Success after IF

Whoa. TTC #2 Emotional Overload

I have been nothing but excited to start prep for our FET (roughly scheduled for March 3rd). I've loved focusing on G during her first year and have been genuinely thrilled to think about giving her a sibling.

Went in to start pre-cycle testing yesterday and started to get a pit in my stomach. It just finally hit me that the upcoming FET may not be successful. It took 2 fresh cycles before I got a BFP with G. For some crazy reason I've just been assuming that this first FET for baby #2 will be a success until yesterday.

Ah! IF sucks. I'm now trying to remember how to find that delicate balance between optimism and realism. It should be such an exciting time, but it's like I've just woken up to a harsh reality and my cycle hasn't even begun! What's wrong with me?!
dx: MFI 0% morph & low count. Occasional Anovulatory cycles.

TTC #1
  • IVF #1 4/21/12 - c/p
  • IVF#2 8/1/12 - BFP! DD arrived 4/10/2013.

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TTC #2
  • FET #1 3/18/14 - BFP! DS arrived 11/19/2014.

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Re: Whoa. TTC #2 Emotional Overload

  • Oh penny, hugs! That is the crappy thing about IF. Tons of money, hopes and dreams and you could still end up with nada.

    I do have to say that it one reason why we weren't ready to pursue treatment again until next year. So admire your courage!

    Not to blow rainbows up your behind, but something went right on your cycle that brought you Gracie and your frosties. I'm praying that your frosties will tuck right in! Are you doing one or two?
    TTC Since 3/2010
    Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
    Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
    Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
    IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
    ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
    ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
    Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
    Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!! 
    Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!

    TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014. 

    image
    PennyLane26
  • Hugs Penny. I know exactly how you feel b/c I already have these cold thoughts and I have not even set up a consult for an FET yet and don't plan on doing it for a few months.....

    It's so hard, but remember it DID work once.... And it WILL work again :)


    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13


    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

    PennyLane26
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  • Thanks girls! I knew you would understand!

    @Mrs.AmyDylan - we plan on transferring 1!
    dx: MFI 0% morph & low count. Occasional Anovulatory cycles.

    TTC #1
    • IVF #1 4/21/12 - c/p
    • IVF#2 8/1/12 - BFP! DD arrived 4/10/2013.

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    TTC #2
    • FET #1 3/18/14 - BFP! DS arrived 11/19/2014.

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  • There is NOTHING wring with you! When we started to TTC again all the old IF feeling came rushing back. It was like I jumped right back on that roller coaster with both feet. I had a ton of anxiety and there were many tears during my string of cancellations and postponements. But just like the first time it was all worth it in the end. I have everything crossed for you!!!
    image
    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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    TTC #2
    After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!

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    Surprise! Baby #4 is due in March!
    [Deleted User]PennyLane26
  • Nothing is wrong with you!  I totally get it and feel the same way.  Those old feelings came rushing back and I thought to myself, oh god, I remember how much this really sucked now!!  Hugs to you! 

    ___________________________________________________________________________

    Trying for #1 since May 2010   l   DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011

    IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks

    November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!

    Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26

    1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12 :)   **TEAM GREEN!**

    Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12

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    Trying for #2

    FET #1 - October '13 - c/p   l   FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled :(   l   FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN

    ~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~

    Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14 :)    **TEAM GREEN!**

    Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14

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    [Deleted User]PennyLane26
  • When I started TTC#2 for some reason I thought it would be easy, like we'd found the meds and process that finally worked. I was sorely disappointed cycle after cycle when it didnt work. I agree w/ some PP's that #2 was just as hard, almost harder in some aspects. But here I am 17weeks pregnant with #2. It can be done!! I've seriously seen lots of miracle babies around here!
    Either way,I have high hopes for you. I am truly hoping that FET #1 is a success for you. Hang in there girl!
    image DS 7.6.2011 TTC#2
    [Deleted User]PennyLane26
  • You're normal. It's tough. And having that pit in your stomach sucks. Huge hugs.
    PennyLane26
  • Oh penny...I'm sorry the IF mind beeyotch is rearing her ugly head! It STINKS! You will find that balance and G will certainly help you to do that. I'm excited that you're beginning on the journey for #2! Stay strong mama!
    MF (low motility) - Began stims for IVF#1 7/21/12
    ER 8/2/12 - 14 eggs retrieved, 12 mature and ICSI'd, 6 fertilized. ET 8/7 - 2 embies. Beta#1 8/17: 143! Beta#2 8/20: 590! Beta#3 8/22: 1,162! 1st US 9/4: one beautiful little bean with the best sounding HB I've ever heard!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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    PennyLane26
  • If doesn't go away, but you are strong and did it once you will do it again!
    Try to focus on the end result and chant its all worth it .
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story



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    Lilypie - (ugiy)


  • Stupid stupid IF! It takes so much joy and optimism away from us. On the days when you get discouraged, just look at G and know that miracles are possible. Wishing you tons of luck!
    Married July 2011; TTC since April 2011; DX: MFI
    IVF #1 in August 2012: BFP!
    L was born on May 5, 2013, 8lb. 6oz.
    PAIF/SAIF welcome!

    Our Project Make A Baby

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  • jmorta04 said:

    Stupid stupid IF! It takes so much joy and optimism away from us. On the days when you get discouraged, just look at G and know that miracles are possible. Wishing you tons of luck!

    All of this. Hugs mama!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Try to stay positive. I know it's really hard. Hugs!
    IVF, acupuncture, meditation and a miracle. 

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     Our sweet Valentine's Day FET.

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