Was told to stop talking about my daughter! (vent)

BrittianyM

I can't believe this. My work told me today not to talk about my daughter anymore. They said that someone on my team has been through a "similar" situation, not the same but "similar" and she has moved on. When I talk about Brooke is causes her to hurt.

Why should I stop talking about my daughter just b/c you have "moved on"? I am sick of walking around everyone elses feelings!

One thing that has kept me coming back to work is the feeling that everyone here cared about me and we were a family. They were so there for me when she passed but I guess 8 months is enough time to "move on". They just crushed me! I lost my daughter when I came back to work! Part of me feels like they are the reason she is gone and then they go and do this.

Sorry for the vent. I just needed a safe place to get it all out. Thanks for listening.

Bgirma

I am so so sorry that happened to you. I'm only three weeks out from our loss so I haven't gone back to work yet but I would be so hurt if that happened to me. Sending positive thoughts to you.

Dixon813

~~Siggy Warning~~



Wow!  Seriously?!  I'm so sorry that people are so insensitive.  It's one thing to not bring our children up, but it's another thing to say to stop talking about them.

Big hugs

schulme2

Omg, I'm so sorry you're going through this. How ridiculous and insensitive! I don't think I'd be able to stay there anymore.

stefuge

I cannot believe they said that you to!  How rude, insensitive, and completely ridiculous!  Other employees talk about their living children, don't they?  I do not get why it should be any different for you.  ((Hugs))

TwinkleTor

I agree @stefuge! How is it any different. If I want told something as ridiculous I would tell them to go find a better employee than myself. One that won't talk about something so painful! Ignorant pricks. Sorry for the vulgarity... It just grinds my gears.

princezjk

~~Sig warning~~









I am so sorry you have to deal with such insensitivity and downright rudeness. And not for nothing, but if this other co-worker has moved on so much, why does your talking about Brooke upset him/her so much? And why is this co-workers feelings given so much more consideration than yours? Ugh! I am so sorry you have to deal with such ignorance! ((((((Hugs))))))

DevonBedford

I'm sorry but that is bullshit.
I can understand others having trouble finding the right words to say to you, but the fact that you are comfortable talking about your angel should be a good and welcomed thing. It's therapeutic! I think this is absolutely ridiculous.

diamante1181

OMG! I can't believe how insensitive they are! So are you supposed to forget your child and pain just because someone doesn't want to deal with their loss,  or discomfort? Can you complain to your HR dept? I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

Noethola

***Siggy wanring***

Nope, nope, nope. That is not okay. I am so sorry they asked you to stop talking about Brooke!

stefuge

I agree with princezjk, why is this other employees feelings so much more important than yours? We listen to coworkers talk about their pregnancies, their babies, their children, and we either suffer through it or walk away. Why can't she do the same? It is not okay that they said that to you. Err, this is making me so angry for you!

jonahsma

Im so sorry you have to deal with a bunch of selfish, insensitive, heartless people. I would definitely put out a complaint. You love your baby and no one else knows your feelings but yourself, don't let them anger you , keep on talking about Brooke she is your baby, you shouldn't have to  feel like, or be told that  you cant talk about her..(( hugs))

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY***

That blows my mind that they had the nerve to tell you to stop talking about your child. I'm so pissed off for you; how dare they! I would definitely file a complaint, because that just isn't right. Wow. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of that. **hugs**

mingaling2

That is complete BS.  I am so sorry you have to deal with such insensitive assholes.  I am so sad and angry for you!

tuscanbride2007

I can't believe how insensitive people can be. You have feelings too and you should have every right to talk about your daughter! I am so sorry you are going through this.

((HUGS))

shandorfml2

I'd rip them a new one. I'd also ask who complained and talk to them about it personally. You are allowed to talk about and mourn your daughter.

jbranden12

Wow that is insane. How much do you need this job? I'd be inclined to go all out mama bear on them and share your story publicly. 

BrittianyM

Thank you all for the kind words. I was so upset yesterday! I still do not view this company the same way I did and I want to leave but I really need this job. If I was the yonger me, I would have told them FU, I quit. I so wanted too but it would not be the best thing at this point in time.

I know who complained and her situtation is nothing like any of ours. She has no right. I will contiune to talk about Brooke to only the people that matter at my work, my friends who have been there for me and still are. Everyone else at my work doesn't matter to me now.

 This girl is the new one on our team and she is mean to everyone. As why her feelings matter more than mine I just don't have the answer to that.

Thank you again so much for being there for me. Brooke has put alot of good people in my life and you ladies are more than included!

cawettig

I am in shock! How dare they!! Like pp said, what about the other freaking employees that talk about their kids?? You should tell them to not talk about their kids at all because how it hurts you!! Omg I am so pissed!! I feel like this is totally wrong and heartless! You NEED to go above and file a complaint. I would say something in front of your whole team! How dare they do that to you!, that is all that we have left of our babies!! How dare they try to silence it like it never happened! They need to apologize to you for how heartless and insensitive they were! If they don't I would sue their asses for emotional distress. This hit home to me sorry I am flipping out too! I wish we could all go and support you like when they tried to tell women they can't breast feed their babies somewhere all the women went there and breast fed their babies. Ugh!

cawettig

jbranden12 said:

Wow that is insane. How much do you need this job? I'd be inclined to go all out mama bear on them and share your story publicly. 

I would share your story with the local news station.

VyD81

That is so rude, I can't believe that they're that insensitive. I agree with people, what about the parents that talk about their living children. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Hugs.

jess123456

This is absolutely awful. I am so sorry. No one ever has the right to say that to you or any of us. We are always here to talk and listen to you about Brooke. Big hugs.

kz's_girlygirl

What.The.F***. Not only is that comment insensitive, but it is ridiculously narrow minded and selfish. I would absolutely file a complaint and/ or tell every single person who brings up their child/pregnancy/sister's brother's cousin's child, that would they please stop talking about it as it is hurtful.

People are d*cks. I am so sorry . Brooke was a beautiful and amazing baby girl, and she is still loved and remembered!! F the people who can't understand that.

cdale86

***Siggy***

UNBELIEVABLE!!!  I am furious for you right now!  DO NOT stop talking about your sweet baby, Brooke.  She is your daughter.  She matters.  She deserves to be talked about.  Also, you NEED to talk about her to continue healing.  I do agree that you should take it up with HR.  There is no reason that you cannot talk about your daughter because of someone else's feelings.  If that were the case, then no one should be able to talk about their living children or pregnancies because that is hurtful.  We all know that isn't fair either.  I'm also confused.  Why would you talking about your daughter hurtful to someone else?  I feel like people in our situation would only want to celebrate other angels.  It doesn't make sense to me all around.  I'm so incredibly sorry you are having to deal with this.  Please talk about her to the important people at work.  When you cool down a little from the whole situation, I would talk about Brooke whenever and wherever at work too.  It's your right and they need to know they can't control that.  BIG HUGS!!!

BrittianyM

Thank you again Ladies! I will contiune to talk about Brooke when and where I see fit. I will not let them conrtol that but I still really need this job. Just now very aware who really cares and who does not at my place of work.

Hugs to all of you for being here for me. 

BrittianyM

Thank you again Ladies! I will contiune to talk about Brooke when and where I see fit. I will not let them conrtol that but I still really need this job. Just now very aware who really cares and who does not at my place of work.

Hugs to all of you for being here for me.