RCS nerves

flerlgirl

'ello. Soooo I am way overthinking this but I was hoping someone might have some tips for me to calm the F down. 

With DS I had an emergency c-section. They told us at like 5:45 he would have to be delivered and he was born at 7:08, so there wasn't a lot of time to wrap my head around it. Up till that day I had planned on a vaginal birth and all of the "normal" stuff.  

So now with the second one, I am having an RCS (VBAC isn't a possibility for me) and I am already getting so nervous about it. I can't even drive past the hospital where DS was born (and where this one will be born) with a ton of anxiety and I know that going back there as a patient will be hard. Every time I think about having a c-section again, all I can think of is my experience with DS. Crying the whole time, begging the nurses to let him stay, asking my husband why the baby wasn't crying, blah. So for you ladies who had an emergency c/s and then an RCS (or even just a regular delivery after your preemie), did you feel this way? Did you find anything that helped? Logically I know that everything is fine and this experience will be so much different. I am just so nervous. 

Bonus points if your advice includes a Harry Potter reference. Thanks, llllladies!  

KTZ17

I'm sorry I don't have experience to share with you yet, but I just wanted to say that I think once you get further along in your pregnancy, maybe some of your fears will subside. Once you pass when DS was born and everything is progressing well, hopefully you'll feel better. It'll be different - not an emergency, you'll have baby in the recovery room, no mag sulfate (did you have that?) and all that other stuff us preemie moms missed out on. I had a csection with DD and like your experience, since it happened pretty quickly I didn't really have time to worry about it. Since I am a worrier, though, I'm sure I'll be worried about the second one. And as for a HP reference, DD's name is Luna :-) people ask me like Luna Lovegood? Sure, if it helps you remember it!

flerlgirl

Thanks, @ktz17. I'm hoping that once I pass the milestone for DS it won't be so overwhelming, like you said. I did have the mag...so, so fun. You're right; this will be a totally different experience. I just have to get there without my brain melting out of my ears. 

Love your DD's name!

philkristi

Well I don't post much but here is my experience.  I had an emergency CS with DD.  She is now 3.  My CS was so fast they had to put me out so I don't know what that portion was like but I had a RCS with DS.  Well didn't make it to my actual scheduled date but made it to 37 weeks and it was pretty routine.  The 2nd CS was pretty easy and not bad at all.  DS came quick but everything was completely normal and I got the "normal" birth that I wanted with DD.  I was nervous the entire time I was pregnant with DS because I so wanted to make it to the end.  After the the 28 & 31 weeks I was relieved to have made it that far, then waited to get to at least 36 weeks.  After that I was completely fine and no more worries just ready to have my DS.  Of course he did decide to come on a day that was snowy out and I was home alone with DD and let my DH take my car because of the roads (he had a stick truck) so I couldn't drive that thing.  I had to find someone to take my to the hospital to meet DH but besides that everything was great and once you get past those crucial weeks your worries will be less and less.

flerlgirl

@bromios, I am loling. JK Rowling is a mean, hateful person who kills off all of my favorites. 

I actually do see someone about it. I am not able to go as often as I like since DS insists on being raised and fed and all that stuff. But I think you're right. I think a lot of it has to do with his first birthday, which is coming up, and I am reliving a lot of those memories. Thanks for the advice!

flerlgirl

bromios said:

flerlgirl said:

@bromios, I am loling. JK Rowling is a mean, hateful person who kills off all of my favorites. 

I actually do see someone about it. I am not able to go as often as I like since DS insists on being raised and fed and all that stuff. But I think you're right. I think a lot of it has to do with his first birthday, which is coming up, and I am reliving a lot of those memories. Thanks for the advice!

I will never forgive JK for Sirius. Never. I cried for six hours like a lunatic!

It sounds like you're doing the right things, and trauma takes time to process (I'm still working through some pieces). I actually found the time between my twins' first birthday and the anniversary of my daughter's homecoming to be some of the hardest to deal with because it felt like the NICU had stolen that bit of their first year and that, even though they were a year old, they hadn't been fully "mine" for a year yet. I am sending you calming, peaceful vibes and hoping that you have a happy birth experience this time around - I hear a good second time can be very healing. 

He isn't dead. No one is dead. I have adapted a new way to deal with Harry Potter: denial. Nothing bad happened. Look, a rainbow!

Thanks for the warning about the time between his birthday and homecoming date. I'm hoping being pregnant AGAIN will help me not think about it too much. I know it will be hard... stupid NICU, taking all of my baby's first year. Well, it did save his life, so I guess it's not all bad, but still. Stupid NICU. Thanks for the vibes! I am looking forward to a much better experience this time