Vent and advice

tondraluv

My MIL watches Brayden on Monday's only.  Our family friend's daycare is actually available to watch him Monday but my MIL insisted she do it because she wanted to spend time with him.  This morning when I dropped him off she asked me if I could leave the car seat so she could take him to Reseda to buy a car. Reseda is about 40 minutes one way from MIL's house.  I told her that I did not feel comfortable with that because her old car has bad breaks (you can hear the metal screeching) & offered to swap cars with her.  She declined my offer & said she'll leave the baby with my SIL when she got off work (my SIL watches him Friday's) at 3p.  3:50p rolls around & I text SIL to tell her to feed him his food that I left.  SIL responds back saying that MIL just picked her up from work.  If SIL is at work & MIL is picking her up then who the fluck is watching my baby?  Basically she left B with my weed smoking BIL who doesn't/cant change diapers.  I am pissed off & very uncomfortable with that because 1) B gets rashes easily and 2) more importantly BIL is high all damn day.  I am very bitchy and have a nasty mouth so my question is: 1) how do I tell her that shit isn't cool & 2) B won't be coming over her house anymore on Monday's? 

I'm not worried about it sounding nice, i'm just worried about it sounding more pleasant then what I have in mind

pinottoparenthood

I feel like in this situation, you should just be honest. Say that you appreciate her offer to keep Brayden on Mondays, but it seems like it is becoming an inconvenience. I would also say that you're really NOT comfortable with the fact that you just left Brayden with someone else without even checking with you, and you feel like, for the time being, it's better to just take him to daycare. You guys can still visit her and spend time together, but you don't need her to babysit anymore while you are working.

JSS1002

pinottoparenthood said:

I feel like in this situation, you should just be honest. Say that you appreciate her offer to keep Brayden on Mondays, but it seems like it is becoming an inconvenience. I would also say that you're really NOT comfortable with the fact that you just left Brayden with someone else without even checking with you, and you feel like, for the time being, it's better to just take him to daycare. You guys can still visit her and spend time together, but you don't need her to babysit anymore while you are working.

Yeah, what Pinot said.  That's the truth-- and you're in the right here.

MrsHartman7

Any chance your husband will speak to her?  When I've got something that wont be well received to tell his family, I have DH do it, they tend to listen to him rather than just get resentful that its coming from an outsider...though of course you're not an outsider, but you know what i mean?

danuli8

pinottoparenthood said:

I feel like in this situation, you should just be honest. Say that you appreciate her offer to keep Brayden on Mondays, but it seems like it is becoming an inconvenience. I would also say that you're really NOT comfortable with the fact that you just left Brayden with someone else without even checking with you, and you feel like, for the time being, it's better to just take him to daycare. You guys can still visit her and spend time together, but you don't need her to babysit anymore while you are working.

Yes, this. This is perfect.

tondraluv

Thanks ladies, my husband was equally upset & like @MrsHartman7 suggested, he spoke to her. Her feelings were hurt and she was making up a lot of excuses like "it was only for two hours" and "BIL doesn't smoke around B". She expressed that she is upset because it's not our business that she allows BIL to smoke but it most certainly is my business who is caring for my son. I spoke with the daycare and B can start in March. My MIL asked if she could watch him until then but I might work from home for the next month because I am not really comfortable at the moment. I'll sleep on It & see how I feel in the morning. Thanks ladies for listening

JSS1002

If you can, I'd totally work from home.

I looooooooooooooooove the excuse "it isn't your business that I let BIL smoke."  Um, yes, actually, it is -- because it makes you (her) a TERRIBLE parent.