New Job before TTC

lulubee85

My boyfriend and I have made the decision that we want to start TTC at some point this year.  However, he feels like he needs to get a better job before we start. I have a good job (that will pay me full salary when I'm on mat leave), and we are financially stable enough for the addition to our family. I think it's more of an ego thing...and I appreciate that he wants to be able to provide more for us, but it isn't really necessary. Plus the job market where we live isn't the best right now, and he has already been trying for about 6 months to find something without success. How do I make him feel better about this?

missnacholover

My opinion is that if he wants a better paying job, you should support him in finding one.  From what you've written, it doesn't sound like he's 100% ready and I don't think couples should start TTC until both parties are 100% on board.

lulubee85

I 100% support him finding a better paying job he loves! Maybe it is a way of him saying that he isn't 100% ready yet! But I do agree...both parties have to be 100% on board! Thanks for the advice

Ducktale

What does he say his reasoning is by wanting a better paying job? Hopefully he is able to have that type of open and honest discussion with you. Is it just financial? Do the numbers together. Is there another reason he's not ready? It's always a bit if a red flag to me when people are guessing why their SO are doing what they're doing, instead of just talking openly about it. And if he's not ready, whatever the reason, then you need to respect that. Good luck!

lulubee85

He says he wants to be able to support us and be able to contribute more. I really do believe he is ready to be a dad, but I think he just has the idea in his head that he wants to be the main provider for his family. I respect that 100%! He enjoys his job and I don't want to see him go out and find a higher paying job and be unhappy!