another MIL vent, small one.

jaysears

My good friend wanted to throw me a little "sprinkle" (I gave her one in Sept for her 2nd, just some girlfriends having a little brunch in my backyard) I felt bad because now that she has 2 little ones (almost 3 yr old and 4mo old)i thought  that it would be too much on her plate So I suggested we go to this really cool coffee shop that I like and try to reserve their back room, have some coffee/pastries and maybe I could plan a little mom craft for us to all do.  We had this all arranged and got the evite out, later to find out that they no longer let ppl use that room.  So we updated the evite to location=TBD knowing that it probably was going to be at someone's house, I invited a couple more ppl than my original list of 6. The shower invite was sent out about a month ago and it's set for end of Feb, I get an email from MIL saying " Did you invite husbands god mother?"  Which is pretty much her best friend.  Que eyeroll, um no I didn't because 1. It was only just going to be a couple girlfriends and 2. I see her maybe 1x per year when MIL tries to combine 3 of our birthdays on one night. So what I said was no I didn't but it wasn't intentional, originally  the shower/sprinkle was only going to be about 6 of us, if you send me her email and I will add her to the evite. 

This was her email back: email info, your list sure grew from 6, should be nice, thanks love mom.

I realize that I am super sensitive right now, but that seemed really bitchy.

SuperMom17

I wouldn't take it as bitchy actually... Not to sound snarky because I truly am not trying to be, it I think you are overreacting. She didn't say, "Geez, way to not include my friend on purpose you little bitch." She just said your list grew. Which it did.

jaysears

I know I am being  sensitive, she makes comments to me all the time, so I guess this one just blew the top off for me. Thanks for the replies. 

erind0213

I am apart of a police auxiliary, and they wanted to throw me a shower, I asked that it be a sprinkle and low key. They wanted to invite friends and family, and I said no. Just keep it to the members of the auxiliary, and then they wanted to invite my mom.

My mom is old school, and doesn't go for the more then 1 shower/sprinkle with consecutive pregnancies, and without the shower will still spoil me, and baby, and of course DD. It's not like we won't get anything from her. Plus if my mom is invited, DH's would have to be too, in addition to who the hell else knows from his family, so i squashed that and kept it to just my auxiliary members.

jaysears

Well this isn't a typical shower, it's just a get together with some of my mom friends, I don't need anything (and I haven't asked) I agreed to the sprinkle because I  wanted a last chance hang out before the baby comes.  We are having some snacks and decorating some sugar cookies. 

 

JuneMrs

I think it's nice you are getting a chance to get together with your girlfriends before the baby! Girls don't get to do things like that much after they have kiddos to care for :-) If you have the same difficult relationship that I do with my MIL that would have been a totally snarky remark. You know your relationship with her so if it was I'd just think it sucks for her to have a bad attitude and forget it was even said. Enjoy your fun day with the girls :-)

RebeccaY1

To be honest, I don't understand why you are so involved in planning your own sprinkle.  If someone offers to do it, then let them worry about the guest list, location, and making the invitations.  One of the best things about someone throwing a party for you is that all you have to do is show up.

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karen_79

What's tacky about offering to help your buddies when you are worried They're overwhelmed. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. If you think it's tacky then don't do it, but go be judgy somewhere else. 

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MadBloom

Seemed a little passive aggressive to me. And I see nothing wrong with helping your friend out with planning a little get together. Sounds like fun and if it had been me then I would have left it at friends only and not bothered with the grandmas! If she wants to plan something with her friend invited and some family then by all means, let her.

nunzchucks

@karen_79 Please check your PMs.

PrimRoseMama

karen_79 said:

What's tacky about offering to help your buddies when you are worried They're overwhelmed. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. If you think it's tacky then don't do it, but go be judgy somewhere else. 

Don't tell me what to do. I post as I please. By the way, this little shit-fit is not very nice. So, by your own rules you shouldn't have posted it right?

rachelsholiday

jaysears said:

I know I am being  sensitive, she makes comments to me all the time, so I guess this one just blew the top off for me. Thanks for the replies. 

I know how you feel, my MIL makes these little comments to me all the time. By themselves they're nothing, but they definitely build up over time.