Time Passed Waiting

AprilDrew04

I was thinking about this the other day. We waited over 3 years before conceiving DD and will be have spent at least 4 years waiting by the time we conceive another. I used to think it would be insane to wait 10 years or more for a baby, but having spent nearly 7 years total to grow our family, I can see how it could happen a little clearer now. So my question is how long have you been waiting? How do you deal with the wait?

AprilDrew04

As I said we've waited 3 plus 4 for a total of 7 years. I deal by making plans. I plan for a future baby, and it plan for other ways to grow our family. I need to have a plan of action or I go crazy. Right now, we are waiting to see how DH reacts to clomid and whether he will have another vericocele repaired, but if that doesn't work for us I am planning on adoption (in my head).

pettycrocker

So DD was a BC fluke, now we're going on 2 years trying for #2, a bunch of Clomid cycles, IUI, and 2 IVFs under my belt, so the time frame might not seem that long, but with all I've gone through it feels like 10 fucking years. 

Some days I just want to give up, other days I cry when I see my toddler begging the dog to play with her, and I know she really needs a sibling. I'm doing all this shit for my kid, otherwise I would have said screw this shit long ago. 

Sorry for the ragevent, I'm currently going through a C/P from IVF #2, and I'm feeling pissy about life in general. 

annibes

2 cycles for DS + 43 (including this one) psychles trying for # 2 = almost 4 years for us. The number of years trying is not what gets me as much as my overall timeline being shot. We started TTC when I was 24 in hopes that we would have enough time to have our 3 kids and be done by the time I was 30 and DH was 40. Well we're at 30 and 40 now and had to decide between being done and trying for a few more years. DH is willing to go to 45 but no later, and I get that. So the most we can try total is about 9 years.

KC1212

Well, thankfully we started trying to conceive on our honeymoon ">

But it took 4 years of trying for my son.

We started trying for #2 last may (so almost a year ago) we got pregnant in October - that was chemical and i lost it early November, we got pregnant in November, that was tubal and I found out in January and had surgery. Now I'm benched 2 cycles. So I probably won't be off the bench til march.

Jen071407

I'm very lucky to have not had problems conceiving with my DDs, but here we are at 2 years 4 months trying for our 3rd. Thankfully we started youngish- I was 24 when DD1 was born - but my plans to have 4 kids by 30 did not happen. There is now at least 4 years between DD2 and the next LO if this IVF cycle works. We are willing to do a FET if that is necessary and an option, otherwise we will be calling it quits. That the end, whatever that may be, is in sight is the only thing that keeps me going.

cerad5

@mrs castillo, I am so sorry, hugs mama

We were going to start trying in 2011, I needed some time because I had PPD with DD. But then DH was laid off and we thought it would be better to put of trying until 2012 when our finances were better. So May 2012 I went off the pill. Going on almost two years? When I am in my dark and twisty places in my mind I get really upset about waiting that extra year to try, or waiting at all really. Had we started sooner, maybe we would have another baby now? Ever since my loss in November poor DD keeps talking about how she wants to be a big sister. It sucks. It stings. I was 10 weeks with three ultrasounds showing strong heartbeat. So we had told her. If we are ever blessed to have another baby we are surely waiting to tell DD because it's been rough on her, much more than I thought it would be.

 

Jeffreysmom24

Mrs C - so sorry you are going through that. I am keeping you in my thoughts.

DH and I got married late but luckily conceived Jeffrey right away without any problems. We have been trying for no 2 since November 2012. My heart hurts to think about Jeffrey not having any siblings. I just wish so much that things could be different. I turned 40 in September and so we don't have alot of time left for it to happen. Plus, apparently I ovulate super early without medication (which decreases the chances of maintaining a pregnancy bc the lining etc isn't right at that time). I might do another round of clomid before we try injectibles but we can't do ivf because everything is OOP.

Blackvelvet

We have over 7 years into growing our family now DS took 23 cycles I though that was for ever now I have 46 cycles in FF since after he was born and we are no closer to having our second.  We wanted three kids before I was 30 and now I will be 32 in less then a month.  I have no idea what the next step is but we are OOP for IVF and with all the money spent to fix DH and his cancer we are broke.  I'm hoping for good news Monday on all my testing other then the bad news on the low AMH/DOR

CeCe8579

6 years total and six angels. DD will be 7 and I will be 35 this year. I've had tons of testing and Clomid. No IUIs or IVFs because my RE won't even think about it until DH sees a urologist. We are starting our journey to adopt. Our CW is being great considering DH and I haven't been married for a year or more and I'm disabled. She still approved our application. We'll see what the stars hold for us. I'm struggling though.

Hugs to everyone!!!!

tuscanbride2007

We were lucky to get pregnant with DD#1 within 3 months. We waited to try for another when she was 2 1/2 because I did not think that I could handle 2u2. We conceived DD#2 in 6 cycles, but unfortunately she was a full term still born. DH and I decided that we would try as soon as possible for another. We have had 2 chemical pregnancies in just under 2 years. I think this will be our last year of trying because I will be 38 this year and think we are both leaning towards throwing in the towel. We have had a lot of tears on this journey, but are so thankful we have our little family.

jb2rn

Well, not long, only 8 cycles for our son, but we had gotten an IF diagnosis literally weeks prior to my BFP.

Going into TTC this time, it's obviously different, as my chances are poor, and I knew that going in.

It's been five cycles.

designer303

We tried for DS for 2.5 years and can now add 6 months of trying for #2.  For awhile (I never went back on BC after DS was born) we were all " lets just see what happens" Well we saw what happened, a big fat nothing, until finally it happened and then disapeared just a little while later... 

As far as how I deal, the first time around I became a nut job and it was all I could think about and it was BAD!!  This time around, I have been very conscious of how f*cking nutz I was the first time around and what a strain that put on my marriage and most things in my life.  So this time around I am doing my best to make concious decisions to not freak the f*ck out unless its really warranted.  Like last month, I freaked out all over the place and I derserved that.  I guess its more the little things that used result in full freak out mode that I have been trying to tone down my repsonses to.  Its hard, but I feel more in control.  I also keep very busy and try to think about the mechanics and emotions less and as someone on here said the other day I do hear myself chanting "just keep swimming".  We have been taking trips and making plans with friends to get out of the house and shift our focus to other happy things. 

Momarazzi007

I had typed up a whole other comment, but really, it boils down to 7 years waiting to complete our family so far. We keep ourselves busy with irl drama, there is a ton to go around! and trying not to squander precious time with DD. It is so easy to get caught up with infertility and depression- I don't want her to suffer. SO I double my efforts to play with her and do crafts and projects and silly time. A lot of trying to positive!

CheesyPeas

By comparison, not long at all.  Close to 2 years in total.  A miscarriage set me back while TTC #1 but I still got KU twice incredibly easy.  I never thought I would be here given how freaking easy it was to conceive the first time around.

AprilDrew04

Thank you all for sharing. I think the hardest thing to let go of is the idea of what I thought I would have and when. My mom had 5 kids by the time she was 28...so DH and I figured it wouldn't be a problem for us to have kids. We even waited a few years after getting married, many times I wish we hadn't. But every time I look at DD, I'd trade the waiting and struggles for her. Until recently she has been okay being an only, I do daycare so she isn't lacking in companionship. However, she is noticing that her friends all have babies, and wants one of her own. It's heartbreaking, I just tell her that Mommy and Daddy are trying to get her a baby. I'm getting to a point where I would be okay moving on to adoption, but DH isn't there yet. We still have a few more things to try, but the realization that there is going to be a 5 year age gap is hard. I grew up with siblings very close in age and wanted that for DD. I just have to trust that God has a plan, just wish I had a clue what that plan was.

Momarazzi007

I hear you, I was one of seven kids, and hubs had two older sisters conceived super earl and he was an oops child despite Bcp... So yeah, those years early on we thought it would happen fairly quickly? I get wishing we could take them back too! ((Hugs))