Maternity Leave Stresses

Dexter&11

Getting a bit stressed about my 6 month leave from work....I work in client management and have spent the past 3 years building relationships with my current clients. I have reports that have been adapted to meet my clients specific requirements.....my supervisor (who's my cover when I'm off) is refusing to stick to these adapted formats. I know this will lead to a million n one Q's from the clients....and mean I come back to a heap of sh*t on my return, with grumpy clients.

Getting a little bit stressed about it all now - don't understand why I spent 4 weeks effectively writing handover packs per client that could be used as idiots guide to when she's just going to bloody ignore everything I've put in there!

WaitWhoHadABaby

ahare2009

I understand your stress about leaving your work for someone else to handle, but be glad you are getting 6 months.  I am only able to take 6 weeks and am already dreading returning to work while LO is still so small.

slwprincess

I'm also taking 6 mos (unpaid) this time. Definitely nervous about what I will be returning to. But I just keep reminding myself that my methods work well for me but may not be good for others. If they truly get stumped, they will refer to my notes/instructions and if they don't, then they will clean up the mess. I figure things will be so different by the time I come back anyway (we are going thru a re-org) that it will be like starting over no matter what. I promise you once the baby is here, this won't seem so big anymore. Babies have a way of resetting our priorities ;-)

clozgoblu

I share some of your anxiety, though I feel incredibly blessed to be out for 5 months when the LO arrives (3.5 of which are unpaid). My last day is next Friday and I've been working hard to keep all my projects going with current statuses and links to all my WIP for my manager. However, my manager continues to ignore meeting invites to go over work status and my leave plans (this has been happening since October). So I'm frustrated with her and very anxious as a result of this dynamic. The culture of my firm is very conservative though, and very political. I can't leap frog her and speak to her manager about my manager's complete lack of engagement without creating a world of hurt for myself...but @slwprincess is right, our priorities will shift completely and we will not care (nearly as much) as we do right now. Keep your chin up, at least we have jobs to come back to and are able to take a good amount of time off. Think of how much more stressful it would be if we had to go back right away. (((Hugs)))) to all the mommas that have to - you ladies are superwomen!

btrebus

I feel your pain. I'm in hotel sales and I'm the only real sales manager. My director of sales doesn't even know how to work our sales program, and we have another bonehead who does all of our incoming proposals (which I hate). I've spent the past 3 months planning all of my events through the first of June bc I fear what these idiots will screw up with my groups. Even though I'm only taking 6-8 weeks off, I wanted to make sure my clients were well taken care of. I guess I wasted all of my time though, because on Friday my friend/former coworker sent me an email with a link in it and said "Congrats! Glad you finally found something better!" Confused, I clicked on it... it was a craigslist post for my CURRENT POSITION. I haven't gotten to talk to anyone about it because we don't have a real HR department and our GM works at the hotel 1 day a week. So I've been upset since Friday. 

btrebus

Yes, I told them that I will only be out 8 weeks maximum. We do have FMLA, that's why I was so shocked and upset when I saw it posted. I mean, technically they have to put me in a SIMILAR position, but don't have to give me my original job back-right? I still don't think it's fair and I'm very upset about it. 

Missy0483

Not everyone is going to do things your way. If it works for them while they're doing YOUR work, I guess you really shouldn't complain. It's never easy coming back whether 6 weeks or 6 months. I will be off 12 weeks, 9 will be unpaid.

inluv4life2

I'm glad you get to take 6 months, OP and I think your concerns are legitimate. You just have to trust that your prepped everyone the best you can and you'll be back and ready when your leave is up. It doesn't matter whether someone gets 6 weeks or 6 months off, leaving behind that part of you for someone else to handle is really hard. Just hang in there and know your clients will be really happy to see you when you return!

inluv4life2

njb750 said:

  It hard for me to have sympathy for you

Returning to work is hard for every person, rather they want or need to work. I have empathy for every mom as she navigates the unchartered waters of being a new mom and still kicking ass a a career or anything else she attempts. You could take 6 months if you wanted - you may have to make choices you don't like but you COULD take 6 months. Don't begrudge OP the time and plans she's made.

Dawizzle

I hear ya..I think stressing over work leave is just another way vent stress about having a new baby, period.

I've been feeling a little stressed about my leave this week and I know that once the time comes, I won't have a hard time forgetting about work while I am home with baby, but for now it's stressful and weird to pass off my work to others. It makes me feel territorial and defensive for some reason..even though I know full well they will miss me and be very willing to give it all back once I am back.  

It's just another way in which our lives are changing and we're losing a bit of control for now...so I get why you are stressed!  Walking away from your work for 6 months to take on the big, new challenge of a baby is a big leap!  No matter how long ANY of us gets to take it's daunting to walk away from something stable that you can control and that you understand into something new and uncharted.  

sdlaura

I'm not in sales, but I also have a client roster where I am the lead contact (I'm an investment adviser).  I only take a 3-month leave, but I will say that with my last leave, it really wasn't a big deal.  I prepared the other people who were covering for me before I left, and checked email while out in case there were any important questions.  In my experience, clients will cut you some slack for being out on maternity leave, and will be excited to hear about your baby when you return.

notreal2

inluv4life2 said:

Returning to work is hard for every person, rather they want or need to work. I have empathy for every mom as she navigates the unchartered waters of being a new mom and still kicking ass a a career or anything else she attempts. You could take 6 months if you wanted - you may have to make choices you don't like but you COULD take 6 months. Don't begrudge OP the time and plans she's made.

This is simply not true for most people who work and wish to work after giving birth.  Wishing to work merely means being able to go back to their current job. I had a diatribe typed, but it became mean, and I don't feel like getting mean right now.

Missy0483

I definitely could not take 6 months maternity leave and guarantee that I have a job to come back to. FMLA gives me 12 weeks and that's it!

ChinaDoll87

Same here! I'm only taking 3 months (wish I could have 6), but I'm a project manager and of course the only other person familiar with my position and clients went on indefinite med leave in November. I've been training a temp for the last month and it's driving me crazy. I just know i'm going to come back to chaos. I've been rearranging assignements based on individuals abilities, but I feel like I have crap for coverage and I dont want to have to think about all that could go wrong while I'm out and I definitely don't want to return to a huge mess of things. I've put together as many manuals and procedures as possible. Just hoping they can pull this off

ahare2009

Missy0483 said:

I definitely could not take 6 months maternity leave and guarantee that I have a job to come back to. FMLA gives me 12 weeks and that's it!

Exactly this.  Even with FMLA giving me 12 weeks, I can't afford to take that much time off unpaid.  I definitely couldn't take 6 months off unpaid, unless of course we didn't need my car or a house.

cbear47

FMLA also protects our insurance from being revoked during those 12 weeks. Yes, it's an unpaid leave. But FMLA guarantees we have work to go back to, and medical care during our absence. (Score another one for our Canadian -and most other places in the world- sisters!)

inluv4life2

We could all choose not to return, it doesn't mean you want to or it would work for your family. I have to work and I like it. But it is a choice. I never said one persons struggles are more or less significant. Just want to throw support out there for ALL mamas as we navigate this delicate life.

Dexter&11

I know I'm lucky in the 6 months off....just stressing about how long it'll take me to repair the damage done when I go back, whilst still trying to do the current stuff it's the control freak in me!!!!

slwprincess

Dexter&11 said:

I know I'm lucky in the 6 months off....just stressing about how long it'll take me to repair the damage done when I go back, whilst still trying to do the current stuff it's the control freak in me!!!!

I get this.  I really do.  Even when I only took 8-10 weeks off with my previous pregnancies, I dreaded coming back to whatever mess had happened while I was gone.  But you know what... it wasn't bad.  In fact, both times, I came back to find that some of my stickier projects had been resolved while I was gone!  Not because anyone else "fixed" it, but b/c the problem itself just sort of went away.  Amazing how that happens.  Like someone else said, people really do understand maternity leave and they won't hold it against you personally.  But my experience is that the ones that were mistreated by my colleagues were EXTRA happy to have me back and actually became a little less demanding once they saw the alternative ;-)

Dexter&11

@slowprincess I can only hope they're extra pleased to have me back and become less demanding.....I have 1 client who's a royal pain in the a*se anyway, sadly she has my mobile number and no respect for holiday/leave usually

mythaldo

I feel for you OP! My arrangement is different, but I had been doing what I thought was a great job getting my projects squared away so I could jump back in after 6-8 weeks out since my role here is pretty independent, but then they asked me to rotate through some of my other projects I had back burnered and put as much as I can on those to hand off to other writers instead. Letting me know about this earlier would have made me feel better about leaving than I do now.

I don't feel too bad for them though at this point. When I inquired further as to why I needed to put in all the notes I could on the other projects, I found out that they plan on laying me off, farming my projects out to other freelancers and offering me only a freelance position instead for future projects, which means loosing all of my benefits. Considering I've been at my company almost 6 years and get great evaluations, I was pretty crushed. And no, my workplace is not large enough for FMLA protection, so I had to scramble to get on DH's insurance and we're paying a pretty penny for it until they decide to cut the insurance (which I'm assuming will be the end of the month unless they actually have the kind of compassion I had hoped they would have initially ). I'm not even telling them I'm on DH's insurance yet so they will hopefully let me keep my primary insurance through the end of Feb. instead. I'm pretty mentally and emotionally checked out of my job at this point.

gingerm84

elf828 said:

I'm in sales and have to turn my accounts over to other people too.  That's kind of the way maternity leave works - other people do your stuff while you're out and they probably won't do it as well as you would.  If it's truly stressing you that much, go back to work earlier.  Six months of leave sounds like an amazing luxury to me so I don't have much sympathy.

Word.

JackieP1023

I get zero paid leave. And I don't qualify for FMLA as a part time employee (I work PT in IT-local government, plus PT secretarial at a local church). I have been super lucky so far in that both positions have been flexible, allowing me to work from home since 15w into my pregnancy. I plan to take as few days as possible fully 'off', as we really need the income. However, I will continue working from home until the 'standard' 6 weeks pp. After that, we will likely have to work out an alternative schedule, as our daycare doesn't have an opening until Halloween. Luckily, my primary PT job (IT) is willing to work with me-eventually working me into a full time position, once the daycare situation is straightened out. The secondary PT job has already mentioned the possibility of me taking baby to work with me, so I'm definitely counting my blessings!

Any actual paid leave sounds like a dream to me-but I understand the anxiety over leaving your work to someone else. Even working from home, there are some projects others have taken over-and I'll probably have to start them over when I go back.

kak808

I think everyone who is hating on the OP needs to remember that she lives in the UK where 6 months is completely normal -- even the minimum -- that anyone takes off for maternity leave. Many people take 9-12 months!  From my experience, anyone who would take *less* than 6 months in the UK would be majorly side eyed. You shouldn't begrudge her just because she lives in a lovely socialist European state that provides things like parental leave. Next you'll be complaining that her birth will be fully covered by her universal health care  

Anyway, now that I'm sure I've rubbed some people the wrong way (hahaha?), I bet *many* of us are concerned about leaving work, no matter how long we are gone, for some reason or another. I, personally, am not so scared about people messing things up (though I'm sure they will), but moreso how switching to part-time after the baby is born will affect my career in the long-run. But, in the end, these are all things we have to deal with when we start a family.

ETA: paternal = parental