New and need to vent

sophia225

Hey everyone! Im looking for a little advice about my situation.... My bf and i have been together for over 2years now and have a 9month old together. Before we were considering having a child he was the sweetest man you could date, we planned on getting married and having children once i finished college. Although it didnt exactly work out that way I still wouldnt change anything. I absolutely adore my LO. When we found out i was pregnant he was estatic, but soon after everything started to go down hill.... I just didnt want to believe it. He was never really involved in the pregnancy but with it being our first i just blew it off thinking that he was just nervous.  ( Yes i had blinders on....I see the red flags now). As i got bigger and closer to my due date he started to grow cold and unloving. Although it upset me, I still blew it off thinking everything would change once he saw our beautiful baby girl. Then finally the big day! I had a very difficult delivery and was rushed for emergency surgery soon after delivering my daughter...one of the most beautiful times in my life quickly became one of the scariest. But it was nice to know he was there for me and was being supportive. How quickly that changed… He changed the diapers 2x in the hospital and once at home. that is it. Ive raised my little girl from the beginning and plan on continuing to do so. I am a full time stay at home mom as of right now, i was let go from my job when i went on maternity and have not been able to find a decent one again since. So we rely soley on her father for her diapers, food etc... He recently took a job driving truck that requires him to be gone 24/7 traveling the US so now hes never home to see us. Because of this, its put an even bigger strain on our relationship and made things worse. Now because hes gone he thinks its alright to skip out on helping with her....so my LO and i had no choice but to move in with my parents until we can get back on our feet.

Im honestly considering filing for child support and full custody of my daughter...but have never been in a situation like this before and would love some feed back. Im sorry for the long rant. thank you so much for the help!

20thirteen

Wow... I'm not in your situation so I can't really give you any good advice.  That really sucks what he did and how he's treating you. Why were you let go from your job?  You might be able to sue if they let you go while you were on maternity leave.  Maternity leave is supposed to be able to keep your position at work safe while you're out taking care of a baby.  At least in the office world, I don't know about retail or other jobs.

I would file for child support and full custody.  This way, he'll have to start helping you out with your LO.  I will never understand people that walk away from their own flesh and blood. 

jellybean529

I'm so very sorry I would definitely file for child support and get a custody arrangement in place. I can't imagine not wanting to see his beautiful little girl. 

jdias428

I'm so sorry things have turned out that way. It sounds like you made the right decision with your move. And I agree, child support and custody seems like the best case scenario for your little one. 

sophia225

Since it was a small office i worked in with only a handful of employees, maternity leave wasnt something that was offered. My former boss was very understanding though and did tell me to take as much time as i had needed, i was planning to return after my 6week checkup but when i asked to go back i was told my title was already given to someone else. Although it sucked that I didnt have that pay check any longer, i loved being able to stay home with my baby longer. But i called a lawyer and have an appt set up to talk things over. Hopefully everything goes well! Im so nervous and sad that it has come to this. I really wish things turned out differently. Thanks everyone for the support

jdias428

Don't most states prohibit companies from doing that? Even if they're small?  That really sucks, but more time at home with LO is awesome. 

20thirteen

jdias428 said:

Don't most states prohibit companies from doing that? Even if they're small?  That really sucks, but more time at home with LO is awesome. 

I'm pretty sure they do.  When you talk to your attorney, be sure to bring this up and find out about what the laws are where you are.  I'm pretty sure most, if not all, states prohibit companies from denying maternity leave.

jellybean529

Under FMLA the company has to have 50 full time employees at the location to be required to follow the maternity leave guidelines -- or something like that. So if the company is small enough they don't have to, unfortunately. State guidelines may vary. I know here in FL the state doesn't mandate maternity leave but when I lived in MA they did.

20thirteen

That sucks

jdias428

ugh, that's terrible.