Who do you want there with you during birth?

seells

DH, my bestie and my MIL. DH is basically useless in labor. He gets upset that I'm in pain and he doesn't know what to do, so MIL is more there to help DH support me. My bestie has had 2 natural births (which is what I'm attempting with my vbac) and I know she will advocate for me and won't let me get pushed around and forced into something unnecessary that I don't want. She's got my back jack!

MonkeyJD

Other than the midwife & doula it will be just DH & my mom. MIL thought for a hot second that she would be in the room but I told DH that there was no way that was going to happen. Luckily the hospital has a 2 person limit when it comes time to push. During labor they only allow 4 people total in the room which means each set of parents will get 1 pass. We haven't told people yet so I'm waiting to see how that goes over.

PregsMcSnoozalot

just dh.  i know my mom will want to be there, but she stresses me out, even though she means well.  i'd actually like to have my bff there, since she recently had two kids and she's a calming presence, but there's no way i could have bff in there and not mom, that would be just too mean to poor mom  

mamabc14

during labor my close family, grandparents my brother and sisters and parents can visit but come push time just my husband. I don't want anyone else because I think its a private experience I want to share with him only. it was only he and I making the baby anyways

Aab7114

My DH and most likely my mom. I think she will be super helpful to me, as she worked most of her career as a L&D nurse. Plus I am her only daughter. Still on the fence about having her there while pushing, so I'll probably talk to her and let her take the lead on if she wants to be there or not.

As of right now, I don't really feel too strongly either way about inlaws or my SIL being there during the labor. I know I don't want them there for pushing. Although, once I am in the middle of labor, I am sure I'll make my mind up! And right now I could care less if they want to wait in the waiting room. It's their time they are wasting. I have to be there anyway. Like I said I am sure I'll have stronger opinions once the time gets closer.

allardr

I find it more strange when people want others besides DH/SO (unless they are unavailable like with military family). I mean I'm close with my family & mom but still dont' want her there by any means...

Just DH & I last time, just DH & I this time.

emy730

Just H. The thought of having my mom in the room with us just stresses me out. She's really good at making situations more stressful and I've asked her to just wait elsewhere.

hupp0013

Just DH. My parents and in laws could pop in if they wanted. Neither did during labor with DD. (That I remember anyway.)

redhotmama7

Just my husband. I agree with a pp that I don't need an audience to watch baby pop out of my vagina... However delivering at a medical school hospital (Vanderbilt) there's a good chance I'll have an audience of med students

RoxanneA

Having gone through it 3 times already, I like just DH there.  (and medical staff of course, couldn't do it without them!)  It's a very hectic, somewhat scary and intense experience to go through.  Something only DH should be there for.

helloblueeyes

redhotmama7 said:

Just my husband. I agree with a pp that I don't need an audience to watch baby pop out of my vagina... However delivering at a medical school hospital (Vanderbilt) there's a good chance I'll have an audience of med students

My entire medical group is with a major medical university so my entire pregnancy will include med students. Thankfully i'm of the opinion that they have to learn on someone at some point so it doesn't bug me at all. 

ksuRN09

I only want my DH with me. I'd prefer not to have anyone in the waiting room either but I doubt our families would go for that and I'm not going to push it.

pipeTsquared

Only FH 

and I guess midwives, whoever as well 

but I'm not having anyone else there. Except if FH is away with work when I go to into the labour my parents will stay with me until FH gets there 

drunkenhandstand

Just the hubs

stella_blu

DH and my mom were both there for my first two kids. I had to ask SIL leave when I was in transition with my second. I think she thought she was going to sit and watch with my 7 mo old niece with her the whole time. This go round I think it will just be DH. I'm fine with my mom being there but she said after DS that it's too much to handle especially since I bleed a lot afterwards.

Jbosarge85

With DD I had my husband in the room the whole time and my mom came back once or twice during the labor. Once I was ready to go it was just me, DH, my midwife and a couple This time I would like something similar. except I think I'm not going to want anyone waiting. I just want to call them after the baby is here. With DD I was in labor 30 hours and my mom, mil, sil, and stepdad waiting the whole time. I felt kind of bad 

1982Babies

Just DH.  I don't need more people irritating me when I don't feel well.

reils500

With DS we had planned for it to be just DH. But my labor was so long we called my sister to bring DH food & a break. She stayed for a couple hours & was with me when I got my Epi (DH isn't good with needles). She left so I could sleep. DH texted her when I started to push. She came by on her way to work thi.king there would be a baby. She stayed for the last 90 min of pushing. It wasn't planned but I am so thankful she was there she was such a support.

This time it will be DH, my sister & I'm invited my other sister too. My mom id not invited nor will she know my sisters will be there.

lynnyrd80

Just DH.  I didn't even let anyone else come up and visit while I was in labor last time and plan to do the same this time.  I'm close to and love my family, but I needed to just be alone with DH and, for the most part, they were understanding.

SuperKim13

Another "just DH" lady here - that's for labor, delivery, and the waiting room.  We plan to call our families after the baby is born and we've had some time together as a family.  I just think it's an intimate process, so would rather keep it just us (and the docs, nurses, etc, of course, haha).

shanaynerz

With me when DD was born was DH, our doula, and many nurses (and eventually my OB). That's who I want there this time. I figure my folks can watch DD, but I'd like her there after the babies are born.

ashesandpearls

I won't have any family or friends, other than DH. I am a pretty private person and I want DH and I to have time with the baby before the extended family meet them. I may even try to hold off on having visitors until the day after the birth. I do worry about making the grandparents feel excluded/angry, but I hope they will not get super upset at being held off.

beff12

DH and my mom. I told DH I'm not sure about his mom being in there, and he said he understands and if I don't want her there, she doesn't need to be there. My mom is the most laid-back and calm person I know (DH is a close second) and that's what I want to be surrounded by. MIL is high-strung, full of questions, and stresses me out on a good day. My family understands not wanting her in there, but we haven't broken the news to her yet...yikes.

V1981

My dr and my husband. I don't need my chooch on display. Although last time I think 5 nurses walked in and out right at that moment. Enjoy the peep show??

bjlarson0922

My husband and my mom will be in my room no one else until the baby is born...

carolinecutie

Definitely my hubby and I'd like my mom there too. I told my sister I would like her as well, but she isn't sure she wants to see me in pain.

I'm really close to my family and I want to share this with them…

(At least, those are my thoughts for now….)

Soon2BMrsN

Just DH, which works out perfectly because that's all that will be allowed in the OR (RCS).

Jennik30

It'll be just SO and my mom. Everyone else can come visit afterwards. Mom'll probably leave the room during the actual delivery, she can't stand the sight of any blood.

TurtleMonsters

ONLY DH and I. Not calling anyone until after it happens, how long, I'm going to wait and see, as in baby will be in my arms for a good time without intruders before ppl know it's here.

bgoodbpar

I had just DH with me with DS. My mom was super hurt about it for months but she got over it by the time d-day arrived. And I was okay with her coming while I was in labor, which was nice actually. It will be the same this time. I'm not comfortable with other people around in such a "vulnerable state" (ya know, the whole va-jay-jay front and center, me pushing a watermelon out of a lemon...)... some say modesty goes out the window--that never happened with me lol. It was also why I was really annoyed when people showed up the following day and wanted to sit in the room while my lactation consultant came by.... I'm just prudish though....

cookieinva

Just DH, plus whatever medical staff. Same as last time. My parents came to the hospital but were not present during labor. I hope they do the same this time so they can take DS during labor.

nola 1017

For my daughter it was just me and my husband. We'll do the same for this baby. I haven't read all of the responses but you may want to keep in mind that most hospitals limit your guests. At my hospital, I can have 2 people with me for a vaginal delivery and 1 for a c-section. After, you can have as many people as you want. Also, during my vaginal delivery with Abigail, there was DH, one nurse on both sides of me, a resident who was observing and a couple other nurses behind my OB. It was a lot. I don't know where more people would have fit in the room.

glitterclaws

It will be DH and my mom with me. One if the first things my mom said when we told her I was preggers was that she wanted to be in the room. We have an odd relationship but I feel pretty indifferent about it. I could change my mind.

My whole family is local. My bestie has offered to be my bouncer to ensure we do not get any extra visitors until we are ready. She's a tough cookie and I know she will lay down the law for my extended family and in laws.

I'm more worried about who's going to waiting for us at home when I am discharged. I want to be alone but my MIL and her boyfriend think they are coming to stay. We see them twice a year, once in the spring and once at Christmas. They live 2.5 hrs away. DH feels guilty asking them to drive "all the way home" after visiting. We will see what happens.

middleschoolmommy

DH and maybe my mom. I'm not sure, so I'm going to wait til it's close to time before I ask her.

TwizzyG

Just my DH in the room. I'll be delivering at the hospital I work at, so there will be plenty of support for me and him.
My mom told me on the phone that she has every intention of being at the hospital, even if it means she has to wait in the waiting room. I told her that if that truly was her intent, that I wouldn't even let her know when we were going. Once I get to the post partum floor, I am more than happy to entertain visitors...before that, hell no. That is my and my husbands time to bond with the baby.

emineminem

I would love to have JUST the hubs there for the whole process, but I have a feeling MIL and SIL'S will be there. No way in hell they will watch my vagina explode out a child. DH's eyes only.

Mamaduncan

CandC13 said:

DH, period. Now how I will tell my mother this is another story

Im having the same dillema

abchittam

I don't really care who wants to visit during the early stages of labor. The first go around, things were really calm until my water was broken. It was nice having people there to entertain me considering I was in no pain. But once she broke my water, I no longer wanted anybody there (other than DH and mom). I got my epidural immediately after my water was broken and fell "asleep" shortly after. Around this same time, my bp shot up and the monitors were beeping like crazy so the hospital kicked everybody out anyways. They allowed my mom and DH to stay, but only DH was there for delivery. There were a ton of people there in the waiting room, but that didn't bother me.

This is subject to change if I'm in excrutiating pain this time.

Kristen0705

My hubby and I agree that we only want the two of us in there. When my sister was in labor, she had a whole group of meds students, her best friend taking pictures, me (I was 15 at the time!), and our mom in the room. I don't think anyone else needs to see that, and I certainly don't want that sort of documentation. My mom and I argued because she thinks I should have a mirror to watch myself so I can "see one of natures greatest beauties." Uhhh... no thanks!

allardr

Mamaduncan said:

DH, period. Now how I will tell my mother this is another story

Im having the same dillema

every time a question like this about who will be in the room it baffles me how many parents & in-laws "assume/expect" they'll be in the room. IMO everyone should assume they'll be in the waiting room at most unless otherwise asked by the mom to be.

Ladies just spill it, do it early, and be blunt & honest. The longer you dance around the issue and let that idea fester in their heads the more they'll be "set" on it being what they want.