Anger/Rage

captmerricka

The past few weeks I have had an increase in irritability and anger.  I dont know if it's becasue I got my period today and it's just building up.  My daughter (2.5 years) has been extra naughty and that doesnt help.  Ive posted before on this forum about how I have OCD/Anxiety that was triggered by pregnancy so I already deal with that.  I feel so bad that I lash out and haven't been able to control my anger. I feel like a terrible mom.  Today I even spanked her butt once and of course felt terrible and cried myself (even though she didn't).  I take seroquel and lithium.  I dont know what else I can do.  Does anyone have any tips?  Maybe its PPMD? I dont know.  I just need some advice.  I feel exhausted, have anxiety and absolutely hate mysef.

Ratpasta

First of all, dont hate yourself!  and you are not a bad mom.  This is hard!!  I don't think anyone ever uttered the words that being a parent is easy.  It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do....... but what's the saying?  The only things in life worth doing are hard?

anyways, I struggle quite a bit with anger and rage as a new dad and it has been really hard to get a handle on.  The birth of my son has brought out the worst in some of my bad habits and I felt that it was time for me to make some real changes for both my wife and my son.
    Wifey was a psyc major in college and encouraged me to get some therapy to get to the origin of my anger.  I'm only 4 sessions in but at the very least, talking openly to someone that's unbiased is cleansing for sure.
     That and i try to be as physical as I can - doesn't matter what it is, just to get the body moving.  Sweat and put a bunch of that anger into strengthening your body can do some amazing things.  If anything else, to get away and be alone and exercise is therapeutic by itself.
    One of the hardest things for me to do is not medicate.  There is a lot of alcohol abuse in my family so Im doing my best to not even go there.

captmerricka

megsandjohn

The rage is like the secret symptom of PPD that no one talks about! I have been there and it was terrifying to feel so out of control. I thought I was just a horrible person because what kind of person yells at a baby? Me. I really wish more people were brave enough to talk about this. You are definitely not alone and you are not a bad mom. You are a normal mom struggling with the extra stress of parenting a toddler! NOT easy! For myself I would lock myself in the bathroom for a little timeout until I was calm enough to not feel like wanting to hurt him. Sometimes I would step out the front door an breathe in the fresh air. I had to give myself more breaks and build in more self-care time. You have to make taking care of yourself a priority, as hard as it is. Do you have any support to give you breaks? Otherwise you have to get creative with building in little me-time during the day. Any little things that make you feel good. Hang in there. I know how brutal it can be!
https://birthtouch.com/2013/05/psiblog-hop-guest-post-struggling-through-the-darkness-my-journey-to-recovery/#more-1625

[Deleted User]

You are not a bad mom, you just need help. Make an appt with your doctor, or find a new doctor if you feel like the one you have isn't helping. I've felt the rage and anger too, and the guilt that follows. It is actually my main PPD symptom. Whether it's PPD or PMPD, you need help! So go get it. GL!