What do you think about time outs?

dulcemariamar1

Are you planning on using or are you currently using time outs. We are going through a hitting phase and I was wondering how you are handling it. We do the stern, no hit, that hurts, and show her how to use gentle hands. But I was wondering if anyone here has tried TOs for the really bad behaviors like hitting and biting.

dulcemariamar1

And whenever we show her how to use gentle hands, then she just hits me again so it is a bit frustrating.

dulcemariamar1

I like the idea of a time in but My LO would just squirm around so I would have to hold her down and it seems a bit silly to tell how to use gentle hands and then me using my hands to hold her down so that she will sit on my lap. I think the best thing is to say no hit and then put LO down and walk away. But when I have tried this, she was happy and just crawled away to explore.

dulcemariamar1

But I might be over thinking this

littleheaven

my pedi suggested that i do it for when she bites me, i just don't have a good place to put her...he said leave her in a chair or leave her somewhere when she bites me tell her no and let her freak out a bit...

the only places i have to leave her are her play pen, her crib, her pnp or her exersaucer....and i don't want her to think of those as bad places to be....

so normally she bites me when i'm holding her, so i'll just put her down on the ground and say "no biting" or "no teeth" and try and give her something else to bite....

i need her to stop this biting thing

dulcemariamar1

PrivacyWanted said:

Well we hold hands and talk about why we don't hit.  Will she get it at 1? Probably not fully.  But pretty soon she will.  You don't want to be using force but just not letting her off your lap.

If I dont hold her, she will just crawl away. Some times she will stay with me but most of the time she wants to crawl away. So do you just let your LO crawl away

 

brachysira

When she pulls the cat's tail, I put her in the exersaucer.  She doesn't really like to go in it anymore, but I'm not really sure she gets that it is punishment.  It does serve the purpose of preventing her from accessing the cat until he in through the danger zone and it doesn't reward the behavior by turning into a game which is what it is if I just try to distract her.

ta78

I didn't start time outs until 2 with DS and I'm not sure they did much until closer to 3. We redirect a lot and give firm no's. It takes time and lots of patience.

DCKate

It's probably too early for a time out at this point, right? We are just doing a lot of redirecting or explaining that we don't bite or hit and show her how to be gentle with pets, friends, etc. good luck!

jobiann

We do firm no's and redirect. We tried a time out once by holding DS (gently) for just 1 minute, it was a disaster. But, I think he got the point because he stopped doing what he was doing. 

mylittleladies1229

It's too early for a time out...especially leaving your child somewhere (chair, exersaucer).  A) They have don't have self control, that part of the brain isn't developed yet. They do not fully understand behavior = consequence.  I studied child development and have a master's in behavior analysis and still take continuing education on these very topics.  

Time in is ok...but really your child is not going to understand that this is a punishment.  I'm talking about the true meaning of punishment (adding a stimulus to decreasing a behavior).  

All you can do is model appropriate behavior and redirect.  Sounds like a broken record, but it's your only option until they develop self control.

rockyrollgirl

Too early for time out.

Wild_flower25

I would try it if redirection isn't working.  But mostly as a way to show that they won't get positive attention if they hit/bite at this age.  they really don't get it yet.

AshleyDehaven

We are also on the redirection train. The pedi wants us to start time outs, but i just feel that it is too young. He hits sometimes, and we take his hand, say no, firmly but not loudly, and show him "gentle", then we redirect him. If he does it again, we do it again. And again. And again. It is getting through to him slowly, the hitting is decreasing and only happens when he is throwing a serious tantrum now. Still a problem, but an improved problem. Now he doesn't do it and giggle, it isn't a game for him. It's still not an appropriate outlet, but he will get there. At a year old i think it is all pretty normal. They don't have any basis for cause and effect, right and wrong, it's all new and a learning experience for them. So i guess that is my advice, redirect, and be patient.