Introduction - new to loss board

Tonic3121

Hello I am new to the loss boards. We just loss our sweet angel Hattie January 22 at the childrens hospital. She was born January 15 at 36 weeks 2 days. It is all such a fog to me still...everything had been going great until that day when we found out by high tech ultrasound that her heart and all 4 chambers were very enlarged. It was decided to deliver her that day so it could all be accessed. By the next morning she was placed on an ecmo machine which was a life support for the heart and lungs after we almost lost her that first night. From the heart being so large it put additional pressure on liver and it ruptured so she had 2 abdominal surgeries during that time. They are testing genetics too at this point for a ehlers danlos syndrome however neither one of us have ever known of this in our families. I had gestational diabetes that was diet controlled but am so worried I caused all of this to my sweet baby girl!! After 7 days on the machine she developed a few bleeds on the brain and we had to make the hardest decision to take her off support because the bleed had caused her to have a stroke....
Sorry for rambling just so lost and heartbroken
We are just shy of 38 so I wonder if our age played a role in this as well....
Many prayers to all of you for your situations as well and thanks for listening!!!

Noethola

***Siggy warning***

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss of Hattie. I truly hope the drs are able to give you a lot of information to help you through this process. You did everything you could for your daughter. Please be gentle with yourself as you face this new journey. Use this board as little or as much as you would like. We are here to support when we can, listen when we can and cry with you over the tragedy of losing your daughter.

VyD81

I'm so so sorry for your loss of sweet Hattie. Please know that this is not your fault, we're here for you. Hugs.

stefuge

I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Hattie. Please know that you did everything you could for your little girl. No one wants to join this club, but these ladies are an incredible source of comfort, strength, and encouragement and we are here whenever you need us. Please be gentle with yourself in the weeks to come and just take it one day at a time. So many ((hugs)).

DevonBedford

I'm so so sorry for your loss. We are all here for support or simply *hugs*

Bgirma

I am so so sorry for your loss. We lost our son 5 weeks ago and this board has been a great source of support for me, I hope the same for you. Please know that we will all be thinking about you and your family. ((Hugs))

Tonic3121

Thank you to all the kind words...never did we ever imagine being in this position! I am so very sorry for everyone else's loss as well....and I am here for your support as well! Just so hard for me to understand it all!!

kz's_girlygirl

I am so so sorry for your loss of beautiful Hattie. I love her name!!

There are so many things that we feel we deserve blame for and so many things that are easy to question in retrospect, but please know that you are not alone in those feelings, and most importantly- there is nothing you did or did not do to cause what happened.

I hope you Dr's are able to give you some information soon. It is so hard to feel like there is no explanation and no answers.

I will be thinking of you and hoping for comfort and peace in the days and weeks ahead

Maybe Joleisa

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Hattie. My heart breaks for you and everyone who has reason to post on this board. I think I always feared being in this position, but never did I imagine it being my reality. ((hugs))

kflynn81

So sorry for your loss. I think its only natural to think we did something to cause what happened. I know its easier said than done to say dont blame yourself, but hopefully in time soon you can come to peace with this. I'm so sorry you're here but welcome to the board. ((hugs))

shandorfml2

So sorry for the loss of your sweet Hattie ((hugs))

Xath

*siggy warning*

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter.  

BrittianyM

So very sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. We are all here for you whenever you need us.

mingaling2

I'm so very sorry to hear about sweet Hattie. I hope you can find some comfort from this board. 

neptunebljc

I'm so sorry for your loss. This board is a great place, full of wonderfully supportive women.

cawettig

I am so sorry for your loss, this was not your fault

jonahsma

I am sorry for the loss of your Hattie, we are here anytime you need support. ((hugs))