It's been a rough couple of weeks. Anna's been teething and the somewhat normal sleep I was getting is no more. She also vomited this morning after days of fussiness, so perhaps I accidentally ate something with soy earlier in the week. Ugh.
More than that, I am just so sad about her development. I try hard to focus on small improvements, but she had 16 therapy appointments in January and she still can't push up on her hands, roll, sit up, or hold anything in her left hand. This week I've finally come to the realization that it will be many, many months or even years until she walks, if ever. I am just feeling really low. Last night I found myself wishing she were never born. To be fair, it's because I wished she were my first daughter, Patricia. If Patricia were alive, Anna probably wouldn't have been born. But it still got to me because I always wish Patricia were here but rarely wish Anna were not.
DH and I are not doing well. It's just too much. He is a stay at home dad as well as full-time student, and two weeks into the semester we are already burned out. Thankfully my job is not too stressful, although I am nowhere near satisfied with my career. It all just seems so pointless right now.