Getting ready to go to the hospital (child mentioned not mine)

Amazing817

I knew that this day would come and I have been preparing myself for it for the past 9 months. My husbands younger sister is in labor and we are getting ready to go to the hospital to wait with the grandparents. I have in the past nine months tried really hard to be so happy for them but sometimes it just really hurts especially when my MIL likes to tell me that one day our day will come too, not like I need a reminder. My SIL & BIL did go thru IVF but she chooses not to talk about it, although she knows that we are having issues. Maybe I just wish we could sorta "bond" over this in a weird sorta way, although our situations are different its something that we have in common. I think sometimes she wishes I wasn't married to her brother and that her family stayed nice and simple all along. No matter what I do or what hoops I jump thru I don't think I will ever be good enough for her. My husband tells me that it doesn't matter what his sister thinks of me but after 9 years of being together I thought would of been closer.

I am happy for her and my BIL, he is pretty terrific and really wanted to be a father so bad just like many our partners. I am not jealous just a little sad and I'm to get out all my sad tears now so it won't upset my husband, I want him to be there for his sister as they used to be close when they grew up.

In the long run I know that we are a fabulous aunt and uncle to all of our nieces and nephews and we are happy to have a new little bundle of joy in the family but deep down it just hurts a little.

Thank you for listening to me vent, time to get ready & head out.

jencity9

Ugh that is really difficult. I know sort of what you mean about being closer.. I have a future SIL who it seems weird that I'm not closer to and sometimes I wonder why. Wishing you peace while you are the hospital so you can enjoy your new niece/nephew to the best of your ability. (((Hugs)))

Amazing817

@AlaskaDee23 thanks for checking in, it was ok. Of course waiting overnight in a waiting room was long and just tiring but the whole experience was just was exhausting.
I saw literally a dozen mothers get wheeled in and about a dozen get wheeled out holding these beautiful bundles of joy as they were ushered to their rooms. It definitely hurt and made my heart very sad but I kept a brave face on and smiled.

Didn't really help that my MIL said multiple times outloud that we would be back here soon for "us" and that we just have to keep praying. I just smiled and was imagining my hands around her neck strangling her. I can pray all the way to the Vatican and it will never make a difference. Sometimes I am too practical, this is genetic and skill on our RE part, to me I can be 100% positive and pray all the time and it doesn't mean crap is going to happen for us. So I just smile. I know she means well but really not the time. I know I should be thankful that she is being supportive and not everyone knows what to say but sometimes its best just not to say anything at all.

I think when it came to seeing my SIL with the baby right after delivery I was happy for her and so happy to have a healthy nephew but it still just hurt.

Last night I also got a text at 3am that a friend of mine delivered her baby girl several weeks early and for the next five months we have a close friend/co-worker delivering each month so I really am trying to check my attitude and be happy for them. They are lovely friends and I know that they would wish I could be in their situation its not like they did anything to harm us, its just the cards that have been dealt.

Phewww.... I needed to get that out. Thanks again @AlaskaDee23!