Shame and Gratitude (ot)

on42

I just did a search for a question I had, and landed on another Bump board, TTAL. It was an old post, maybe two years old, or three years old. I started to read the answers after I read the question. Wow.

I cannot believe how mean some women are to other women. It was like sharks attacking a small fish. And it snowballs: You get one mean comment, and everyone else follows suit. It's like internet bullying. It's disgusting. It makes me feel sick and sad. Especially that some women can't pull out of this mindset that they're victims and that other posters intend to hurt them.

I feel so grateful that this is a supportive board; I've said it before, but after this morning's read, it bears repeating. Why can't women just be gentle with each other? We're all riding the same boat, even if we've come from different places. 

czarmom

Agreed, which is why I stick on this board   

Samuelismomma

Yeah u described it exactly. I stick here and pgal...

czarmom

@samuelismomma - hope you are doing ok, been thinking of you.

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gscoville

on42 said:

I just did a search for a question I had, and landed on another Bump board, TTAL. It was an old post, maybe two years old, or three years old. I started to read the answers after I read the question. Wow.

I cannot believe how mean some women are to other women. It was like sharks attacking a small fish. And it snowballs: You get one mean comment, and everyone else follows suit. It's like internet bullying. It's disgusting. It makes me feel sick and sad. Especially that some women can't pull out of this mindset that they're victims and that other posters intend to hurt them.

I feel so grateful that this is a supportive board; I've said it before, but after this morning's read, it bears repeating. Why can't women just be gentle with each other? We're all riding the same boat, even if we've come from different places. 

I understand what you're getting at, but at the same time unless you've been part of a board for a while you really can't get a true sense of what's going on just by popping on and happening to read a couple of posts.  This board is fairly insulated, not a lot of drama goes on here and that's a good thing.  On bigger busier boards, however, there's a lot of traffic, and unfortunately many of them are trolls and drive-bys, and those are the ones who typically get the snark.

I'll use TTGP as an example.  People post on that board all the time without reading the rules, which is a crying shame.  TTGP has an extensive website with a crapton of great information, both about TTC and board etiquette, a lot of time has gone into making it thorough, but still so many people post on that board without reading the rules and are completely insensitive to the fact that that board is a community, not just another google site.  Quite often the harsh reactions are to people who are clearly trolls, are out to hurt others, or have not bothered to intro, read the rules, or get to know the board at all.  Those are the ones that tend to go BSC and shit all over everyone who is rude, they out themselves as trolls very quickly and do not, in my opinion, deserve better treatment.  Anyone who is sincere and truly wants to stick around and be a contributing member of the board, and GIVE support to GET support, will apologize and be welcomed with open arms, as those are the ones who will take the time to read the blog and actually get to know how the board works.  We're lucky here, we don't get a lot of trolls and drive-bys.  Those busier boards get so much of that, they honestly don't have time to coddle every looky-loo who doesn't bother to do their homework. 

on42

I totally get that. But there are better ways to communicate. Being mean and bullish isn't necessary, and it's often not effective.