Biting at daycare

[Deleted User]

Hi all. I don't normally post here but I need some advice.
DS is biting the other kids at DC. I feel terrible for the other kids and parents. If I knew my baby was being hurt by another kid, I'd flip. But I don't know what I can do about it since I'm not there. He does occasionally bite me at home (he's an only child), and he gets a time out for that. He also gets time outs for hitting or throwing things at people or pets. DC does the same thing, so we are consistent in that respect. I've also tried reminding him before he goes to DC not to bite or hit, to be nice to his friends, and give them hugs and kisses instead of hitting or biting. The DCP always tells me when I pick him up if he's bitten or hit someone, and I talk about it with DS then too. This has been going on for a few weeks now. At first I thought he only did it when he was teething, because that's usually been when he bites me, but now I'm thinking maybe it's for attention or out of frustration.
I really think the only way to prevent the biting/hitting is for the DCPs to keep a close eye on him and intervene before it happens. I was also thinking of maybe sending a teether or something else for him to bite, and telling him to bite that instead of his friends, or to run away if he feels like biting. I don't know, he's only 22 months old. Any ideas about what else I can tell DC or what else I can do??
Thanks.

emberlee3

I would sit down with DCP teacher and director or AD to come up with a plan of action. 

Let DCP handle incidents that occur at daycare.  Don't ever mention it to your son when you pick him up or before school.  That draws even more attention to it, and may be subtly reinforcing the behavior. 

GreenMonkey1

Both my niece and nephew went through biting stages.  My sister made a "bite book" for each kid - just paper self-laminated and tied together.  The book had pictures of items to bite (kid's favorite food, teething ring, etc.) and items not to bite (mom, dad, dog, friends, etc.).  They read it twice a day at least, I read it if I was babysitting, etc.  This was recommended by her pediatrician and it seemed to help.

DC shadowing and identifying any specific triggers to help avoid the behavior is also a good idea.  It's not easy, but kids do grow out of this stage.

litzo27

First of all, I'm sorry! As hard as it is to have your child be bitten at daycare I actually think it's even harder to be the parent of the biter - I can imagine your frustration. I was about to suggest the same thing as @emberlee3 - you need to sit down and talk with your DCP about your plan. They need to actively shadow your child. If that means that he needs to sit on a chair next to a teacher while she is changing another child's diaper or preparing snacks, then so be it. Also they need to identify the triggers - is he biting when someone takes his toy, when he gets overly excited, when he is tired, etc. Once the triggers are identified you can discuss further the best approach. But for now shadow, shadow, shadow.

I have never heard of the book idea but it sounds neat, as does sending in a teething ring, maybe even a teething necklace he can wear. But I think those will be secondary to identifying when and why he bites and preventing those opportunities.

[Deleted User]

Thanks all, those are great ideas! This morning when I was telling him to be nice to his friends, he told me, "Hopey hit Weston". That's the girl he bit yesterday, and she has been known to instigate before. So obviously DC needs to keep an eye on those two! DH is talkin to them this morning and I will also tonight. I never thought about not drawing attention to the behavior. Thanks again!