Rules in fostering

sugardumpling

Does anyone have any tips for explaining to family members the rules when fostering? Our parents and siblings are excited for us. Some don't quite get the rules, I.e. Discipline, hair cuts etc. In laws are big on nose in the corner and at times yelling. My mom is not understanding rules re crossing state lines and hair cuts. Fwiw h & I are the first to attempt adoption. Coming to this point has involved a lot of research on our end, the MAPP classes and insight via boards like this. For them, they just want us to be parents and have seen us struggle on this path to parenthood. Any advice would be fantastic.

IdigDirt

Fredalina said it so much better than I could but it's your child so it's your rules. If you don't agree with their techniques (and parents always have some crazy ones) then say "thank you for your input" and continue doing what you are doing.

sugardumpling

Thanks ladies. In laws are not advocates of yelling but their inside voices are loud. I guess I am over worrying and will need to be consistent in how we parent.

Ihope

Bottom line is that the children you foster are not in your legal custody, they are wards of the state and therefore you must follow whatever rules are laid out to you by the state. It's pretty black and white, I think most people can understand that once it is explained. I don't think most people understand thy difference between having custody and being a foster parent.

mysticl

sugardumpling said:

Thanks ladies. In laws are not advocates of yelling but their inside voices are loud. I guess I am over worrying and will need to be consistent in how we parent.

This could cause you some issues because the foster kids could interpret it as yelling and it could be a trigger for them.  You may end up having to tell them to be mindful of their tone.  

Reread what Ihope said and pretend I said it too.