Wanting to Adopt

So, I know you probably get this question a lot but am hoping you could still take the time to share your experiences. I am coming over from the 2IF board. As a couple we are not ready to move toward adoption yet. I have always wanted to adopt and no matter what God has in store for us, I would still like to adopt. My question is for those of you who were ready to adopt before your spouse - what finally moved them to want to adopt also?

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DD conceived after 3 years of ttc.
MFI - DH had varicocele repair and took Clomid to get DD b. 02/2010

TTC #2 since 6/2010
10/2012 DH diagnosed with Epilepsy
A few failed IUIs summer 2012 and 2013. 
DH taking clomid and waiting to see if he needs another vericocele repair. 
Hoping for a 2015 baby or babies. 
Wishing, hoping, waiting.

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Re: Wanting to Adopt

  • Time and education. We were talking around it, more of an abstract thought than something concrete. I got a copy of Adoption for Dummies and read the whole thing. I was SO excited, but DH felt like I was pressuring him. We made a deal that I would back off, and he would participate in things like info sessions via webinars. It also helped to discuss what his particular hesitations were. In his case, he needed to process not having a biological connection to his child, and he was concerned about how invasive the home study process would be. Once he dealt with the bio connection, we had a long talk with 2 different agencies about the home study. He felt a LOT better after that.

    FWIW, it's pretty common that one spouse is ready before another. Give it time, and keep the lines of communication open.

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  • plus12012plus12012 member
    edited January 2014
    We went to an informational class at an adoption agency that I really liked. After he listened to everything they had to say he was really interested in learning more and just found himself getting excited about the idea. A few months later we moved forward with it.
    I also introduced him to some families that had adopted and I think that really helped as well.

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