More kids and careers?

stlmomma27

A little back story on me, I am 28 years old, married with one child. I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2008 and had to have surgery to remove the pregnancy (my tube was saved), I have been trying to get into the nursing program at my school for over 2 years. I can finally start this upcoming fall, but now I am having second thoughts.

My reason why, I am getting close to 30 and knowing that I had a prior ectopic, I know my chances for having another one goes up with age. 

I wanted to have my kids close in age, that has always been important to me. I want to be a nurse though too. Both of these things are so important to me. 

I am not sure if I should just get a certificate and go with that or what I should do?! My husband is the only one working and he is tired of struggling with just one paycheck. I understand completely. If I got pregnant next month, then the age gap would be around 2 years and 2 months. 

I called the nursing department today and they said that they have had pregnant students, but it is either too hard on them or they miss one clinical and fail.

What do you think? Anyone in a similar situation like me? Wanting another child and wanting to finish school?

CoUnTryBB1

Not in the same situation at all but if you work hard at it you can do it!  It just may not be easy.   As long as you are willing to work hard and know that it will be a struggle at first you can accomplish it.   I say follow both of your dreams, you might just have to figure out your work arounds.  

Are you planning to go to a 4 year school and get your RN or a two year plan and get your LPN?  I know that with the LPN, the two year plan is a little more flexible in this area.   And you can ignore my 20 questions at any time    Does the nursing program go year round or do you have a break in the summer?  If so maybe you and SO could shoot for a due date around then.  

stlmomma27

CoUnTryBB1 said:

Not in the same situation at all but if you work hard at it you can do it!  It just may not be easy.   As long as you are willing to work hard and know that it will be a struggle at first you can accomplish it.   I say follow both of your dreams, you might just have to figure out your work arounds.  

Are you planning to go to a 4 year school and get your RN or a two year plan and get your LPN?  I know that with the LPN, the two year plan is a little more flexible in this area.   And you can ignore my 20 questions at any time    Does the nursing program go year round or do you have a break in the summer?  If so maybe you and SO could shoot for a due date around then.  

It is a 2-year program, to get your RN degree. I was thinking that if I got pregnant in August, then I would be due right around when school is going to be out and then I would have the whole summer. My only concern is that if the next pregnancy I have morning sickness. I didn't with my ds, but who's to say that I won't next time. I am so conflicted!  :-/

drunkindonuts

Welp, nursing school is mentally and physically exhausting. I don't think I could've done it with a child at home and while being pregnant. I don't want to sound discouraging because you can do anything you truly WANT to do. It also depends on your long term goals. I currently only work as a part-time RN so DD doesn't have to go to daycare. Ideally, I'd like to quit my day job and just be home for awhile. With that being said, it sucks paying $500/mos in student loans while I work PT and potentially won't work at all in the future. I can't say I love being a nurse either, so that does have some influence. Moral of the story, do what makes you happy; if you can handle a fast-paced, sleep deprived 2 years while being a mom/pregnant, then I think you should go for it! You don't want to have any regrets:)

sdlaura

Having a history of various types of pregnancy loss myself, I can identify with worrying about waiting too long. But 28 years old is really very young in the world of fertility, especially since you know you have both tubes and were already able to carry a pregnancy to term.  If I were you, I would go back to school for two years, then try to get pregnant. 

I am now 38 weeks pregnant and I am very lucky that my body handles pregnancy very well, but it is still super tough to work full time and take care of a toddler.  I would save yourself that stress by finishing the school program first.

piphigirl

That's a tough spot.  My advice is going to be biased because I only want one child, so take it with a grain of salt.

I would finish nursing school first, if that has always been your goal.  First, I think you'd feel a good sense of accomplishment.  Second, it would be nice to have that additional income when you have a second child.  Third, while having kids close in age is nice and I understand that is important to you, having kids farther apart in age can be okay, too.

If your first pregnancy was relatively free of hardships, you might be able to handle nursing school AND pregnancy.  You might surprise yourself.  I am in graduate school right now and there is NO way I could have done that pregnant because I was so sick in the evenings.  But, I also thought I couldn't take two classes at once.  I thought it would be too hard for me.  My adviser talked me into trying it and it's not as back as you thought.  You might surprise yourself.

Again, take my advice with knowledge of bias - I am only having one child, partly because I love my job (teaching) and I want my students to continue to be a priority in my life. 

piphigirl

That's a tough spot.  My advice is going to be biased because I only want one child, so take it with a grain of salt.

I would finish nursing school first, if that has always been your goal.  First, I think you'd feel a good sense of accomplishment.  Second, it would be nice to have that additional income when you have a second child.  Third, while having kids close in age is nice and I understand that is important to you, having kids farther apart in age can be okay, too.

If your first pregnancy was relatively free of hardships, you might be able to handle nursing school AND pregnancy.  You might surprise yourself.  I am in graduate school right now and there is NO way I could have done that pregnant because I was so sick in the evenings.  But, I also thought I couldn't take two classes at once.  I thought it would be too hard for me.  My adviser talked me into trying it and it's not as back as you thought.  You might surprise yourself.

Again, take my advice with knowledge of bias - I am only having one child, partly because I love my job (teaching) and I want my students to continue to be a priority in my life. 

BatDaughter4Eva

I would go go with schooling first. If your H is already stressed about money, being the only person working then maybe another baby could wait.

britvahok

I found out I was pregnant with DS in December 2011 and started grad school in January 2012.  It's extremely difficult to be in school and have a child.  I also work full time so the only time I have to do my school work is when DS goes to bed.  I graduate in May 2015 and don't plan on having another baby until I'm done with school.  Can it be done?  Yes!  But you do have to be very motivated and determined.

MoFree

I went to school FT for my MSN to become a nurse practitioner before having children. It was a very intense two years that required my full focus. Could I have done it while pregnant and having a child, yes. However I doubt I would have achieved the same results academically and would not have given my baby the same amount of time.
My suggestion would be to complete the nursing program and then plan for another child.