How long are you willing to wait for placement?

arbutusbride

DH and I had a discussion a while back about how long we were willing to wait for placement versus throwing in the towel and being child free. Our HS is good for two years (I believe) and we have been in the waiting pool for 7 months. I believe that the odds will be in our favor of being placed before a new HS has to be done but what if it never happens? 

As much as I want to be a mom I don't know if I can wait around forever. Do you have a cut off point or do you plan to stick with it until you are placed? How did you decide?

We started TTC in spring of 2008, did the whole fertility doctor thing with disappointing results (4 M/Cs), and adoption is our final option.  I hope I don't come across as being cold or impatient but at some point a decision will have to be made.

maryoosa

Our cut off was going to be when my partner turned 45. Which is still 3 years away- and we've had our son home for 6 months today.

Chele

Everyone is different and you're entitled to feel as you do. We are committed to being parents and expect to become parents through foster care sooner or later. I would become frustrated in three years if that didn't happen by then, but as of right now at least, I believe I will leave room for it to happen with no deadline. Of course, I may feel differently in three years, but this is where I am right now. (And we got married in 2007 and were trying right away.)

Dr.Loretta

I think it would depend on what the stats are with the route we took. Our agency didn't have a set timeline, but the longest waiting family was 2 years. Their ratios were such that placements typically happened within 1 year, and they suggested tweaking our profiles if we didn't get any activity after 9 months.

Instead of setting a timeline to quit, we probably would have set a timeline where we would pursue additional avenues to adopt (additional agencies, private advertising, word of mouth, etc)

erinmc1

We waited 15 months total, but would have waited as long as it took. 

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