pursuing options when IVF fails and your eggs are bad.

dreamingofdimples

I just found out that my two IVF banking cycles at CCRM failed. We got 4 embryos from the first IVF and 3 from the second. Only 2 embryos made it to blastocyst and CCS testing. They were both abnormal. It's devastating to have spent over $50k for nothing. Nothing to transfer. 

I'm grieving the loss of ever having my own biological child but considering other options. Does anyone have any recommendations for blogs or websites about egg donation? I'm not sure if it's the right path for us but need to do some research. 

Twinkie0612

Have you tried the 3rd party reproduction board?  I started lurking and introed over there when I thought we would be moving on to DE or embryo adoption.  We ended up trying one last cycle with my eggs.

poohniki

I'm so, so sorry that you did not have luck with your last 2 cycles. My clinic posted this article. There is a link to creating a family and in the podcast (if you choose to listen to the whole thing) they reference what some of the other information is that you can find through that site. I found it very helpful. I am not yet at the grieving point- I have 2 IUIs with donor sperm planned before I pursue donor eggs. I thought it was too difficult to try with my eggs and DH's sperm to go straight to donor egg/donor sperm. Just wondering- has your DH been karyotyped? It may be worth looking into before moving on to the next step.

(huge hugs)  Also, the 3rd party board is really great. You should intro there if you haven't already. 

dreamingofdimples

@poohniki no, he hasn't. what is karotyping and what is it used for?

poohniki

Karyotyping would look to see if there is something chromosomally abnormal that could be passed onto the embryos. It could be that you and your DH were both carriers for something and it could lead to having a higher than average amount of abnormal embryos. (It's kind of similar to the CCS testing- but for the parents)

Mrs.McIrish

Just barging in to say I'm sure CCRM karotyped your DH. It's standard for them to check it.

poohniki

@Mrs.McIrish I was thinking the same thing. 

Ihope

I spoke to my re and while I am still pursuing ivf with pgd, they also referred me to some agencies they recommend for donor eggs. Exploring this option concurrently so if and when ivf is totally out, I already have a head start at plan b. once you connect to each agency you will be given a password that allows you to view profiles etc...

RunCC37

I'm so sorry to hear this, and will have you in my thoughts & prayers as you get through this difficult loss. I was going to recommend @liz4paws's blog too. She's an excellent writer and an advocate for embryo adoption. She has a tab with FAQs about embryo adoption, a valuable resource. As a PP mentioned, she's currently pregnant with her miracle snowflake (adopted embryo), so bear that in mind as you check out her blog (incase you're having a sensitive day). ((Hugs))

liz4paws

********************************PAIF WARNING***************************

Biggest hugs to you!!! I am so sorry for what you are going through. I also recommend the Third Party board, but there is also a secret Facebook group for DE if you're interested in joining that as well. Just reach out to me and I'll help however I can. Again, biggest hugs.

violetmarie61516

Im so sorry you are going through this. We are in the same boat right now. We were never able to get to retrieval so fortunately we are not out near as much as you are financially. This is truly the hardest thing I've ever had to grieve. I to want to move forward with the next steps but we are caught up in the shock of it all still. I do have a few resources for both donor egg and donor embryo that I've started looking into if you'd like to pm me I can share. Liz4paws is a wonderful resource as well for donor embryos. I hope you are able to find some peace will you grieve. Again im so sorry.

ksgsmu

I am in the same boat you are in... After 2 years of testing,  failed cycles, losses, and a boat load of money etc... we have decided to move forward with donor eggs.  My RE recommended it a year ago and I just wasn't ready.  I needed to try everything I could with my own eggs.  I also needed time to accept that I might not be able to have a genetic child and grieve.  After this last failed/cancelled ivf cycle I was finally ready to move on.  While I was interested in donor embryos my husband just wasn't on the same page.  I think embryo adoption is an AMAZING option but he feels strongly about his genetic connection.  I think genes are now overrated but I understand his feelings.  My RE works with 3 agencies that do egg donations.  We looked at all 3 databases of donors and quickly felt comfortable with one particular agency and found a donor really fast. I was shocked how fast to be honest!  We start cycling in a couple of weeks! (eek). 

Good luck in whatever you decide... I know for me it took a lot of research and time to grieve before I was able to move forward.  If you have any questions you can always PM me.... good luck!

dreamingofdimples

Thank you so much everyone! These boards have been so welcoming and so much great info. I actually do follow @liz4paws blog and she's a wonderful resource. But @ksgsmu I think my DH prefers to hold onto his genetic connection if possible. So I think we are leaning more towards egg donation. 

dreamingofdimples

@liz4paws I am interested in joining the secret Facebook group for egg donation. Please let me know how I can get on there. Thanks! 

liz4paws

You ladies are so sweet to mention my blog!

OP - I sent you a PM with the details.

And HUGS!

Sophistikitty

You might want to think about joining PVED (Parents Via Egg Donation).  It is a GREAT resource.

www.pved.org

dreamingofdimples

I thought I'd circle back with you @poohniki and @mrsmcirish I spoke to my doc at CCRM today who suggested karyotyping which isn't standard. He is suggesting it because both of our two abnormal embryos that made it to CCS testing had the same chromosomal abnormality. Thanks to you…I at least had some info going into the call. Thank you for suggesting it.

Emily771

hi!

just want to share my own experience. my ovaries produce also bad eggs and i needed to find some clinic that provides with donor. in the result i have my sweety baby.so you can also do so. if you have some questions you can ask.
and here is also not bad page about egg donation on facebook

https://www.facebook.com/EGG.DONATION