Visitation Schedule Issues

MaggieF516

Hi everyone, I was just wondering what everyone is doing for visitation especially if they have a very young child (i.e. my son is only 18 months)?

My son's father presently has him 2 overnights a week and my attorney tells me that this is pretty generous visitation for a child his age. My son's father is adamant that he needs more time with our son. In all fairness, he has been a pretty good father since we seperated 6 months ago. Before this, he was never home as he was working 80 hrs a week (possibly cheating as well but that's a whole other post) and had never cared for our son alone. I did nearly 100% of the work during the first year of our son's life while working full-time myself. He did not wake up for even one overnight with him. He was more like the "fun" dad who played with him when he was home, but didn't do any of the real work usually. Six months later, he seems to have gotten the hang of things, takes good care of him and my son absolutely adores his father. If anything, my son's father is almost too over-protective and shelters our son more than he needs to which doesn't let him grow to be independent (i.e. he would NEVER discipline him, he needs to eat strictly organic food, won't let him go to daycare 1 day a week for socialization, etc.)

Well we have our first court date coming up on Friday. My ex finally submitted financial info and he owes me $465/week. He is PISSED that he has to pay this much. He has been paying me $500 every month or sometimes every 6 weeks. He now wants our son 3 nights a week and continues to guilt-trip me over keeping my son away from him, ruining the bond they have, etc. Coincidentally, if he had him 3 overnights a week the child support would likely be substantially reduced. (My ex is also a pathological lying, narcissist and I generally don't believe a word he says, but I actually do think he genuinely wants to see our son more). So yes, he wants to see him more but it would also work out great for him financially as well. How convenient.

I can't imagine not seeing my son 3 nights a week. That's nearly half of the time! He says he will fight me in court, but I don't know if that's just a threat. Has anyone else been involved with a situation where the father wants to see the child more? I'm so stressed by all this. I might allow him a few extra days a month, but nearly half of the time seems awful for me. I don't want to be without my son that much, I can't even imagine it.

Just curious what other people's visitation schedules are like?

Any advice is appreciated!

MinnesotaMomma91

Personally... i think at 18 months i think what hes asking is fair. If hes caring for the child and doing what that entails and not just passing him ofc to a baby sitter so he can go party.

Im assuming he isnt alcoholic, a drug addict, homeless, or anything that would prohibit him from being a good parent when i say this. A child needs equal time with each parent.

Yes there are exceptions, but those exceptions are parents who dont want equal time or are a proven danger to the child.

eg214

Yeah sounds like what he's asking for is not unreasonable and wouldn't be so in the eyes of the court. Sucks, but it is what it is. I'm in a similar situation, but my ex is 800 miles away and wants to be a 50% parent, which is really not likely to be a possibility.

If they have a great relationship, it's healthy, and your son appears to love him and vice versa, sounds like you'll have to suck it up and chock it up to be what's best for your son :-/ Just count your lucky stars he isn't abusive, or a drug addict, or doing shady things that make you worry.