Update**Lost support from family - Leaving DSs dad

bullybutt

I won't type out every single detail because, well, it's long..

We had an incident last night where he physically hurt one of my dogs and put his hands on me (while I was holding DS who was freaking the F out after seeing him hurt Noah).  I told him that we were gone and that my shit would be packed up this weekend. He tried to act like nothing happened and sat on his ass like he always does when we are at home. 

I told my mom and sister that I was moving out and said that I would need help moving and for someone to watch Reid.   My sister texted and asked "why, what happened".  I told her...::crickets:: and still no response from her.  My mom asked me to call her and I told her I would call when I could.  When I finally spoke to her, she just sighed and said that she had prior obligations to watch my niece tomorrow, but if i wanted to bring Reid over, she would watch him to.  She said (in an annoyed voice) that she didn't know what else to tell me and I said "don't say anything, I don't want to hear it".  SHe thinks that we need to pray about it, that I need to work it out with him and be all kumbaya about it.  I seriously think REALLY ugly thoughts about "SO".  I can't stand to be around him, see him, or hear his stupid voice.  I am DONE!  Thankfully I have a friend who is going to let me stay at her house about 40 minutes away until I can figure out what Im going to do. 

I'm pissed at my family.  I don't want to even "bother" them with having them watch Reid so that I can move out.  But I dont have a lot of options.  I just want to say stay the F away from me until I'm done with all of this and then when you can support me like a family should, then I'll come back around. I just needed to get this off my chest. 

cuntasaurusrex

Good for you for standing up for yourself and getting the F out of there.  If I lived even remotely close I'd offer to take him for the entire weekend to help.

Are your mom and sister familiar with your problems with him in the past?

TwizzyG

I am so sorry you are going through this! But I think you made the right choice and I admire your strength for doing it! It's just not healthy for you or your family to be in that environment. Good Luck!!! Thoughts and prayers with you!

TurtleMonsters

I'm so sorry! I'd use them for what they are worth and worry about their details later, just focus on you and family. I know a couple of ppl who have just done excactly the same, final straw and leaving with children asap. You have so much strength, and you're doing the right thing (as opposed to prayer). Good luck with getting through it all.

INmommy871278

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can't believe how your family reacted, seriously pray! I'm all for attempting to work things out, but if DH ever laid a hand on me or our kids I am gone and my family would be there to back me up. If you need it, you can call the non emergent police line and request an officer be on the property while you get your things from the house in case he is there and tries to cause problems. Hole things go smoothly for you this weekend and you get all your things out without a scene. Creepy internet ((hugs)).

tourqeyes

I think you are reacting appropriately and am very sorry this is happening to you. I wish you the best!

Ylvelill

Sorry you are going though this, keep yourself and your son safe. You made the right choice to leave, safety comes first. Family can be a pain, as pp said get the help you can from them but don't expect anything, maybe they will come around.

tealowl

I'm sorry you are going through this, but getting out of that situation is going to be the best thing for you. I had to leave my H a couple years ago (emotional/verbal abuse) and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Take care and keep us posted. You can do this!

runrinserepeat

I'm so sorry your family isn't being supportive, but you're absolutely doing what's best. ((hugs))

TRS48

You know what's best for you and your son and you are definitely doing the right thing. Don't worry about your family's reactions, I've learned sometimes family can really be a let down and you have to be your own support system at times, although it sucks it's all you can do. You are a GREAT mom for doing this for you & your son, and that is what's most important. If there's anything we can do to help please let us know. Praying all goes well

honeybee434

It amazes me how many people have a "stick your head in the sand and everything will be okay" mentality when it comes to things like this. I'm so sorry you're dealing with your families reaction in this way, but so happy that you are standing up and taking action for you and your DS!

Jbosarge85

Good for you for getting out. I'm sorry your family isn't there for you and being supportive. Hopefully they come around but if not you're doing what is best for you and your kids.

mamaloaf

I'm sorry that you're going through this situation, but I'm proud of you for being so strong and standing up for yourself and the way you deserve to be treated. Keep your chin up and take care of yourself and your little ones. I've been there and leaving a verbally/physically abusive person you love is hard. 

kmawb

I second the idea to have someone else there when you go to pack up your stuff this weekend be it a cop or just a friend.  There are just too many news stories out there of abusive SO getting violent when the abused person tried to extract thenselves from the situation because of the finality of it and things getting very tragic very quickly.

 

ETA: Forgot the most important part of the post - So sorry you are going through this sweetie!  Stay strong and be sure to keep you (and your unborn LO), your DS, and your dogs safe no matter what.

AutumnBonfire

Good luck. Stay strong!

andyandrachel

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hopefully your family will come around sooner than later. You are doing the right thing for yourself and your kids.

ichamommy

I don't know what else to say except that I'm going thru a divorce right now while pregnant with our first and my T&P are with you.

lizzybeth13

I'm very sorry you're having to go through this.  I was in an emotionally and then finally physically abusive relationship for four years, so I know how hard it is to deal with and to make the decision to leave.  I'm so glad you are choosing the safety and happiness of yourself and your LOs over staying.  I do believe there is power in prayer, but right now my prayers will be that you get out safely and that you and your LOs will be safe away from your "SO".  I hope your family quickly realizes the error of their ways.  Until then, you have the support of this board (even though we are all very far away!)

bchildrn

I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are definitely doing the right thing. It is never ok for someone to put his hands on you. Good for you for keeping yourself and your LOs safe.

katnipeverclean

I am so so sorry you have to go through this. However, I commend you for sticking up for yourself, your son and your dogs and getting yourself out of what sounds to be a bad, and getting worse, situation.

Stay strong, we are all here for you.

SuperKim13

(((HUGS)))  No matter what, remember that you are doing this for the best interest of yourself and your children.  I know that this has been a bit of a long time coming and it is not going to be easy, especially without the support of your family (shame on them).

You are right to leave.  Stay strong.  I'm sorry that this is so difficult.  My thoughts are with you!!

beff12

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and that your family is so unsupportive, but I totally commend you for keeping your family safe! You are doing what's best for you and your son and pup and I hope that your family comes around. Be safe and take care of yourself!

cookieinva

I am so sorry and sending you hugs, strength, and support. I am sorry your family is not more supportive; only you know what is best for you and your son and from where I sit it sounds like you made the right decision.

Skeemer

((hugs))

You, your child & your dog deserve so much better than to be physically touched in anger in any way & for any reason. I'm so very sorry that happened to you & I'm also very sorry that your family isn't supporting you. You absolutely do not have to live in that & you have to keep your family safe. I really hope everything works out for you & that you find some IRL support. You know we have your back here!

drunkenhandstand

I'm so sorry you're not getting the support you need from your family right now! That just breaks my heart. I will tell you that I am a firm believer in prayer as well and I do think praying is one of the best things you can do right now. However I do think you are making the best decision to leave and protect you and your baby! You and your baby safety should come first and I'm so sad that your mom and sister aren't seeing that! We are all here to listen if you need to vent!! My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

knitsandgiggles

You are doing what is best for you and your children. I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive in this of time of need. Take what you can get from them at this point. How annoying. On top of everything you are dealing with, it is remarkable how apathetic they appear. I'm glad your friend is stepping up and letting you stay with her until things get more sorted out.

I don't know where you live, but I would totally be there to help if we are at all close to one another!

Keeping you in my thoughts.

lindslalala

I hope they come around and have your back. Good for you for doing the right thing for you and your son even if it's hard.

abunai523

How completely horrible! First that you're in this situation at all, then to not get the support from family that you deserve? It's wrong. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I am really impressed that you're able to do what's right and safe for you and your son. Good luck, I hope your family comes around!

Lola825

I am so proud of you for gathering the strength to leave. I have been worrying about you since you told us about your SO. Also I am so sorry to hear that your family is not being supportive of you right now, now is when you need them most. Just remember, like everyone has said, this is truly the best decision for you, your DS, your LO coming and your pets. (I hope your puppy is ok...). We are all here for support in any way we can through this process. Stay strong love, you are making the right decision!

emy730

What kind of a piece of shit hurts the mother of his child and an animal in the same instance? 

You are absolutely doing the right thing in this situation and I am so sorry that your family does not see it that way. Good luck getting yourself moved out; I hope that he just leaves you alone and doesn't try to interfere with you moving. 

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. 

allardr

Sorry about your family, that does suck. Tell your Mom, you can pray from afar...in a SAFE place! GL and stay strong. 

purpleXdandelion

So proud of you for getting out and relieved that you have a friend you can stay with! It is sad when you see women in lousy situations like this that won't leave their SO. So good for you!! However, it's very unfortunate your family isn't being there for you in this very hard time. I also think it's wise to have a friend there as you pack and leave.

I promise that not everyone who believes in God/prayer has a close-their-eyes-and-plug-their-ears-lalalalala mentality. I am a firm believer in prayer and see that you need to get out and keep yourself, Reid and this LO safe. As would most any believer I know.

Hang in there mama and know how strong you are for leaving that loser. ((((Hugs))))

shamyfowler

Oh I'm so sorry for everything you are dealing with right now. You are making the best decision for you and your family. You really are. Please stay safe and seek help elsewhere. Sounds like you have a good friend helping you out. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

AKbadwolf

I am sorry you are going through this.  It is hard and having to do it without family support is even worse.  I hope your family realizes soon that what they are doing is wrong and steps in to help.  Good for you for taking steps to protect your family.

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mrscurlygurl

Ugh. I am so sorry two people who should support you unconditionally are reacting this way. You are doing what is best for you and your TWO children so don't waste a moment's worry or stress over anyone else. Do you have any friends who might be able to act like better family than your family is? Good luck sweetie! Vent to us whenever you need to, no matter how long the story is. 

sparkleboot

I am really, really sorry you're going through this right now and I commend you for putting your foot down and removing yourself from an unsafe situation even when no one else seems to understand. I hope your family gets their heads out of their asses and give you the support you need and deserve. 

krdesi

Wow! What an awful thing to be dealing with, especially while pregnant!

Sorry your family is being unsupportive...I hope that they realize how ridiculous they are being and see that you are in need of help right now!

Good luck and I am glad you are sticking up for yourself and your babies (furbabies included)!

helloblueeyes

That is an awful situation to be in, i'm so so sorry you are going through all of this. I'm really glad that you are getting out though, and being so very strong about everything. That sucks so much about your family, i have seen how awful it is to have a family like that and it breaks my heart that you have to deal with them as well as everything else.  

Knbh

After my ex-husband sexually assaulted me, I was in a state of shock and told my mom. My mom told me that, "all husbands hurt their wives sometimes." I ended up staying FOR YEARS. Finally I realized that I'd rather drive into oncoming traffic than live my life anymore. I left him and my family supported him and felt sorry for him. My parents to this day talk to him, but that's ok because he's out of my life.

It was a long painful road with lots of counseling, but I wish I would've left after he hurt me that night. I have no doubt that it'll be a long road for you, and the pain and guilt given to you by your family can be crushing, however you WILL get through this and reach the other side to a life where you don't have to dread coming home. Not worry what kind of crap he'll pull. Not have to fake smiles. Not have to smell him in your bed. Not have to touch his things... The list goes on and on. I promise you that things will get better.

I hope that you'll speak to a counselor, and if money is an issue, there are a lot of programs that allow for sliding scales. That was something I wish I would've done right away.

I know you don't know me, but if you want to PM me, don't hesitate. It's horrible not having someone in your corner.

You, your babies, and your pet are in my thoughts and in my prayers. I wish you peace and all the joy that this new chapter of your life has in store for you.

Amores0121

I'm sorry you're going through this without the support of your family. I'm so glad your friend can help you out at the moment.  You are doing the right thing!! Stay strong, and good luck! I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible.