No children at the hospital

RondackHiker

Since it's a nasty flu season, the hospital I'm delivering at just banned all visitors under 14. Even siblings.

So this means DS doesn't get to be the first to meet LO and dh and I don't get to tell him it's a boy or girl together. I was so looking forward to seeing his reaction and seeing him meet the baby, and felt so strongly that he should be the first to meet the baby.

And now it won't happen. And I keep ugly crying. I hate crying over crap I can't change. I'm just so upset that other people get to meet baby and tell DS about baby and that rather than just DS and dh and baby and I together for the first time, there's going to be someone else at our house during the meeting since obviously DS can't stay alone.

I know I'm not the only one handling this. Please tell me someone has ideas to make this special or better somehow. I'm kind of crushed about it, even though I know it's not a huge thing. It just feels like one.

iwubrory

I'm sad to say that I get exactly where you're coming from. I just found out the same thing on Tuesday and I ugly cried too. I'm still so sad about it. I have no tips or ideas but hopefully someone else does. It just plain sucks.

cbear47

(My hospital says no one under 12)

FaceTime? Can you show the new baby through a window while talking on a phone? I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this on such short notice.

ziggy903

I'm so sorry sweetie. (((Hugs)))

mlynn333

I am so sorry - I know you were so looking forward to sharing that moment.

Would it maybe work for your H to go and visit your DS right after LO is born? Then you could video chat as a family and share the news together that way?

((Hugs)) - hopefully others will have more and better ideas for you!

shellbell3845

That really sucks. I'm sorry.

Is there a way you could Skype or FaceTime? You would get to see his reaction and he could see you and LO. Not ideal, but maybe a decent alternative?

1ofme4ofthem

Could you have everyone else hold off meeting the baby until you get home? Then your son can meet baby first. I know clearly that's not your first choice. I'm sorry.

cksmith29

Oh no!!!  It's definitely a big deal and ugly cry worthy.  My girls will be crushed if they cannot come to the hospital to see the baby, and so will I. 

Maybe you can Skype or Facetime.  I know that's not even marginally close to the same thing as your DS meeting the baby in person, but at least you can be sure he sees LO first. 

I'm so sorry

1linedrawing

My hospital is doing the same thing with anyone under 18... My little brother is 11, and I wanted him to be there.. We will be facetiming him. I know it's not really the same, but I understand to a degree.
I'm with TLex, too.. I might be a little "irrational" and tell everyone no one knows until big brother knows...

littlepig2

I'm so sorry! I agree with PP's with Skype or FaceTime. I like the party idea, too. clearly I'm no real help here but I am thinking of you!

sdlaura

I'm sorry. Is there any chance the policy changes prior to your birth? We are not having DD meet the baby until we get home, but it's different since she's too young to really know that she has a new sibling.

RondackHiker

L12541 said:

I'm sorry. Is there any chance the policy changes prior to your birth? We are not having DD meet the baby until we get home, but it's different since she's too young to really know that she has a new sibling.

No. It'll be in place till April.

RondackHiker

LaurLaurLaur said:

This really blows. I would be so upset too.

I agree with PPs about a mini party. Maybe DH can take DS to get balloons and cupcakes or another treat for the baby's coming home party?

And can you go into the house and send home whoever is watching DS and have a few minutes with him before DH brings the baby in?

You can tell people not to mention the sex or talk about the baby to him so you guys can still have your special moment when you come home.

Our families are all about two hours away. Who is with him will vary depending on day and time.

I hate to send someone two hours home... Especially if we've had people not visit at the hospital.

And the thought that my MIL could be there upsets me. She's been really unpleasant lately and she will make a big deal about how she got to see the meeting or if she gets to see baby first.

inluv4life2

RondackHiker said:

Since it's a nasty flu season, the hospital I'm delivering at just banned all visitors under 14. Even siblings.

So this means DS doesn't get to be the first to meet LO and dh and I don't get to tell him it's a boy or girl together. I was so looking forward to seeing his reaction and seeing him meet the baby, and felt so strongly that he should be the first to meet the baby.

And now it won't happen. And I keep ugly crying. I hate crying over crap I can't change. I'm just so upset that other people get to meet baby and tell DS about baby and that rather than just DS and dh and baby and I together for the first time, there's going to be someone else at our house during the meeting since obviously DS can't stay alone.

I know I'm not the only one handling this. Please tell me someone has ideas to make this special or better somehow. I'm kind of crushed about it, even though I know it's not a huge thing. It just feels like one.

I am in the same boat. Crying crying!! Hoping my doctor has a miracle answer at my appt tomorrow. Xo!

inluv4life2

RondackHiker said:

Since it's a nasty flu season, the hospital I'm delivering at just banned all visitors under 14. Even siblings.

So this means DS doesn't get to be the first to meet LO and dh and I don't get to tell him it's a boy or girl together. I was so looking forward to seeing his reaction and seeing him meet the baby, and felt so strongly that he should be the first to meet the baby.

And now it won't happen. And I keep ugly crying. I hate crying over crap I can't change. I'm just so upset that other people get to meet baby and tell DS about baby and that rather than just DS and dh and baby and I together for the first time, there's going to be someone else at our house during the meeting since obviously DS can't stay alone.

I know I'm not the only one handling this. Please tell me someone has ideas to make this special or better somehow. I'm kind of crushed about it, even though I know it's not a huge thing. It just feels like one.

I am in the same boat. Crying crying!! Hoping my doctor has a miracle answer at my appt tomorrow. Xo!

Winnieella

I am so sorry. I have no advice other than Hugs. 

MamaAllison

Dude, that sucks. Can you double check your hospital's policy? I mean, you probably already did, but siblings are exempt from the banned kids at my hospital. Or maybe ban will get lifted before you deliver?

RondackHiker

MamaAllison said:

Dude, that sucks. Can you double check your hospital's policy? I mean, you probably already did, but siblings are exempt from the banned kids at my hospital. Or maybe ban will get lifted before you deliver?

There's no exception.

ramfan05

I'm so sorry! ((hugs)) I would be just as upset if I were in your position (which reminds me that I should probably check on the hospital's visitor policy tomorrow). I don't have any better advice than what's been posted, but I really hope you find a solution that works for your family.

gingerm84

I'm sorry, that would send me over the edge too! (((Hugs)))

Jspagnuolo

So sorry... I can only imagine how upset you must be over this news. No new ideas here... the other ladies had some good ones. Just ((hugs))

calimama2007

They have started doing that here too. The one thing that made me feel less affected by it was the reminder that another mom on one of the boards I'm on lost her 15 month old to the flu last year.

Thinking about that made me realize that in the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal, and I'm sure you guys will think of another sweet way to work it out. 

snowwhite1979

I'm so sorry. I hope you and baby recover super quickly so you can reunite everyone as soon as possible. This would make me ugly cry too.

VeronicaAnn143

That sucks!! What if DS stayed with family. DH picks you up and takes you home with LO. Then goes and picks up DS so it's still just the 4 of you for the meeting?

Eta: you could also do no visitors at the hospital so DS is still first? Depends on how long you'll be there I guess but it's what I would probably do.

keags5496

Big hugs! Ugly cry to your hearts content. I would too. Nothing new to add that PPs havent already said but I wanted to offer my support.

slwprincess

I'm sorry. I know you're disappointed! I've considered not allowing the bigs to come to the hospital this time b/c it went so poorly last time. But that would be MY choice- I'd probably be upset if the hospital made it for me!

dunvilles

I would tell everyone that they couldn't see LO until your DS does. Use that time as a family in the hospital with LO. May be nice with no visitors!!!

boogerbearoriginal

Like PPs suggested, I'd probably do the no visitors at hospital policy and then DS will still be the first to meet LO even if it's at home instead.

If MIL wants to be a weirdo and "brag" about being there when they met, well, she sucks. I mean, a reasonable/normal person would recognize it's a moment for the family and kindly step into the other room or something to give you guys a few moments of privacy together.

While it stinks your initial meeting won't take place the way you guys planned, I'm sure your DS will be so thrilled to meet his new brother/sister that it won't matter the time/place.

cauliflowereyes

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that... it's sad and disappointing! I'd be bummed if my little nephew couldn't come to the hospital to meet my little guy, let alone a sibling! 

If it helps at all, I'm sure their first meeting, wherever it is, will be memorable and wonderful. Sibling love .. it's so beautiful! 

Noethola

I am so very sorry. That is utterly disappointing and worth an ugly cry. 

My hospital has a caveat for siblings, if you can prove they have had their flu shot. You have to take all the paperwork to prove it, but it at least might give you an option if he has had one. 

I am so sorry.