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mommymegan831mommymegan831
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edited January 2014 in Working Moms
just not worth all the negative judy comment

Re: deleted

  • I don't know how bad the injury is, but I honestly would not expect any contact from them when school is closed. You could take a picture of the bruise I case it looks different tomorrow.
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  • If the skin is red and rough like a burn may be, are you sure it's an injury?  It could be a rash of some sort, too.  DS's eczema flairs up in the winter and he gets splotches that sound similar to that.

    If you're concerned about the "evidence" going away, take a picture.  If it is an injury on the back, the teachers may not have even realized it was there if they didn't see the incident occur.  How often do they lift up his shirt to see his back?  I wouldn't expect a call today either.  She could easily have called the teachers without listening to messages left at the center, so she wouldn't know to ask them.
  • I also wanted to add that even if the teachers were aware of it, they could have been distracted by the Snowpocolypse and thats why they didn't get to talk to you about it.
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  • I guess I just figured if they're watching him like they should be they would have noticed that he got hurt, lift his shirt to check on him.  I would have also like to think that if they felt bad about missing this and not notifying me of it when I picked him up, that they would have made the effort to contact me today.  The owner is still getting paid for today, so I didn't think it was a big deal to ask her to talk to me for 2 minutes.  
  • If it was something like a rug burn, maybe it didn't hurt him.  Like you said, he doesn't really cry when he's hurt.  I would take a picture and ask tomorrow.  I wouldn't expect a call back on a snow day either.

    Or it could very well be a dry patch, DS has super sensitive skin and gets it all the time.

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  • Yes.  It is unreasonable to expect the director to call you back today.  If they're closed due to weather she likely didn't go to the building and as such didn't even get the message!

    It seems like you're looking for a reason to leave your center.  First you said your child doesn't cry so they likely didn't know it happened... then you want an explanation.  If they say, "I don't know what that's from" are you going to be satisfied?  Also, I take issue with your remark about them watching him "like they should be".  They're not super humans!  I'm sure there are a bunch of kids in that room... someday your little guy is going to get hurt on your watch and you're not going to know how it happened... and there won't have been 6 other kids in the room.  You need to cut these people some slack.

     

  • Estwd2 said:
    I would not expect daycare to notice a mark the size of a thumb under DD's shirt in the middle of her back. I also wouldn't expect them to call me back when they are closed. This is not an emergency. It sounds like it can wait a day.

    This.  Sorry.  Unreasonable. 
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  • Actually, the more I think about this the more I just need to comment.  Your child isn't even hurt.  At all.  He has a tiny mark on his back.  Who cares?  Did he just start daycare?  Kids get bumps and bruises.  A tiny mark under your kids shirt, that didn't bother him and was likely impossible for them to notice should NOT be a big deal.  You're being ridiculous. 
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  • well the owner did call me back and left me a message that she spoke to the teachers and they're not sure what happened.  I'll show it to them tomorrow and hopefully they'll be able to explain it.  I really appreciate that while she couldn't give me any answers she gave me the courtesy of a phone call.

    My kids have been in daycare since last September, although they don't go over the summer.  The dc they went to last year would always call if there was an injury and filled out a report every time.  I'm not upset that he was hurt, what bothered me is that they didn't say anything.  It also bothers me that this isn't a bruise, its more of a burn, so I just don't understand how that would have happened.  He does not have dry skin.  At lease where I teach, everything falls on the teacher's and the teachers are expected to have everything under control and be on top of everything.  If something happens to a 12 year old in my class and I'm expected to know what happened, and I'll probably be reprimanded for not preventing it.  I'm not really upset, or blaming the teachers for anything, just would have appreciated a heads up.

    As for the pp who found a bit mark on your child when you got home, I"m sorry but that's crazy.  Again, the issue isn't really that he was bit, but why weren't you told?  If a child leaves a mark that bad, they really bit the kid hard and I'm sure there was screaming.  That teacher could be in real trouble because an accident report should have been filed.  If it got infected or something, there is no record that it took place at the daycare.
  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930
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    edited January 2014
    Seriously? It doesn't seem to bother him, and the center is closed. Teachers aren't going to chck thei work voicemails from home, nor should the director be expected to grill them about a thumb-sized mark on one child that they may or may not have witnessed.

    And "watching him like they should?" You do realize there are other chidren there beside yours, right? While I don't condone being negligent, little things happen in a blink of an eye that may not be avoidable even under an eagle eye. He likely brushed up against something. Let it go and relax. You are seriously overreacting.
     
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    [Deleted User]
  • My guess is he slipped or something w/ his back up against something, shirt rode up & he got a brush burn from whatever it was. You shouldn't expect people from a school to call you back when they're closed. Do you check your work v.m. on days off & call ppl back?
  • You seriously sound like a giant pain in the butt. It's abundantly clear that you have a problem with daycare, so pull your child already and either get a nanny or quit your job.
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  • well the owner did call me back and left me a message that she spoke to the teachers and they're not sure what happened.  I'll show it to them tomorrow and hopefully they'll be able to explain it.  I really appreciate that while she couldn't give me any answers she gave me the courtesy of a phone call.


    My kids have been in daycare since last September, although they don't go over the summer.  The dc they went to last year would always call if there was an injury and filled out a report every time.  I'm not upset that he was hurt, what bothered me is that they didn't say anything.  It also bothers me that this isn't a bruise, its more of a burn, so I just don't understand how that would have happened.  He does not have dry skin.  At lease where I teach, everything falls on the teacher's and the teachers are expected to have everything under control and be on top of everything.  If something happens to a 12 year old in my class and I'm expected to know what happened, and I'll probably be reprimanded for not preventing it.  I'm not really upset, or blaming the teachers for anything, just would have appreciated a heads up.

    As for the pp who found a bit mark on your child when you got home, I"m sorry but that's crazy.  Again, the issue isn't really that he was bit, but why weren't you told?  If a child leaves a mark that bad, they really bit the kid hard and I'm sure there was screaming.  That teacher could be in real trouble because an accident report should have been filed.  If it got infected or something, there is no record that
    it took place at the daycare.

    How do you know it took place at daycare? DS has gotten rubs from clothes being bunched under his car seat before. He never fussed or complained but it was there. I've been one on one with him for multiple day stretches and been clueless about how he got a mark or bruise.

    You admitted he might not have cried. How are the teachers supposed to know and record an accident that they may not have even known about because he didn't cry?!

    Maybe he wiggled around on his cot. Maybe he did a somersault. Maybe he used a toy to scratch an itch on his back. Maybe he slid off a slide or other toy and got a small rub and no one noticed because it wasn't an accident and he didn't complain.


    It really is possible for them to properly supervise your child and not see how he got a strange mark under his shirt.

    You sound like a pain.


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    jnnfrrose6[Deleted User]
  • Um kids get bumps, bruises, scratches. It's part of childhood. Ofteb times I dont know where some bumps come from on my daughter on my watch. You're making too much of this.
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  • Maybe you should request a full body check upon arrival and departure from DC each day. They could even use a form similar to the one filled out when you rent a car. That way you'll know who is responsible for each and every "ding" on your child. (Sarcasm is hard to show on the Internet, so let me tell you that I am laying it on pretty thick). In all seriousness, I think you are being unreasonable. I am sure if there was an incident witnessed you would have been informed. I think you are overreacting. Sorry.
    Can't figure out the signature thing, so here's the short, short version.....first daughter born on November 10, 2013. She was conceived through the magic of IVF after 2+ years of TTC.
    jnnfrrose6nbartlett47thedash[Deleted User]
  • Oh, and comparing being responsible for a bunch of 12 year olds to a bunch of toddlers is ridiculous. A 12 year old's mom likely wouldn't know about a tiny, non painful mark under his shirt. And if she asked him, he might say "I don't know" or "I got it by doing XYZ in this class". And then, unless it was something like the student being burned or attacked, the parent would likely drop it.

    A toddler can't tell us or a teacher how he was hurt. If it doesn't hurt, he might not cry. Since it's more of a rub than a bruise, the teacher could have caused it rubbing his back with a ring on or something and never know he was "hurt". Teachers should be alert and do their best to know how children are hurt, yes. But expecting them to know about every little ding, even one under clothing, is ridiculous.

    Why are you so stressed about finding out what happened? Do you think they did it on purpose or something?

    I've asked about strange marks before, more from curiosity, and laughed with his teachers about active kids and bruises/marks when neither of us had a clue about where it came from.


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  • I really didn't expect so many responses to this post because I really wasn't making a big deal of it.  I don't understand why there's a reason to be rude.  I hear crazy things on the news all the time, I don't think it's unreasonable for me to wonder where my kid gets a burn from.  Again, it's not that I'm upset he got hurt, I'd just like to know how.  

    For those of you who have no problem with your kids coming home with bites or covered in bruises with no explanation, I find that's crazy.  Aren't you curious about what your child is doing during the day?  My 2 kids run around and wrestle all night, my son ran into a wall and fell twice the other day, yet neither have any marks on them.  I don't think it's unreasonable to question what happened.  To get upset about every little normal toddler injury is another story, but why should I be ridiculed for asking what happened to my kid?

    I think it's really sad the tone this post took.  We're supposed to be supportive of working moms and the hard decisions that have to be made and some of you have the nerve to tell me to quit my job or put my kid somewhere else.  If I was the type of person to get upset over every little mark, which I'm not, how is putting my kids in someone else's care going to help?  I would be a SAHM in a heart beat but we can't afford to lose my salary, so shove that it my face is really obnoxious.
  • I just want to add that my DS gets rubs like this on his back all the time.  I finally figured out that it's because he rubs his back on the brick wall of the building when they line them up after recess.  Something similar is probably happening with your DS.  My DS doesn't even notice them, I just see them when he takes a bath.
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    thedash
  • You say that you weren't making a big deal about it, but you are. For example, you expected a response on a day that the school is closed. Additionally, you got a phone call stating that the teachers were unaware of the "injury", but don't seem to except that response. I don't think most people have an issue with the fact that you inquired about what happened. I think it's more that you are making more of the issue than is really necessary. Responses might be different if we were taking about a serious injury that is visibly painful. If you feel that your child is in danger because there is a lack of supervision (as you indicated there might be), then it is completely reasonable for people to suggest you move your child to another DC.
    Can't figure out the signature thing, so here's the short, short version.....first daughter born on November 10, 2013. She was conceived through the magic of IVF after 2+ years of TTC.
  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930
    250 Answers 500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary
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    edited January 2014
    I really didn't expect so many responses to this post because I really wasn't making a big deal of it.  I don't understand why there's a reason to be rude.  I hear crazy things on the news all the time, I don't think it's unreasonable for me to wonder where my kid gets a burn from.  Again, it's not that I'm upset he got hurt, I'd just like to know how.  

    For those of you who have no problem with your kids coming home with bites or covered in bruises with no explanation, I find that's crazy.  Aren't you curious about what your child is doing during the day?  My 2 kids run around and wrestle all night, my son ran into a wall and fell twice the other day, yet neither have any marks on them.  I don't think it's unreasonable to question what happened.  To get upset about every little normal toddler injury is another story, but why should I be ridiculed for asking what happened to my kid?

    I think it's really sad the tone this post took.  We're supposed to be supportive of working moms and the hard decisions that have to be made and some of you have the nerve to tell me to quit my job or put my kid somewhere else.  If I was the type of person to get upset over every little mark, which I'm not, how is putting my kids in someone else's care going to help?  I would be a SAHM in a heart beat but we can't afford to lose my salary, so shove that it my face is really obnoxious.

    Nobody was rude to you. Many posters told you that you were being unreasonable for (a) expecting your son's teachers to he watching him at all times with such scrutiny to be able to tell the origin of every little ding, (b) getting worked up that, in the middle of informing all daycare teachers that the center was closed, the director didn't grill them for an explanation and call you back right away, and (c) not accepting the reasonable explanation you were given. You yourself said he doesn't cry out and concede right off the bat that that they not even know what happened (because he didn't cry out), then with the next breath say you still expected an explanation. Um. What? Being told you are being unreasonable is not rude.

    And no, it is not "obnoxious" for people to suggest you be a SAHM mom. They are offering a solution to you to alleviate your concerns that have been expressed here. You seem to not think your son's teachers are watching him closely enough for your liking, and the prime solution to that is being a stay at home mom. If it's not an option, then either accept that kids are going to get bumps and bruises (some coming without explanation) or move him to a daycare with a lower teacher to student ratio. If neither of those are options for you, then you need to learn to let some things go. Seriously.

    Making this big of a deal about a mark that does not even appear to bother him gives me a very frightening picture of your reaction to bigger boo-boos he'll be getting when he gets older and active on the playground at school.
     
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  • You say that you weren't making a big deal about it, but you are. For example, you expected a response on a day that the school is closed. Additionally, you got a phone call stating that the teachers were unaware of the "injury", but don't seem to except that response. I don't think most people have an issue with the fact that you inquired about what happened. I think it's more that you are making more of the issue than is really necessary. Responses might be different if we were taking about a serious injury that is visibly painful. If you feel that your child is in danger because there is a lack of supervision (as you indicated there might be), then it is completely reasonable for people to suggest you move your child to another DC.
    Actually I said I appreciated the call.  Of course I understand the teachers may not have seen it, especially when they don't see what I'm talking about.  I don't get where you found I didn't except the daycare response.  There have been quite a few nasty, rude, obnoxious comments.  I think I'm getting even more irritated because, as I've said several time, I'm not making a big deal of this, I'm not one to make a big deal or over react, and for some reason you all think its appropriate to judge me for wanted to know what happened to my son.  At lease the owner of the daycare was courteous enough to understand that.  Clearly this post has gotten out of control, and for some reason is actually making some of you fearful, so I think it's time to let it go.
  • Thanks @estwd2! Perfectly quoted!
    Can't figure out the signature thing, so here's the short, short version.....first daughter born on November 10, 2013. She was conceived through the magic of IVF after 2+ years of TTC.
  • RibbitGrl930RibbitGrl930
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    edited January 2014
    melOHdy said:
    Clearly she has "Closed" this post but I just wanted to point out:

    I don't think people are "fine" with their kid coming home covered with bumps and bruises.  However, kids do get marked up and there is not really anything you can do after the fact other than hope that it doesn't happen again.

    Also, I regularly find random bruises and scratches on MYSELF with no idea where they came from.  And I am, theoretically, under my own care all the time.

    But if you were watching yourself the way you should, wouldn't you always know?
     
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • Lame.  You were given great advice and told you were being ridiculous.  Now you've confirmed it 100%. 
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    Meery82[Deleted User]
  • Based on your recent posts here, you must be an absolutely neurotic, whiney person to be around.
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  • LOL at 'negative Judy comments'. Isn't it negative Nancy?

    OP, you are acting nuts. They're toddlers, FFS. They run wild. Bumps and scrapes are going to happen. Do you really think that it won't while your child is in your care? My guess is that it already has. Calm it down. And don't DD like an ass just because you don't like the responses you received. Tough shit.
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  • I don't know how 'covered in bites and bruises' (or however it was phrased) is the equivalent of a thumb sized mark on the back...anyway for the record I definitely thought the expectation to be called back with an 'explanation' on a day the school was closed was the most unreasonable part of the whole deal.
  • melOHdy said:

    Clearly she has "Closed" this post but I just wanted to point out:


    I don't think people are "fine" with their kid coming home covered with bumps and bruises.  However, kids do get marked up and there is not really anything you can do after the fact other than hope that it doesn't happen again.

    Also, I regularly find random bruises and scratches on MYSELF with no idea where they came from.  And I am, theoretically, under my own care all the time.


    All of this.

    Bumps and bruises happened. If there was a pattern where they had no clue what happened I'd be more concerned, but a single small mark under his clothes? No.

    You asked. They don't know. You still want an explanation and are upset there isn't one. That's the unreasonable part (for a small and insignificant mark of this size).

    We all like to know how our kids are hurt and what they do during the day. But we also realize that small marks may happen on daycare's watch--and on our watch-- that don't have a clear cause. It's not a sign of abuse or neglect. It happens.


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  • Maybride2 said:
    Based on your recent posts here, you must be an absolutely neurotic, whiney person to be around.

    OP has gotten all defensive and called me rude and other names multiple times. I usually avoid her posts at all costs but I couldn't stay away from one she deleted!
    You were probably just being a Negative Judy...
     
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    Meery82
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