Weaning at 10 months - sad :(

watermellens

So I think we're almost done BFing and I'm not ready  Little one is 10 months old and he was EBFed until 8 months and then we started to supplement with some formula. I work full time and just wasn't pumping enough as I would have if he was nursing (because he was always satisfied on the weekends and when we were together). We've had a roller coaster 2 weeks - he's been teething like mad, he was in the hospital with a high fever last weekend, I got AF back and had a huge supply dip and he just seems too distracted to even want to nurse. I think the milk flows slower obviously than when he has bottles and he just can't be bothered to wait for it. I'm only pumping 4-5 oz. a day while we're apart and I just don't think that it's worth it anymore. The only time we nurse is first thing in the morning. If I was nursing him during the day I'd say that it's worth it to keep pumping, but since we're apart, why am I bothering just for a few ounces a day when he's already getting so much formula? I've tried upping water, taking Fenugreek, I already eat oatmeal every day, etc. 

I feel like I failed because I didn't make it to a year (my goal) but I should be happy that we made it 10 months. I'll keep nursing him at wake up if he'll let me and before bed, I think I'm just looking for someone to tell me that it's okay to stop and just be at peace with it. Sorry, I know I don't post here a whole lot, but I'm just looking for some support. 

lars1226

Maybe you could think about it as just being done pumping at work. If you nurse him morning and night, you're still bf and could still make it to your goal of a year. You're not a failure, you bf your LO for 10 months! That's fantastic!

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July18Bride

I could have written your post exactly- to the T, except my baby is 9 1/2 months old. I can't seem to bring myself to offically stop, although I am barely pumping one full bottle per day. I am lucky if he even nurses once per day, he seems very distracted. I wanted to get to the 1 year mark too, but just don't see it playing out that way.

What has gotten me through the guilt feeling is knowing what an amazing thing I have done for 9 1/2 months! And the fact that all good things must come to an end at somepoint, whether its now or in 2 1/2 months.

fusionbride

I hear ya.  LO self-weaned from BFing around that same age (I think due to teething).  Such a bittersweet transition...  but I have to say, I did enjoy all the time I got back from stopping pumping at work! 

You've done a great job making it this far.

if you WANT to keep going, I'd stick with the fenugreek-- it really worked for me when AF started back up, and once I got over that first AF, things balanced out a little.  Nursing just morning (and night if you do that), is totally fine to keep doing until LO loses interest. And I don't see a need to keep pumping at work at all.  I wouldn't even feel guilty about it!

JilllyBean

Don't feel bad at all! i just started supplementing with formula and I actually feel such a relief. I am not stressing about not producing enough anymore. Whatever we do get, is great! You've done a great job!

TexasGirl81

That is fantastic on how long you bf'ed for! We women are to hard on ourselves! You literally did amazing!

watermellens

Thanks for your kind words everyone - I really needed to hear them! I strangely felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders when I decided to stop pumping. I didn't realize how stressful it's been. I'm going to try to nurse morning and night for as long as we can and if I stop sooner, no shame.

mommatotwo2

You have done AWESOME!! I hope that I can get as far as you have!

rm2013

OP I have to agree that while it may be sad to scale back, you've done an amazing job. Think of how many mamas decide to not breastfeed, or those who try but aren't able. Getting to 10 months is wonderful for your LO, and who knows you may be able to BF morning and night for as long as you want - you could go another 6 months or more, even. Best wishes and glad you're feeling better about it