DH and I had the divorce talk.

wino2006

We agreed to sleep on it tonight, but it seems divorce is where it's headed. Our marriage has been bad for a long time. It seems beyond repair. It sucks. I feel so bad for our girls

Rae1105

I'm sorry :-(

PrimRoseMama

I'm sorry you are going through this.

ThePolishHammer

I'm sorry.

SoDoMojo

That sucks. So sorry.

wino2006

mbenit4 said:

Have you tried counseling?

We haven't yet. I have pushed for counseling, but he is hesitant. He thinks nothing will change. He agreed to sleep on it before making a decision. We were very honest with each other. We have talked about how bad it is before but we always say we are going to change and never do-or at least not permanently. This was the first time we really talked about getting a divorce-how we would do it, custody etc.

BluepointToasted

Sorry. Hope you guys can find peace in whatever you decide.

Ratpasta

thats horrible news.... im sorry to hear it.  i hope that somehow you two can work it out

Pearls+Oysters

I'm so sorry...

RondackHiker

I'm so sorry.

Speshul

I'm sorry!

ppants

 I wish you the best going forward ((hugs))

angelashly

So sorry. I hope you can try counseling if that's what you want to do.

Unknown

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LovestheLou

I'm so sorry.  I hope it works out for the best.

ASmallWonder

wino2006 said:

mbenit4 said:

Have you tried counseling?

We haven't yet. I have pushed for counseling, but he is hesitant. He thinks nothing will change. He agreed to sleep on it before making a decision. We were very honest with each other. We have talked about how bad it is before but we always say we are going to change and never do-or at least not permanently. This was the first time we really talked about getting a divorce-how we would do it, custody etc.

I'm sorry  Maybe pose it to him this way - if you guys try counseling and nothing changes, all he'd lose is a little time.  The potential to gain even a little positivity outweighs the very small loss of the time you guys would put into the effort, you know?  Even if nothing changes that is able to save your marriage, it could just help you navigate the feelings around a divorce, the impact on your kids and guide you in co-parenting.  Hugs.

studyinpink

So sorry.

shadypines

Best of luck on either decision you guys make....

RayRay007

elmoali said:

wino2006 said:

mbenit4 said:

Have you tried counseling?

We haven't yet. I have pushed for counseling, but he is hesitant. He thinks nothing will change. He agreed to sleep on it before making a decision. We were very honest with each other. We have talked about how bad it is before but we always say we are going to change and never do-or at least not permanently. This was the first time we really talked about getting a divorce-how we would do it, custody etc.

I'm sorry  Maybe pose it to him this way - if you guys try counseling and nothing changes, all he'd lose is a little time.  The potential to gain even a little positivity outweighs the very small loss of the time you guys would put into the effort, you know?  Even if nothing changes that is able to save your marriage, it could just help you navigate the feelings around a divorce, the impact on your kids and guide you in co-parenting.  Hugs.

I'm so sorry. I agree with the above. You should give counselling a shot. If it doesn't help your marriage, it will help you through the divorce. It sounds like you both are being fairly mature about it, having a real hard conversation. I hope whatever happens, you find happiness. 

LaurelBee

Hugs mama. I hope your communication stays good through it all. I'm sorry

LoveActually4

I'm sorry. We're here if you need to vent!

msdrdg

I'm sorry.

Eleventy11

I'm so sorry. As PP said, even if therapy doesn't save your marriage, it might help the divorce process. Hugs to you.

MrsWindyCity

I'm sorry.

Helenahhandbasket

I am sorry.

We have been having the same talk for a few months.  I think if we were in a better financial situation, we would have pulled the trigger.

I think your girls will be fine.  It's going to be tough for a while, but if you guys can stay civil that will be half the battle.  GL to you.

wiggyslilsis

I'm sorry *Hugs*

I agree that counseling may be a good idea either way. It may help your marriage improve or it may help you navigate through the divorce either way it could be helpful.

jellybean529

RayRay007 said:

elmoali said:

wino2006 said:

mbenit4 said:

Have you tried counseling?

We haven't yet. I have pushed for counseling, but he is hesitant. He thinks nothing will change. He agreed to sleep on it before making a decision. We were very honest with each other. We have talked about how bad it is before but we always say we are going to change and never do-or at least not permanently. This was the first time we really talked about getting a divorce-how we would do it, custody etc.

I'm sorry  Maybe pose it to him this way - if you guys try counseling and nothing changes, all he'd lose is a little time.  The potential to gain even a little positivity outweighs the very small loss of the time you guys would put into the effort, you know?  Even if nothing changes that is able to save your marriage, it could just help you navigate the feelings around a divorce, the impact on your kids and guide you in co-parenting.  Hugs.

I'm so sorry. I agree with the above. You should give counselling a shot. If it doesn't help your marriage, it will help you through the divorce. It sounds like you both are being fairly mature about it, having a real hard conversation. I hope whatever happens, you find happiness. 

I'm gonna agree with this as well. XH and I are going through a divorce now. He decided right off the bat that he just wanted out, he didn't want counseling and refused to go, but now he's seeing what he lost and regretting it. I think counseling could have saved our marriage, in spite of all the problems we had.

So very sorry for what you're going through. Everything will be okay, no matter what happens. It may not always seem like it, but it will.

wino2006

Thank you all for the support. It really means a lot. DH and I had a heart to heart tonight. Shit got real for us and when we both saw the reality of divorce, we decided this is worth the effort to see if we can save our marriage. It's going to take hard work, but we are committed to doing this. Our girls deserve it. We are giving it another shot. It's amazing what being pushed to the brink will do to a marriage. My parents just finalized their divorce 2 days ago after 35 years so this hits a little too close to home. I don't want to end up in their shoes 25 years from now so it's now or never for us. Thank you for the kind words.

BluepointToasted

Glad to hear this wino.

Whenigrowup

I hope it works out and possibly that you guys could give counseling a try. Hoping for good things for you!

Whenigrowup

I think serious talks like that, when you're calm, can be really productive. Dh and I recently had one. No one said the d word, but we both named something that is the root of some ongoing conversations and arguments that we are not willing to deal with for the rest of our lives. It's only been a few weeks, but keeping in mind how much of the day to day bickering boils down to these two (fixable) things has really been helpful. Wino, I'm sorry that you guys got to the point that you did. I hope something positive comes out of it,

Breakfast4dinner

I'm so sorry. I hope that whatever happens puts you in a place where you are eventually happy.