Adoption

Paternity issues

I'll try to make this short. We have a 2 year old son through a very open adoption. In April, our son's birthmom told us she was 7 mo pregnant again, same birthfather (according to dating ultrasounds, she got pregnant the week they broke up basically). Our daughter was born in June and came home from the hospital with us.

Last week, birthfather told us that he had a general feeling that there was a chance the he is not the biological father (though she swore she hadn't been with anyone else). We did a DNA test and indeed he's not.

Now we are going to have to talk to her and hopefully get more info. Our adoption was finalized a month ago but this opens it up again to being fought in court if the true birthfather chooses.

Anyone been through anything like this? Any words of wisdom? I will prob delete this for privacy in a bit so please don't quote. Thanks.
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Re: Paternity issues

  • No words of wisdom- just wanted to say that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Blessed with 2 amazing little boys. One grew in my tummy and the other my heart.

    06/30/10 my 1st son was born on my birthday. 
    TTC #2 since 05/2011 BFP- Feb 2012, EDD- 11/01/12, m/c- 03/05/12 @ 5w+4d 
    12/20/13 my 2nd son was born and placed in my arms.
    Surprise BFP- Nov 2014, EDD- 8/06/215, mc 12/24/2015 @ 8w+6d
    SURPRISE - BFP- 4/8/2105

  • The only thing I would say is get a lawyer who is well versed in adoption law for your state. I'll be thinking of you
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  • No words of wisdom as I haven't been there. I just echo Dr. L- get a good laywer which i'm sure you know.

    i'll be thinking of your family during this stressful time.

  • I have no advice but thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!   Hopefully this goes as smooth as possible! 

    J&B // Married 9/19/09
    J: 28 // B: 32 

    TTC # 1 Since October 2010 (Not preventing since 2009)
    November 2013: Applied & Accepted by the Agency
    January 2014: Home Study, education class, Profiles
    February 2014: "Officially Waiting"
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  • I'm so sorry. Get the lawyer and see what the best possible outcome is.


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  • I have no further words of wisdom for you! Just wanted to say you're in my thoughts!!!! 
    Began the Adoption process 4/2013
    Home study Approved 12/2013
    .... and the wait begins! 

  • We have an outstanding lawyer who handled our finalization. We are waiting to hear from our sons birthdad to make a plan, along w the agency (and w the lawyers guidance). Ugh.
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  • Doesn't he only have 60 days to come forward? If so, you are half way through. Hugs and prayers
  • I agree with Pinkie.  Some states (ours for example) have putative father registries.  We have a legal father and a birth father involved.  Legal father has signed off and birth father has 30 days from birth to come forward, since we already had our attorney submit the paperwork.  I would definitely contact an attorney.  Good luck!  You will be in our thoughts and prayers.

    we are until forever...
    check out our blog


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