WWYD - HB or not?

wifeofadam

I am not pregnant right now, but if my history repeats as usual, I will probably be pregnant within the next four months and I need to decide some things about how to handle it.

My history - I had babies #1 and #2 in the hospital with a CNM.  She retired and there were no more CNMs left in the hospitals.  I live in an area that is not natural birth friendly and the OBs have high c/s rates.  I decided to have a HB with #3 and it went so well that I had one again with #4. 

Here's the problem.  The closest HB MWs are an hour and a half away.  I love them so much and they gave me wonderful care with my last two pregnancies, however, I had a precipitous labor with #4 that only lasted two hours and my MWs did not make it to the delivery in time.  My other labors lasted between 6-24 hours, so with #4 when I first went into labor I didn't think to call right away.  I called when the pain got intense and within thirty minutes I was delivering.  The MWs coached my DH and BFF over the phone and everything went well, but I feel very thankful that the baby and I didn't get seriously hurt having an unassisted birth.  I do not ever want to do it again.

After having HBs, I cannot imagine going back to the hospital.  I would hate it and I would probably be a nightmare patient.  Out of all of the OBs that deliver in my area, only two do waterbirths.  There is only one tub at the hospital and it's first come first served, obviously, so there is no guarantee you can even use it.  My BFF is a doula and has told me horror stories about 95% of the OBs, so I am not happy about potentially having to deliver with any of them.

But.....I'm not sure I feel 100% comfortable having another HB.  I know that in the future I would call right away when I go into labor so my MWs could hopefully get to me in time, but that's no guarantee.  I've read that once you have a quick labor like that, chances are it will happen again.

I have no idea what to do.  Like I said, I cannot imagine going back to the hospital after having my peaceful, beautiful HBs.  But, I do want to do what is best for me and my baby, so I don't want to ever deliver unassisted again.

WWYD?

barnwife

Well, someday I will probably be in your shoes. LO3 was a sort of quick labor. My water broke, but I had no contractions. When contractions finally kicked in it was the middle of the night. And they were only 30 seconds long and 10 minutes apart. So my MW told us to call when things picked up. 3 hours later she called to check on us. Contractions had stayed exactly the same. We were sleeping (and I mean sleeping, not dozing) between them. 

And it was then I had a contraction that I screamed "I can't do this anymore!" while DH was talking to her on the phone. She replied that it was time for her to come and we'd see her in a few minutes. 

Despite living very, very close to us, she missed S.'s birth. I only had two more contractions - one to push out his head, one to push out his body. 

So while I had about 3 hours of contractions, we didn't know how quickly things were going. (We should have. A. was a fast labor.)

And while I don't relish another UC, I also don't know how I'd ever make it to the hospital in time. I mean, if I have time to get to the hospital, my MW should be able to get here. Therefore, LO4 (whenever that happens) will also be a HB.

Sorry this is so long...I just wanted you to know you aren't alone in this dilemma.

SidraJedi

Hi there

This is a really tough situation. Hypothetically, I have to answer that I would try a HB again and hope that knowing how short labor will be this time around would get the MWs over to my place in time for the delivery.

I can't imagine giving birth in a hospital either. I also can't imagine the panic if baby had shoulder dystocia for 30 minutes while we waited for the MW or had to drive to the hospital or call 911 or attempt the Gaskin maneuver on our own! What a scarey thought!

Another thought occurred to me that if I could stay with family closer to my MW as birth approached but I can't imagine that would work for your situation.

Also, I remember you had prodomal labor for weeks before this last LO was born so it might be hard to make that call early enough to tell the MW that you are in labor!

Gee... I'm gonna say (final answer after all these musings) that in your shoes I would have to take it one day at a time, entertain the idea of an OB hospital birth, interview OBs and see if I couldn't find one that is okay? Just check it out and get a feel for what it might be like to go that route. Knowing will take out the guesswork. I'd have o do a little more contemplation and get a feel for my options and for the particular pregnancy at hand before I set my decision in stone. I'd still lean towards HB though, not gonna front.

Also, pray about it. There is a clear answer/direction if you open yourself up to it. I know you're worried but you don't have to be. Maybe a hospital birth with an OB and your support group will not be so bad, maybe you can have another (assissted!) HB now that you know what to look for? The answer will come to you if you ask the question Good luck, too, lady!

wifeofadam

Thanks, ladies!

@barnwife - having the baby on the way to the hospital is a fear of mine.  If I would have left the house when I thought it was time to head to the hospital the last time, I would have delivered in the car.  I'd rather be at home with all of the necessary supplies on hand than be in the car, for sure!!  Ugh.  I wish my midwives lived closer.

@SidraJedi - the prodromal labor is what makes all of this such a pain.  I had been dealing with it for nearly five weeks when I went into labor the last time.  I was in denial for the first hour and thought it would go away like it had every other night, so by the time I realized it was the real thing, I was really far along. 

Two of my babies have been posterior and have stalled labor, making it longer.  I guess that's one benefit to having posterior babies.  I never had to worry about it happening too quickly!

iris427

That is a tough situation. i wouldnt be comfortable with an unassisted birth either. I'm actually planning a hospital birth this time after a great home birth. I am pretty nervous about it, but at least it is a hospital that has a good reputation for natural birth and I have a really great FP doc (she is pretty much like a midwife). But yeah, it is going to be hard to put up with hospital stuff after seeing what a home birth is like. it would be even harder in a hospital like you describe where the OBs are not NB friendly. Are there any that are supposed to be OK? Could you do a preconception meeting with one of the 2 OBs you said do waterbirth and feel them out? I cant tell you what choice is right for you, but personally i would not feel safe with a high chance of unassisted birth. We all want great birth experiences but i do feel that mom and baby's safety is paramount.

*LrCg*

I would talk with your midwife and address your concerns.  She may have a solution for you.  With my first birth (which was also a HB), I delayed in calling our midwife thinking I'd be in labor a long time.  My labor was only 4 hours long and my midwife was there for the last 30 minutes.  Because of that experience with my next birth, my midwife gave me firm instructions to contact her if I just felt tickles (her policy is call when you need/want her not based on contraction times, etc).  Well the night of my next birth I was having some contractions but I could still watch TV so I called my midwife with a heads up that it may happen in the middle of the night.  Being that she's an hour from me she said she was coming anyways.  I asked what happens if its a false alarm and she said then I have to make her breakfast in the morning.  I gave birth 1 1/2 hours later and she was there for the last 45 minutes.  Your midwife may be willing to do something very similar.