Fostering: what does your baby call you?

I was talking with a coworker yesterday about our infertility and fostering story and she asks "when you teach a baby to talk, what will you have them call you?"  It never really crossed my mind to think about it, and now that I have pondered it awhile I still have no idea what my answer is.  The DH and I talked about it last night and now he does know either.  I wanted to ask here...what have you done?  What does your baby, who may not be your baby forever, call you?


Re: Fostering: what does your baby call you?

  • In fostering cases that I have seen where its not necessarily a foster to adopt case they have taught them to call them "Mama _____ (first name)" I truly think that this is appropriate. Women and men who lovingly take these kiddos into their home and care for them DESERVE that title of Mom and Dad but you also don't want to confuse them completely if they aren't staying in your home.
    If there were plans for an adoption to occur I would personally teach them that I am mom and He is Dad...  
    Began the Adoption process 4/2013
    Home study Approved 12/2013
    .... and the wait begins! 

  • I have seen Mr. First Name and Ms. First Name, Mom and Dad, Momma First Name and Daddy First Name, Auntie First Name and Uncle First Name, Grandma and Grandpa (in the case of older foster parents).  I've also seen a few who just used the first name of the foster parents.  In my experience it's usually the younger ones who use Mom and Dad (or some version). They may not have as much of a history with their birth parents as older kids who may see it as a betrayal.  
  • Loading the player...
  • When fostering we us Mommy and Daddy first name. But the others are right, it usually runs the gamut!
  • Younger foster kiddos call us Mamma Bear and Poppie and the teen calls us by our first names. She was here before the foster baby came though so that's what she started with. We agree that it's important for the younger ones to be able to call us a version of mom/dad for their own growth but we wanted something very different from something that they called their parents. (Turns out that was smart on our part!) Also, this still works well for social workers, teacher etc even after they RU as far as telling which parents the 4 yr old is talking about. We expect a bounce back however.
    ***Loss and success mentioned***
    Me:34, Wife: 32
    IF reasoning = MFI: Zero Sperm Count using FairFax donor bank
    IUI #1 - #3: 2011 = BFN
    IVF: 2011 = BFN, lost all 10 embryos (with C/Ps)
    Jan 2014 - OBGYN (not RE) found and removed wife's "field of" uterine polyps after failed IVF

    Moving on to surrogacy (actually a planned adoption)
    Surrogate IUI#1: 7.17.12 = BFP!! 15dpiui = 256, 17dpiui = 346
    Oliver Zane born - 3/29/2013 on Good Friday!

    IUI #4 - #6: 2014-2015 = BFN (with C/Ps)
    Switch sperm donors, start ketosis diet to reduce inflammation late 2015
    IVF 2: Jan and Feb 2016, 3 great looking, 8 cell 3 day embryos. Two ET, one frozen
    2.18.2016 (8dp3dt) = BFFP!
    2.22.2016 (12dp3dt) = 649!!

    Started foster care experience in 2012. Now waiting to adopt our foster daughter, 7, who has lived with us for 3 years. 

    "Wait for your God, and don't give up on Him - ever!" Hosea 12:6 (msg)

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards