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poas addict :(

NamasteBabyNamasteBaby member
in Third-Party Reproduction
Hi, My name is ______ and I'm a poas addict.
I am 9 dpo after 3 ici ds this cycle.  I used one of my 3 tests and saw a nice familiar bfn this morning.  Ok, so brilliant me - what do I do?   I poas after work as if it will be bfp - just to F%#^ my night up  (momentarily anyway).  Logically I know it is so early that I'll likely be disappointed and while I admit it hurts to see the bfn's, I cannot seem to exert sufficient willpower to stop poas!  This has all kinds of twinges of past hurts, and I haven't poas since last April.  We took a longgg break from RE for sanity & $ sake.

AAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  it really is like putting my hand on a hot stove 2x in one day.  I embarrassed myself with my naivety/ memory lapse.

Who can relate?

Thanks for letting me share.  
Me (28) DH (34) - married and ttc since 2010.  dx w/ severe MFI 2011.  10/12 ivf w/ icsi, long lupron protocol, menopour etc. resulted in 3dt 2 embies bfp - beta 38, beta #2 numbers dropped to 22... early m/c.   4/13 ivf w/ icsi #2 = pushed hard on stims - all embies ceased on day 3, nothing to transfer and nothing to freeze.  ***Break from RE for sanity & $ .  IF is incredibly painful and I found that the grief process is chock full of suckiness.
Currently: Accepting RE's original recommendation to use DS during IVF w. icsi as back up bc DH #s are so low. 
AI w. DS 3x 1/23, 1/25, & 1/27.  8dpo- bfn, 9dpo- bfn. Hubby is calling me Pupo, <3 him.

Important part of my story: 1.17.08: I lost my baby girl @ 21weeks. Pathology reported that she was "normal" and I was healthy.  I was high risk on modified bed rest when dx with case of placenta previa/ abruption which ultimately led to too much lost amniotic fluid. After weeks of bed rest and hospital stays; I had to say goodbye.  
My arms have ached for my Juliette Marie ever since.

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Re: poas addict :(

  • Lacyj67Lacyj67 member
    I POAS this morning 4dp5dt and got stark white bfn. Sucks so I promised I would not pee tonight.... And here I sit wondering when I have to pee next if I will reach for the stick... Just read your post and it has helped me ... I will NOT POAS tonight!! Ohhhh this sucks!!! I feel your pain!!!
    Me 34 and DH 39 married in aug. 2002
    Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN
     High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 
    IVF #1 May 2012  ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN
    MINI IVF Oct.2012  Cancelled 10-27-12
    Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013
    Shared cycle..Donor cycled in July Got 12 eggs 9 fertilized and 8 frozen!!
    DE FET #1 Sept. 3rd 2013 FIRST BFP EVER 5dp5dt
    miscarried Sept 24th at 5 weeks 5 days
    Etopic  D&C and hysterscopy Nov 5 2013
    dx with pre genetic blood clotting dec 2013
    FET #2 Jan 31st  2014 
    Miscarried for a second time again at 5 weeks 5 days
    Currently fostering to adopt an amazing little 1 year old boy..P.J!
    FET#3  is Oct 29th 2014
    BFN on fet #3
    Last and FINAL FET coming JAN 28th 2015
    Everyone Welcome






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  • DoulaRaVenMaDoulaRaVenMa member
    I know I can :-h its so hard for me not to poas if I have them in the house & this last transfer I bought a big box 25 went used all but five before my beta 8-}
    Hang in there its still early for a 3dayer fx that your BFP will show soon!!
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  • stinkerbell6879stinkerbell6879 member
    Yup. I am guilty of this. I was good until beta and then when we were going through beta helllz I POAS way to many times :/

    April 2013 DE IVF= BFN

    September 2013 DE IVF (Fingers Crossed) = BFFFN! again...

    October 2013 FET of our last 2 = Beta Hellzz for 6-7 Weeks. M/C

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