New here

jellybean529

Hi ladies!

I'm new to this board...back in September, after 13 years together and almost 9 years or marriage, my DH decided that he was unhappy and wanted out. To make a long story short, infidelity on his part was a huge factor in it. Our daughter is 5 1/2.

For most of our marriage, we lived in my home state (FL), but back in 2011, he applied for a job in MA without even discussing it with me. He wound up taking it, so we uprooted our family and moved there together. We had no family or friends in MA and I had never been there before until the day we moved in.

Shortly after we split (after living in MA for about 18 months), he told me he had been interviewing for and would likely be taking a job in Louisiana. So, a few weeks ago, I packed up myself and DD, got a new job in FL so that I would have some kind of support system (and cost of living in FL is a hell of a lot cheaper than MA!)

For now, we're renting a place with my sister (also a single mom of two kids, her DD is 5 and DS is 7). I'll be filing for divorce/child support/custody arrangements once I've established residency, in about 6 months.

XH is currently contributing financially of his own volition, and plans to come see DD twice a month, but with that being a 10+ hour drive I don't see that being realistic to maintain long-term.  I can't fathom why on earth he decided to make a move to be so far away from her -- from day one, he was always a very devoted, hands-on, involved father and DD was like his little "mini-me". The two of them were two peas in a pod. Needless to say, the adjustment has been huge and difficult for her. 

Having a hard time believing this is my life now...and kinda surreal being on TB now, on this board, since I was on TK for my wedding plans and BOTB and the trimester boards during my pregnancy (the BMBs weren't even around then!). But here I am. 

Anyway, I just wanted to post an introduction before I jumped into any conversation. If anyone has any pointers to throw at me, I'd love to hear them (though I did read through the sticky thread at the top and it was very helpful, so thanks for that!)

20thirteen

Welcome! Warning, we can be crass. I'm a single mom to a 7mo daughter, the ex and I dated for 4years and when I got pregnant he left me for another girl (who had a child of her own because he "couldn't handle being a father"). Jump right into any conversation, we don't mind.

MinnesotaMomma91

Welcome! Im the mommy of an almost 6 month old little boy. His bio dad was my best friend before to much vodka happened. Him and i are no longer on speaking terms. Ds has four half sibling three older.

jellybean529

Crass is totally fine with me...LOL. Sounds like I'll fit in perfectly!

Sucks about your ex. I don't get why a guy would NOT want to be involved in his own biological child's life, much less choose a child that isn't his over his own!

20thirteen

Doesn't suck for me his loss, my gain

tig594

Welcome! 

Then you have those of us whose kid's dad DOES want to be in the picture but is totally unfit to be with my DD alone.  It sucks because I do want her to have a relationship with her dad so she can make her own judgement but I don't trust her alone with him or his family.  Nope sorry.  Ain't happening.  We'll disappear before they spend time with her without me there. 

MinnesotaMomma91

Yeah im middle ground. Bd doesnt want to be involved nor do i want him involved.

jokimoto

First of all welcome and totally jump in, there's an amazing group of ladies here.

Secondly, my DD is a month. Xh left after 7 years of marriage for another women, 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. At the moment he comes on Saturdays to see DD, but his interest in her keeps waning. My DD will know no different, but as I posted in another thread, it hurts that he doesn't want to be with her more. I want her to be loved, to have more love than she knows what to do with. You never want your children to feel rejection. It's hard, but it's their choice, we have to be here to pick up the pieces.

Only knowing my own situation, single motherhood is very rewarding. I love being a mom, albeit for only a month.

Gamera3000

Welcome! This is the best board on TB by far! Everyone is cool here!

It seems like some men get interested in kids long enough to make a baby but then get bored and just drift off. I'm almost 33 weeks with my first. My BD decided he didn't want to stick around since the conditions for being around LO or me was that he not do drugs or be homeless. I'm so unreasonable.

tig594

jokimoto said:

First of all welcome and totally jump in, there's an amazing group of ladies here. Secondly, my DD is a month. Xh left after 7 years of marriage for another women, 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. At the moment he comes on Saturdays to see DD, but his interest in her keeps waning. My DD will know no different, but as I posted in another thread, it hurts that he doesn't want to be with her more. I want her to be loved, to have more love than she knows what to do with. You never want your children to feel rejection. It's hard, but it's their choice, we have to be here to pick up the pieces. Only knowing my own situation, single motherhood is very rewarding. I love being a mom, albeit for only a month.

OMG this reminded me of the scene in Hope Floats when Bernice's daddy drove off without her.   (

MinnesotaMomma91

tig594 said:

jokimoto said:

First of all welcome and totally jump in, there's an amazing group of ladies here.

Secondly, my DD is a month. Xh left after 7 years of marriage for another women, 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. At the moment he comes on Saturdays to see DD, but his interest in her keeps waning. My DD will know no different, but as I posted in another thread, it hurts that he doesn't want to be with her more. I want her to be loved, to have more love than she knows what to do with. You never want your children to feel rejection. It's hard, but it's their choice, we have to be here to pick up the pieces.

Only knowing my own situation, single motherhood is very rewarding. I love being a mom, albeit for only a month.

OMG this reminded me of the scene in Hope Floats when Bernice's daddy drove off without her.   (

Dude i cry like a little girl at that scene

20thirteen

Er... Never watched Hope Floats... 

tig594

lol.  You are a girl!  Didn't you mention once that you were short?  That would make you little, too.

MinnesotaMomma91

Im such a shorty. And as proof... thats bf and i at his senior prom. Bf was 6'2" at the time