Too many showers?

adventurebarbie

I hate to even complain, this is like First World Problems to the max, but how many showers (for my first baby) is to many?

A little back story.  I have a huge family.  DH has a huge family.  His parents are divorced and his mom is remarried, my parents are divorced and both remarried (if you're doing the math that is 7 parents between the two of us). 

His sister-in-law (his little brother's wife) is also pregnant.  My MIL has sweetly offered to throw a "dual-shower" in our hometown.

My little sister wants to throw me a shower, and my mom's two sisters wanted to throw a shower, so they have all teamed up and are throwing me a shower in the town where I live now.

My office is throwing me a little, intimate coworker shower.

And today, my step-mom texted and said she wants to throw me a shower (mostly for her friends and my dad's side of the family, they all live relatively close together and far from the other shower locations).

I have started color coding my invite list so I know who I am planning on inviting to which shower, and to ensure that nobody gets more than one invite.  But seriously, this is getting out of hand, am I right?  I feel like telling anyone no would be awkward nad would result in hurt feelings.

1. MIL - these are her first grandkids, our baby & SILs baby...
2. Sister & aunts - They have already started with arrangements, set a date, and they would have farther to travel to either attend a dual-shower or a very awkward shower with my stepmom
3. My stepmom - if I tell her no, she will either have to travel about 8 hours along with my dad's whole side of the family to my MIL's shower, or travel about 4 hours to hang out at my mom's house which would be awkward...

I guess my question is, WWBSBD?  (What would Baby Shower Board do?)

sschwege

I think as long as you are not inviting the same people it's fine.  The only problem I see is the party your step-mom is planning to host, I mean do you even know your step-mom's friends?  That seems pretty far removed to me.  

jbelle

As I guest, I'd much prefer to attend a shower with 10-15 people in attendance as opposed to 60. It seems far more logical to have more showers with fewer guests from the perspective of the host(s), guests, and even for your sake (fewer gifts to open at once, shorter span sitting in one spot, shorter overall event time). 

Small, more frequent showers were the norm in my family until recent years when the mega shower seems to have overtaken. I have heard the refrain "it seems excessive to have more than one shower," and I don't understand. To me, an event with 40-60 people sounds far more excessive than having several, smaller, more easily managed (and thus more casual) events. 

I definitely think this is a YMMV scenario, though, as sometimes one big family event makes it easier on the majority. And perhaps the travel is too much for your schedule, even if you weren't pregnant! DIfferent strokes for different folks.

But my vote is increased frequency is preferable to increased size.

MamaLlama14

Agreed with PPs- as long as the guest lists don't overlap you're good.  My mom would want to attend every shower, but outside of mom/sister, keep them separate and actually no one will even know how many showers you've had except for you.

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74dragonfly

Enjoy it! I had four showers with my first. One out of town in my old hometown, one in my New town, and two surpises. As long as guest lists don't over lap I think it is much better to have more showers vs a mega big shower.

lizztheo

I had three showers and it worked out better that way because all the hosts wanted to do things their way. I will say though it was incredibly exhausting to have three showers and I believe mine were three weekends in a row (or at least three in a month). I would definitely encourage spacing them as much as possible so you don't feel baby-showered-out with them all close together.

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graciesmurf

I agree with the point about smaller headcounts.  I hate packed showers where I don't have time to mingle with the MTB, and my gift gets ripped open and tossed aside quickly.

ashleymarie1027

I'm in a similar boat, but for different reasons - visiting my hometown requires a plane ride (shower #1); visiting DHs home town is a 5hour drive (shower #2); and then my local friends where we live now offered to throw one (shower #3).

In my case, nobody but me will be at more than one of these, so I said yes to all. Plus we had a really small wedding with no showers (due to above mentioned geographical challenges), and I think some family members are really looking forward to sharing this celebration. my plan is to just go along with a smile and be thankful.

Meganz927

Girl I'm in the same damn position!!! 8 parents between DH and I, I'm only 9 weeks and 4 days preggo, its out first baby on my side and the last baby of the grandkids on my DH's side, already my MIL wants to throw a shower, my mother and sis and I havnt even told the fathers yet I'm preggo. It's too damn soon and it's already freaking me out. But I like your idea on invites to certain showers. So annoying, and so much work, but I guess we shouldn't complain. I wish I could just have one big one and it be over with. The thought of going to all makes my head hurt, I hate being the center of attention.