Is 6 weeks enough?

SarahSvrjcek

Hi, I'm a first time mother.  My company cannot gaurantee me my job back if I take longer than 6 weeks of maternity leave post-delivery, no matter what complications arise.  I'm nervous.  Is 6 weeks enough?

mcgeeva

First off how many people work within your company? Have you been with your company for a full year before birth? Each state is different but as far as FMLA goes you need to be with a Large company (more then 50 employees) to qualify for fmla which holds your job with or without pay for 12 weeks from the date of birth.

megs68

Do you qualify for FMLA and know your rights under this? You definitely should research this and make sure they're not breaking the law when they tell you this. Personally, 6 weeks would really not have been enough for me. Obviously if I'd had to make it work, I would have, but I had a very unexpected c/s and was still recovering. I also had trouble nursing so was still dealing with this and I just emotionally wouldn't have been ready. Your body and hormone levels are just still all over the place 6 weeks after giving birth. Like I said, if I'd had to, I would have, but it would have been very very difficult for me.

blush64

As PP suggested I would check in to things to make sure that's really all the time you qualify for.

I would not have been ready physically, emotionally or mentally but I doubt I'll ever be ready emotionally. I do know two women who have gone back by choice at 3-6 weeks and they were fine. Their kids are grown now so it was a while ago but some women can and do go back that early.

SarahSvrjcek

Yes, I qualify for FMLA.  However, there are loopholes that the company may take.  It is a contractor company, so they may give me a position that pays less than the one I have.  They could also say that they are giving me the same job, but it's in a different location.  As in, "Welcome back, Sarah.  Your new job is now three hours away from your house.  Have fun with that." 

I love my job and don't want to lose it.  I'll also be breastfeeding, so I can't picture myself looking for a job elsewhere and then having to go pump every two hours.  Not a good way to start off a new job.  Are there any laws that say they can't fire me for having to go pump every two hours?

SarahSvrjcek

There's also the question of if my kid will turn into a little psycho if I put him in daycare at 6 weeks old.  Do you think that doing that would make me a bad mom? 

ufsandra85

i am in the military and only get 6 weeks and I am having a c section. i think you will be fine

SarahSvrjcek

^Thank you.

TradeMama

I went back 6 weeks after a CS with DS. It was difficult but doable, assuming your job isn't physically demanding. My DS started daycare at 6 weeks and was fine.

Rrrrrachel

In some ways no amount of time is enough,but you do what you got to do. Sounds like your employer sucks, so I'm glad you like your job. Lots of people put their kids in day care at six weeks, so no it won't make them a psycho.

mcgeeva

It does not make you crazy. It's being a parent. Sometimes we don't have the money to stay home past 6 weeks. It it what it is and your child will do just fine. Hang in there. Also no company can fire you for pumping. As far as loopholes go..just read the policy and ask all the questions you can. Not all jobs are flexable and caring. I wish they were but they aren't.

SarahSvrjcek

Thanks guys; this is actually making me feel a lot less tense.  Maybe I'm just worrying too much since this is my first time around.  Just wanna do the right thing, you know?

PrimRoseMama

It sounds like it has to be enough? Can you afford to lose your job?

mcgeeva

Yep but I learned a lot after my first time my company took advantage of me. You have to read your policy and really look out for yourself.

Pepper6

I don't know anyone that didn't go back to work after 6 weeks (unless they weren't going back at all).  It's rough emotionally from what I hear, but I think that would be the same no matter how long you were home, but other than that, their kids did fine in day care and they were physically ready for work.

JuneMrs

I would suggest researching the laws in your state related to family leave, bonding leave, etc.

SarahSvrjcek

"It sounds like it has to be enough? Can you afford to lose your job?"

 

Well, my hubs makes *just enough* for us to get by.  Without my income, we would have very little savings to put away each month, but we would make it. 

slwprincess

6 weeks is fine.  It's the minimum after a c/s, but it's fine.  There will be other challenges- particularly if you are BF.  So yes, it will be hard but doable.  There is a major benefit to putting baby into daycare at this stage... with both of my previous babies, daycare was able to get them onto a GREAT schedule within the first week where I had struggled at home.  It ended up making baby happier and a better sleeper at nighttime ;-)  Focus on the positives and you'll be fine!

Avion22

Another military mom here.  We only get 6 weeks, and I know a lot of people who have done it.  My own mother went back to work 2 weeks after having me.

As long as you don't have a lot of complications, then you should be fine physically.   If you DO have complications, will your employer accept a doctor's note saying you're not physically ready to return to work full-time?

chillypenguin

Physically, I would have been ok to go back to work at 6 weeks after I had DD (vaginal delivery). Emotionally it would have been tough, but I went back at 12 weeks and had a really tough time then too. I didn't want to go back to work, but I knew it was what I needed to do to help provide for my family. So if you have to go back at 6 weeks I think you would be ok, just know it might be hard and don't be too hard on yourself!

InLovewSB

After E was born, I took 6 weeks post C-section. I work in the same town where I live, so I have almost no commute and went home to nurse her at lunch everyday.  It was fine. Physically, I was healed. Emotionally, I might have liked some more time, but I was fine, tired, but fine.

spacepotatoes

SarahSvrjcek said:

There's also the question of if my kid will turn into a little psycho if I put him in daycare at 6 weeks old.  Do you think that doing that would make me a bad mom? 

Are you serious with this? Please tell me you were just exaggerating for effect.

If you truly want to know, there is peer reviewed literature out there showing that day care does not, in fact, turn children into psychos.

spacepotatoes

MrsEll said:

spacepotatoes said:

SarahSvrjcek said:

There's also the question of if my kid will turn into a little psycho if I put him in daycare at 6 weeks old.  Do you think that doing that would make me a bad mom? 

Are you serious with this? Please tell me you were just exaggerating for effect.

If you truly want to know, there is peer reviewed literature out there showing that day care does not, in fact, turn children into psychos.

I think these are normal worries. Pretty sure the psycho comment was TIC but the worry about being a bad mom (or at least being perceived as a bad mom) - that's totally normal.

Yeah, I do realize these are normal worries but it could have been phrased a little differently. It's hard to interpret someone's tone in writing, and especially when OP doesn't have much of a post history to get a feel for her personality.

Reading this comment right after that crazy "if you can't stay at home, you shouldn't have kids" thread got my back up a little.

KariB509

I went back to work 6 weeks PP when I had my son.

RebeccaY1

This seems so ridiculous to me.  In Ontario, Canada, if you work for a full year before pregnancy then you get a full year off of maternity leave.  You get 80% of your pay during that leave, and the employer is expected to have your job available when you come back.  In fact, most daycares don't even accept very young babies (less than 6 months old).  

spacepotatoes

RebeccaY1 said:

This seems so ridiculous to me.  In Ontario, Canada, if you work for a full year before pregnancy then you get a full year off of maternity leave.  You get 80% of your pay during that leave, and the employer is expected to have your job available when you come back.  In fact, most daycares don't even accept very young babies (less than 6 months old).  

If you worked 600 insurable hours in the 12 months prior to your leave (as long as you haven't made any other EI claims in that time), you qualify for the year. But 80% of your salary? I wish! You get whatever you qualify for through Employment Insurance, up to some maximum, and then it's up to your employer whether they top that up or not. Many don't. Because I'm not permanent staff, I don't get benefits through my employer and will not be making even close to 80% of my usual pay while I'm off. Also, your exact job doesn't necessarily have to be available. A comparable job, yes, but your exact one, no. It doesn't even have to be at the location you were originally working at. That also varies with individual employer/union policies.

Our benefits are great, I am not complaining about them, I just don't like seeing our mat leave being misrepresented as something more or better than what it actually is. A lot depends on how much the employer is willing to give, not just the government.
(Edited to correct a number)

SarahSvrjcek

What does "BF" mean?

SarahSvrjcek

"If you DO have complications, will your employer accept a doctor's note saying you're not physically ready to return to work full-time?"

 

They actually will not let me return until I get a doctor's note saying that I'm well enough for work.  Regardless, they can start trying to replace me after six weeks of leave, period.

SarahSvrjcek

Kind of kidding, kind of not kidding about the "psycho" comment.  If there was literature conducted to prove whether or not daycares affected kids in this way, then I must not be the only one concerned about this.  Maybe it was phrased in a way you didn't like, but whatever; the world's a rough place.

SarahSvrjcek

What does TIC and SN mean?  Yeah, should and will change my user name.  Made it when I was getting married, like a year before I actually changed my name.  Stupid of me.

spacepotatoes

SarahSvrjcek said:

Kind of kidding, kind of not kidding about the "psycho" comment.  If there was literature conducted to prove whether or not daycares affected kids in this way, then I must not be the only one concerned about this.  Maybe it was phrased in a way you didn't like, but whatever; the world's a rough place.

I didn't mean it quite so literally. The studies I'm aware of were looking to see if day care or preschool programs made a significant difference for kids in terms of social skills, behaviour issues, academics, that sort of thing. The general consensus is no, unless kids are coming from very low SES homes (socio-economic status), in which case these programs can give them an advantage. Otherwise, kids turn out pretty much the same whether they're in day care or at home.

I am a teacher and this is something that comes up frequently in developmental and educational psychology courses.