I do not think he will ever get it

2010weddinggal

So we worked out a shift last night since he had today off, I got the day shift and the 6pm-12am shift. That was fine by me at least I had 6 hours of uninttrupted sleep ahead of me. From 9-11 baby screamed nothing I did helped, I changed him, fed him, rocked him, swyaed with him and on the off chance he had some pain gave him some infant tylenol. My husband in all that time he screamed never once woke up, the room mate stayed out with me till I finally got the baby asleep. As he was going back to his room tld me he would keep his ears open and asked me if I was alright, I told him I was I have to be I'm a mom now. So I give the baby to him at midnight I told him he needed a change and a bottle, I went to sleep glourious sleep. I woke up to baby crying, I laid in bed cause baby usually cries when he is being changed or burped. Then I hear my husband yelling at the kid well sit still you pissed all over yourself, then I hear him mock crying at the kid. Ladies I think I have to leave my house, that was the first time the kid cried since I gave him to his dad, I'm really upset right now. He does not understand a thing about being patcient or being a dad... It may just be everything going on but I kinda regret having a baby with him, I do not regret my son not one little bit and I of course will do everything in my power to keep him safe and healthy. Yes I took the kid from him as well and went into our room he is sleeping like a little baby now.

edenkeever

Geeze. I'm so sorry he's being that way. Hugs.

2010weddinggal

35

greenbeanqueen

Wow. That is not ok.

aundrea1225

I'm sorry he acted that way. My DH does not have good patience either and I know it can be very frustrating. I hope it gets better for you.

jy725

Ugh. That sucks. My DH had a couple of rough moments with LO. I had a long talk with him and he's been great ever since.

2010weddinggal

I'm learning paticience too, I have always had really good paticinence (too lazy to look up the spelling @cashign2) but now I'm learning a whole new level. My roomate suggested some parenting classes and I'm going to look into it this week. Husband refuses to take classes so that is on him. I know I can do this all by myself, I just nevered imagined it would get to this point....

Chichigo

My husband told Mike to shut up during the first week. I lost it on him at that point, and he hasn't done anything that stupid since then.

If your husband is unwilling to attend parenting classes, I hope he will learn to follow your lead. Become the teacher and model calm, loving behavior for your husband. 

margaerytyrell

So sorry you're going through this. Hope everything works out for you whatever you choose to do.

lilypienmessimy

Ya as PP have stated, that's completely unacceptable. You need to have a serious talk with him. I'm sorry you're dealing with this right now and I sincerely hope he gets better.

mrsseguin

Wow.  That's terrible.

fauxvegan

Unacceptable. I agree with PPs that you need to do what's best for you and baby. Have a very serious talk with him and let him know what he did was so so wrong. Babies require a lot of love and patience and he needs to be open to learning that for the sake of his child. Tell him how you feel and hopefully he will realize that the way he is reacting is not okay. It's abuse.

TXmamatobe

Not cool. Don't put up with that type of behavior - you and baby deserve better. If he doesn't want to take care of a baby then he can get the hell out.

cammyisagirlsname

This makes me so sad for you. Maybe if you have a real serious talk with him he'll realize that he does need to take a parenting class. Or read some parenting books. I hope it gets better for you and I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. Hugs!

Aycul18

Totally unacceptable. Sadly I would give him an ultimatum: parenting classes or you leave with the baby.

n8swife

Your helpless baby, who is acting like a typical baby, does not deserve to be treated that way. You and your husband need to start parenting classes or therapy ASAP. I'm not saying you need the help but your H does and you should do it as a team. This behavior is not normal.

Lpegirl2013

That's completely unacceptable in my book. I'm a single mom, and I know both me and my daughter are much better off without biological dad here. It doesn't matter if he doesn't have much patience, that's his child and no father should talk to their newborn child like that. And if he isn't willing to take classes then he clearly doesn't care if the way he treats his child is okay or not. Despite how society can make things out to be, ANY dad is not always better than no dad at all.

2010weddinggal

Going to go hang out in old town pasadena with my mom, I talked to him and he feels I'm using his kid against him and that he does not need parenting classes. Told him take the afternoon to really think about it cause I'm not going to go through this anymore.

noslen0519

Aycul18 said:

Totally unacceptable. Sadly I would give him an ultimatum: parenting classes or you leave with the baby.

This. So sorry this is what you are up against. Hang in there and know that you are doing what you need to do for your LO!

Edited for spelling

2010weddinggal

@cashign2 I know you do not want me to look up spelling i was just poking fun at your grammer police award

mavgirl_73

This blows @2010weddinggal. I hope he is able to man up and realize he needs some help to work through this. Babies are tough. Hugs to you

2010weddinggal

Thanks ladies it just concerns me he does not even care that I may leave, yet he wants to post a poll on facebook and make me out too look like the bad guy.... Oh well child comes before anything ele now.

liz429

Thats pretty bad. Something really needs to be done about that whole situation. I hope that things get better. Call me crazy but the storied you see on the news now a days I wouldnt trust him with my child until he took some action.

thesportsgal

Did he at least feel bad for what he did?

hjweber

He needs to understand that the baby is completely innocent and does not deserve to be talked to that way.  If he can't control it on his own, he DOES need counseling.  

I know how you feel.  DH wasn't always the most patient, sympathetic father with DD1 when she was a baby (or now for that matter now that she is in her 'terrible 2's').  I talked with him several times and tried to 'guide' him into understanding that she needs love and patience.  

He is much more patient with this LO and I find myself getting frustrated more often than him this time.  I must add though, I never tell my baby to shut up or talk down to her.  

Sleep deprivation is a bitch.  Is it possible that could be playing a role in his behavior?  It doesn't justify it but it could be a reason behind it.  Also, could he have some depression going on?  Again, I'm not justifying his behavior but there may a 'fixable' reason as to why he's behaving this way.  

2010weddinggal

mrsashleyk said:

Thanks ladies it just concerns me he does not even care that I may leave, yet he wants to post a poll on facebook and make me out too look like the bad guy.... Oh well child comes before anything ele now.

He posted a poll on Facebook about your argument to see who was "right"?! As if the baby thing didn't make him douchey enough...

No he was going to and I told him go ahead and make sure you explain whyt he post exsists in the first place.

No he does not feel bad at all, he said that it was not out of line. He feels that nothing he did this morning warrants parenting classes. Like I said I'm going to leave for the whole afternoon and see what happens when I get back. I have a feeling once I leave the room mate is going to lay in too him. He is just waiting for me to go, the room mate already got on my case friday and nothing he said was not true. Ladies lots of creepy internet hugs I feel like I have no one to really talk to cause I do not like to talk to the people I'm close with cause it is our drama and you know how that all goes. Thanks for letting me vent here and internet cry....
:x

2010weddinggal

hjweber said:

He needs to understand that the baby is completely innocent and does not deserve to be talked to that way.  If he can't control it on his own, he DOES need counseling.  

I know how you feel.  DH wasn't always the most patient, sympathetic father with DD1 when she was a baby (or now for that matter now that she is in her 'terrible 2's').  I talked with him several times and tried to 'guide' him into understanding that she needs love and patience.  

He is much more patient with this LO and I find myself getting frustrated more often than him this time.  I must add though, I never tell my baby to shut up or talk down to her.  

Sleep deprivation is a bitch.  Is it possible that could be playing a role in his behavior?  It doesn't justify it but it could be a reason behind it.  Also, could he have some depression going on?  Again, I'm not justifying his behavior but there may a 'fixable' reason as to why he's behaving this way.  

Nope either way he gets 6-8 straights hours of sleep a night. He does not wake up with me. He will watch the baby for 4 hours so I can sleep but he always wakes me up with something that he can handle but shooses not too. I do not care I'm the mommy therefore I will always get up no matter what.

jenohouston

I'm so sorry your going through this.

notkateanymore

I won't repeat what I'm sure has already been said, but I personally would not stay with somebody who treats my child like that.

2010weddinggal

KateMW said:

I won't repeat what I'm sure has already been said, but I personally would not stay with somebody who treats my child like that.

I'm giving him the afternoon to really think about it, if he still denies the need to go to parenting classes then Kate I will be leaving I already told him.

notkateanymore

2010weddinggal said:

Thanks ladies it just concerns me he does not even care that I may leave, yet he wants to post a poll on facebook and make me out too look like the bad guy.... Oh well child comes before anything ele now.

A poll??? On FB? About what? Why is he acting like a 16 year old? Ugh.

Ltpugs

Oh my! I agree with the PPs. I can't imagine what you're going through. Lots of creepy internet hugs!!! I hope whatever decision you make you find peace and happiness! You and you're LO deserve so much more!
Don't hesitate to vent and cry here... I know what it's like not to want to share you're marital woes with your friends and family!

MamaGrillo

Hey.... Sorry you're going through this.
If I were him, I'd be looking at myself just because the roommate is more supportive at this point. /:)

Hope you can get help and work things out. New babies bring joy and stress and seriously put a marriage through the ringer. Talking helps though. Creepy exit hugs!

mamaj1220

Hugs to you. I don't understand why he thinks that is acceptable...I hope this afternoon gives you time to think as well as him. And I know how you feel not wanting to tell family/friends about relationship issues, I hope all works out for you.

KelseyKetchum

Wow I'm so sorry that is terrible! I hope whatever happens it all works out for the best.

mightymousy

Omg what a man child! He needs to grow the hell up! Good luck

melco19

Just want to wish u luck in whatever it is that you choose to do. He is being a huge douche! Can I say that?!

greenbeanqueen

No offense, but is your roommate getting overly involved in your marital problems not contributing to the issue? I wouldn't want a roommate all up in the middle of the arguments and issues dh and I have from time to time and they aren't even that serious. Plus it sounds like you have a male roommate, I feel like that would cause big problems with dh and I if our male roommate fussed at him about what a douche bag husband he was being.

Your dh is wrong, and the FB thing is wayyy immature. He does need help, but I feel like the roommate getting involved may not be making things better... Just my opinion.

KateVA

This post makes my hurt for you and the baby. I am so so sorry. You've posted many times about your husband and it just doesn't sound like a worthwhile relationship.

Also, if he yells at a newborn, how is he going to treat a fit-throwing toddler? I am a very patient person but if my toddler's fits could make my blood boil the way they did, I'd be scared for his reaction

cantsitwithus

This makes me mad. I'm really sorry you're dealing with this.

2010weddinggal

AmyG* said:

I will say that roomate may not be helping here.

roomate does sound like he has a good head on his shoulders, but the way he handles things could make your dh more argumentative.

In the big scheme of things if this is a one off behavior out of frustration from baby crying non-stop then I can see anyone doig a bit of yelling and a bit of mock crying at baby to see if the change of voice makes them at least pause in their crying.  of course that should't continue, but if it's the only thing wrong here, I'd talk about it and let it go and give dad a LOT of other ideas on what to do differently. and I've probably give dad less of an assignment than 6 hours straight with baby until you are sure he can handle it. 

BUT it sounds like there is a lot of backstory going on.

you need to get ideas on what to do about the non-stop crying yourself.  have you had baby evaluated for reflux? change of formula? parenting classes for sure may help, but if there is an underlying digestive issue going on better soothing methods may not be all you need.

good luck.

Baby just does not like to be changed or burped, he will cry at that all the time. As for the crying for two hours at a time, he does not do that often I'm sure he is just a little extra fussy this week cause he got circumsied. I cuddle him when he is extra fussy and I talk to him in a soft voice. As for the roomate thing ya he over stepped his boundaries and then told SO that he told me I needed parenting classes. So they ganged up on me as I was leaving, that is ok cause my mom told me not to fight anymore with him tonight cause it will make baby fuss more. I have alot of work to do tomorrow I need to find homes for three wonderful pretty cats, make sure I turn in all the babys paperwork for medical insurance, and then I think I will start to look for places to move too. I already got the threat of a lawyer which my mom told me will workout in my favor of course. I forsee the next week or so being long and tiring but at least I have a beautiful squish....