramatic.........

AnnieA75

Rocknroll64 said:

You seem a tad dramatic.........

It certainly does seem like we have more than enough drama on the May board already.

jjh471

Mimaloo said:

alphalyrae said:

You might want to lurk here longer. Sorry.

Agreed.  

"Third-ed"

Miles2Go

So I've now read your whole post of craziness. You are welcome to post here, but I caution you against being super defensive if people disagree with you. I'll third the idea that you should lurk to get the feel if the board. One thing the June mamas were trying to explain to you is that you have stepped into an established community. We have been forming friendships for 25 or so weeks, and while we absolutely welcome newcomers, it helps to understand this concept.

Also, my traditional greeting for newbies:

JuneBug317

Sorry and yep I can lurk longer.  Don't mean to be dramatic (I swear I'm not:), just hoping to participate with out ppl wondering "who's this new person from out of no where?" and thought it polite to ask...

Miles2Go

Yes, intros are a good thing

ABColeslaw

I'm not going to go over to the June board to see what went down.  From what you said it has something to do with loss.  I just want to caution you that there has been a lot of loss on this board in the past and we've already had one of our regulars have a very late loss.  So just be sensitive. 

We've also been told on the regular that we're a bitchy group, I don't think we are, but you might want to lurk for a week before you get in on the FFFCs and UOs just so you can catch the feel. 

Otherwise, yes you can post. 

typeset

LoveIsAll25

Welcome!

The board doesn't do well with the following:

-kid spankers
-racist remarks
-throwing your own baby shower for any reason
-using the 'R' word, apologizing for using the word, making an excuse for using the word, and then calling all of us the 'R' word

Mimaloo

typeset said:

Hehe - this made me LOL.  Love that guy.  

JuneBug317

@ABColeslaw thanks for the heads up.  It wasn't a post about a loss rather a question about kicking that got misconstrued as bragging (which I get and is annoying). I hadn't been paying attention for the week and there had been a few loses I was unaware of so it was a very poorly timed question.

kat8805

For those of you on mobile, or those of you unable/unwilling to have a look, per her last post on June'14, which appears to have had a particularly bad week with some late losses, and other scary events, here is what we have to look forward to from this gem.

JuneBug317 

January 31

I feel like my baby kicks and moves ALOT! Especially if there is pressure on my bump from the way I sit or lay down, if i'm wearing a tighter fitting waist band or if anything is resting on me like my computer or a pillow. I love feeling him wiggle around but is this normal? 

JuneBug317 said:

Geez... Nevermind. 'This chick' has a job and hasn't been able to check back in.  It was just a freaking question because I thought the movement seemed excessive and wondered if it was because I should be wearing looser cloths or something.  Or hiccups or gas?  I don't know that WHY I asked. Sorry if that came off as 'bragging'.  My mistake for being a first time mom and asking a simple question.  Ill keep my thoughts to myself. Danm.

JuneBug317 said:

No body told me that being a second or third time mom qualifies at being an immature hormonal bitch but I guess thats a given.  I guess by my second or third time around I will have figured out that this message board is not a good resource for pregnancy questions. It is however wonderful for making complete strangers feel like shit.  Ill go back to being blissfully ignorant now.

JuneBug317 said:

You know what? Fuck you too.  This is so fucking ridiculous.  I do not have a perfect pregnancy, I'm high risk with a blood clotting disorder that I have monitored weekly by my OB, Hemotologist and Marternal-Fetal OB. I only found out last year that I could even have children and I almost died earlier in life from a blood clot in my brain due to excessive estrogen from birth control. And I am not going to apologize or feel bad because I have a healthy pregnancy, its a BLESSING.  For those ladies that lost their children too soon I am deeply sorry as I only had a glimpse of what that feeling is like and it was the coldest darkest place I have ever known.

You 'ladies' should feel ashamed of yourselves especially with the heightened attention to bullying over the last few decades.  What kind of role models are you setting for all of our children by maliciously bashing people who walk into a room of what they hoped would be a group of people undergoing a similar situation to only find out its nothing but a bunch of mean girls in the popular crowd that bully the 'newbies' until they leave because they dont' know 'the rules' or how to ask the 'right' questions.

This nonstop negativity and harassment is not good for me or the progress of my growing baby. Feel free to continue with your obscene comments and banter, that I only expect from bullies like you, but know that I will not be reading them or giving this board a second thought through out any pregnancy I may be blessed with having in the future.   

Edit cause words be hard. Yo.

mileswithmyles

LoveIsAll25 said:

Welcome! The board doesn't do well with the following: -kid spankers -racist remarks -throwing your own baby shower for any reason -using the 'R' word, apologizing for using the word, making an excuse for using the word, and then calling all of us the 'R' word

All of this, especially the bold.

kat8805

JuneBug317 said:

@ABColeslaw thanks for the heads up.  It wasn't a post about a loss rather a question about kicking that got misconstrued as bragging (which I get and is annoying). I hadn't been paying attention for the week and there had been a few loses I was unaware of so it was a very poorly timed question.

Andplusalso, WTF makes you think we're going to tolerate that BS anymore than June14 did? You were careless and self centered, and they made it very clear how they felt about that. Let it be known, since it is obviously not common knowledge or sense - You get the support you give.

Mimaloo

@kat8805 - oh my.  I popped into June 14 and stopped reading after the hormonal bitches remark.  

FlemDance

Yikes. What a gem.

ABColeslaw

I'm not going to speculate as to whether or not that post would have gone down here the same way it did on the June board.  I'm more inclined to believe it would have gone largely ignored or unanswered. 

However, OP this is why it is a good idea to lurk.  I'm not even a member of that board and I know there has been a lot of loss over there. 

Just lurk and don't be careless or awish and you'll be good.  Also don't defend yourself the way you did over there, I can tell you they were calm compared to how we've been when someone has gone to the crazy train offensive. 

It is possible to reinvent yourself on the bump.  I had a checkered past on here. I've been a member for like 8 years and early on had mishaps.  You just really have to know the community you're trying to break into, be willing to invest in it before you reap the benefits of it, and really just be aware of yourself. 

theoryofwhat

After reading what @kat8805 so kindly posted for those of us on mobile- I'm kinda not digging the idea of this new addition to our BMB. We have enough cray.

spacepotatoes

LoveIsAll25 said:

Welcome! The board doesn't do well with the following: -kid spankers -racist remarks -throwing your own baby shower for any reason -using the 'R' word, apologizing for using the word, making an excuse for using the word, and then calling all of us the 'R' word

To this list, I'd like to add telling a woman who just experienced a loss to go fuck herself. That is not going to go over well either.

ABColeslaw

spacepotatoes said:

LoveIsAll25 said:

Welcome! The board doesn't do well with the following: -kid spankers -racist remarks -throwing your own baby shower for any reason -using the 'R' word, apologizing for using the word, making an excuse for using the word, and then calling all of us the 'R' word

To this list, I'd like to add telling a woman who just experienced a loss to go fuck herself. That is not going to go over well either.

waaaaaaaaht.  Yeah. 

kat8805

And @JuneBug317 being a ST+M or not has nothing to do with the response you got over there. And being a FTM has nothing to do with your ignorant, cold, heartless bitchiness. I suggest you take your family's advice and GTFO now before the flames get hotter.

TheBeeCharmer

spacepotatoes

ABColeslaw said:

spacepotatoes said:

LoveIsAll25 said:

Welcome! The board doesn't do well with the following: -kid spankers -racist remarks -throwing your own baby shower for any reason -using the 'R' word, apologizing for using the word, making an excuse for using the word, and then calling all of us the 'R' word

To this list, I'd like to add telling a woman who just experienced a loss to go fuck herself. That is not going to go over well either.

waaaaaaaaht.  Yeah. 

The whole "You know what? Fuck you too" bit quoted above was in response to this post by SNLT1012:

Oh for fucks sake. That's right, I'm not even using acronyms.

I knew I was avoiding this thread for a reason. I should have never opened it. In reality, I should stop coming here all together, at least for now. But I love you ladies and I can't bring myself to say goodbye to all of you too.

OP, I hardly felt my baby move in 19.3 weeks. And then he died on Tuesday. Fuck you and your stupid ass question. Congrats on your healthy moving baby. Now fuck off.

kat8805

spacepotatoes said:

ABColeslaw said:

spacepotatoes said:

LoveIsAll25 said:

Welcome! The board doesn't do well with the following: -kid spankers -racist remarks -throwing your own baby shower for any reason -using the 'R' word, apologizing for using the word, making an excuse for using the word, and then calling all of us the 'R' word

To this list, I'd like to add telling a woman who just experienced a loss to go fuck herself. That is not going to go over well either.

waaaaaaaaht.  Yeah. 

The whole "You know what? Fuck you too" bit quoted above was in response to this:

Oh for fucks sake. That's right, I'm not even using acronyms.

I knew I was avoiding this thread for a reason. I should have never opened it. In reality, I should stop coming here all together, at least for now. But I love you ladies and I can't bring myself to say goodbye to all of you too.

OP, I hardly felt my baby move in 19.3 weeks. And then he died on Tuesday. Fuck you and your stupid ass question. Congrats on your healthy moving baby. Now fuck off.

Thank you taters!

JuneBug317

I totally agree and I felt and still feel terrible about it.  I really put my foot in my mouth when I turned around to be a crazy immature hormonal bitch in defending myself. I understand if you all would rather go on about your board w/o additions, esp after forming bonds over the last 25 weeks. 

ABColeslaw

I can't. 

OP everything I've said still applies, except I can't defend what you said to a grieving mom. Because God willing you'll never know what that feels like.  Honestly.  It might have been better if you came over here without telling us what you did over there. 

ABColeslaw

Can you just or did you at least apologize to that poor woman who lost her son just short of viability?  Don't even tell anyone you did it, but you should do it for yourself and for her. Just PM or something. Be sincere and grow from the experience. 

awc1986

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CRAZY THIS WEEK?!?!!

Seriously, they're flocking in here like flies on shit.

kat8805

JuneBug317 said:

I totally agree and I felt and still feel terrible about it.  I really put my foot in my mouth when I turned around to be a crazy immature hormonal bitch in defending myself. I understand if you all would rather go on about your board w/o additions, esp after forming bonds over the last 25 weeks. 

Problem, that you can't quite seem to grasp, is you're not an addition. All you're on here for is your own "does this bump make my butt look big?" posts. You DGAF about anyone else, you're just here to get your own questions answered and your ego fluffed.

Sorry, we're not interested in more selfishness. Find a new website with pregnancy boards. Here are some suggestions - https://lmgtfy.com/?q=pregnancy+forums

CamrynnsMommy

kat8805 said:

For those of you on mobile, or those of you unable/unwilling to have a look, per her last post on June'14, which appears to have had a particularly bad week with some late losses, and other scary events, here is what we have to look forward to from this gem.

JuneBug317 

January 31

I feel like my baby kicks and moves ALOT! Especially if there is pressure on my bump from the way I sit or lay down, if i'm wearing a tighter fitting waist band or if anything is resting on me like my computer or a pillow. I love feeling him wiggle around but is this normal? 

JuneBug317 said:

Geez... Nevermind. 'This chick' has a job and hasn't been able to check back in.  It was just a freaking question because I thought the movement seemed excessive and wondered if it was because I should be wearing looser cloths or something.  Or hiccups or gas?  I don't know that WHY I asked. Sorry if that came off as 'bragging'.  My mistake for being a first time mom and asking a simple question.  Ill keep my thoughts to myself. Danm.

JuneBug317 said:

No body told me that being a second or third time mom qualifies at being an immature hormonal bitch but I guess thats a given.  I guess by my second or third time around I will have figured out that this message board is not a good resource for pregnancy questions. It is however wonderful for making complete strangers feel like shit.  Ill go back to being blissfully ignorant now.

JuneBug317 said:

You know what? Fuck you too.  This is so fucking ridiculous.  I do not have a perfect pregnancy, I'm high risk with a blood clotting disorder that I have monitored weekly by my OB, Hemotologist and Marternal-Fetal OB. I only found out last year that I could even have children and I almost died earlier in life from a blood clot in my brain due to excessive estrogen from birth control. And I am not going to apologize or feel bad because I have a healthy pregnancy, its a BLESSING.  For those ladies that lost their children too soon I am deeply sorry as I only had a glimpse of what that feeling is like and it was the coldest darkest place I have ever known.

You 'ladies' should feel ashamed of yourselves especially with the heightened attention to bullying over the last few decades.  What kind of role models are you setting for all of our children by maliciously bashing people who walk into a room of what they hoped would be a group of people undergoing a similar situation to only find out its nothing but a bunch of mean girls in the popular crowd that bully the 'newbies' until they leave because they dont' know 'the rules' or how to ask the 'right' questions.

This nonstop negativity and harassment is not good for me or the progress of my growing baby. Feel free to continue with your obscene comments and banter, that I only expect from bullies like you, but know that I will not be reading them or giving this board a second thought through out any pregnancy I may be blessed with having in the future.   

Edit cause words be hard. Yo.

CamrynnsMommy

spacepotatoes said:

LoveIsAll25 said:

Welcome! The board doesn't do well with the following: -kid spankers -racist remarks -throwing your own baby shower for any reason -using the 'R' word, apologizing for using the word, making an excuse for using the word, and then calling all of us the 'R' word

To this list, I'd like to add telling a woman who just experienced a loss to go fuck herself. That is not going to go over well either.

kristine526

Just

Mimaloo

spacepotatoes said:

ABColeslaw said:

spacepotatoes said:

LoveIsAll25 said:

Welcome! The board doesn't do well with the following: -kid spankers -racist remarks -throwing your own baby shower for any reason -using the 'R' word, apologizing for using the word, making an excuse for using the word, and then calling all of us the 'R' word

To this list, I'd like to add telling a woman who just experienced a loss to go fuck herself. That is not going to go over well either.

waaaaaaaaht.  Yeah. 

The whole "You know what? Fuck you too" bit quoted above was in response to this post by SNLT1012:

Oh for fucks sake. That's right, I'm not even using acronyms.

I knew I was avoiding this thread for a reason. I should have never opened it. In reality, I should stop coming here all together, at least for now. But I love you ladies and I can't bring myself to say goodbye to all of you too.

OP, I hardly felt my baby move in 19.3 weeks. And then he died on Tuesday. Fuck you and your stupid ass question. Congrats on your healthy moving baby. Now fuck off.

talkthewholetime

WOW. I have no words. I might not even have any gifs.

Edited: my gif doesn't work. But I think this will:

babyaotw

I feel like losing your baby half way through pregnancy earns you the right to be a "hormonal bitch." I'm sure your post was a horrendous slap in the face, and you should've been sensitive enough to pick up on that. I can assure you the ladies here won't tolerate that behavior, and it probably won't be a good fit for you.

spacepotatoes

ABColeslaw said:

Can you just or did you at least apologize to that poor woman who lost her son just short of viability?  Don't even tell anyone you did it, but you should do it for yourself and for her. Just PM or something. Be sincere and grow from the experience. 

This is a great idea. If you do genuinely regret that comment, this would be a nice gesture.

JuneBug317

I did PM her but she did not respond and I didn't expect her to.  I just got really defensive at all of the posts and lashed out.  I only hope it doesn't keep her from the boards as she has obviously secured a strong support system and I hate that I have deterred her from visiting them. She has had enough loss. And I am a huge ass.

I am apparently terrible at message boards, but am learning my lesson fast. I burned a lot of bridges in June and thought I could have a fresh start with some lessons learned. Sorry if I have offended anyone else. I just really want to be able to share this amazing time with other expecting moms not to brag about myself or try to get attention.  That said, it kindof looks like I am doing that anyway with all this drama! AHHHH! Im just going to keep my trap shut and mind my ps and qs. 

keeumm

I don't normally get involved in these discussions either, but I agree with everything that people have said about getting what you give. If you want honest advice, you're going to get it here. People care, but they're going to tell you the truth.

It sounds like the June board also tried to tell you the truth, and you weren't too into that. So...good luck with that...