DH advice - long — The Bump
June 2012 Moms

DH advice - long

The past couple Friday evenings DH has been coming home later because he's been stopping to grab drinks with his buddy or hanging out at his buddy's house. Although he's home by 8, it's bothering me. It's totally innocent and I understand he wants to have fun but I'm kind of mad that he just goes out and expects me to be ok with it. I want to spend time with him and have family time on a Friday evening. Only on a rare occasion will I just go out and leave him with the kids.

Am I being crazy, or clingy, by being bothered he goes out with friends once a week for a couple hours? I guess my feelings are just hurt he wouldn't rather be with us at home on a Friday evening. We both work day jobs and are home together every other evening, plus weekends, so I guess he figures it's no big deal it's just once a week.

What do you ladies think? Any thoughts or advice is appreciated. Do your husbands go out regularly?

Re: DH advice - long

  • DH goes out for drinks with his coworkers every other Friday, but he comes home no later than 7pm. As long as he is back for dinner, it is okay with me. I have been a SAHM since DD was born and I am not really going out, so sometimes I do wish I had a chance to have adult time.
    My friends are in a very different place in life and are not really around lately, so it kind of sucks LOL. DD won't be little forever, so I know I will have more freedom soon.
    Can he go out every other Friday so that you can go out together or you get some girl time?
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  • While I was pregnant, we picked one Friday a month for him to go out, now we have friends here on Saturdays, mostly after Miss Eva is in bed...
    DawnLilly
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  • I don't see a problem with him going out, as long as the option is there for you to do the same, if you so chose.
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    DawnLilly
  • My husband doesn't really go out regularly, but that has more to do with the fact that we don't have a ton of friends here, and I work evenings. We allow each other time to go out when the opportunity arises. We actually both have plans for seperare trips. He is going snowboarding for four days this month, and I am going on a cruise with my mom this summer. It's nice to do things with other people. Time away is needed.
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  • I think if my H had a regular M-F schedule I wouldn't be upset at all if he went out and was home by 8 on a Friday.

    I'd be upset if: he drank more than the legally allowed limit and drove, drank to the point of being hungover and it effected our family time the next day, or if he knew it upset me and my H didn't care and went out anyways. 

    My H goes out occasionally. It's really difficult for him to find the time since he gets out of work late (home around 9) on weekdays, and works all day (gone from 8:30-8:30) on Saturday. We essentially have 1 Sunday and half a weeknight together as a family. When the opportunity does arise for him to hang out I try to encourage it. He seems happier when he has a bit of time with his friends. I know I appreciate the very rare kid-free few hours.
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