12wks with Twins - Scared

JenyB6

New to this board.  Brief history I have 6 and 3 yr. old boys we planned on trying for one more baby and this time we are having twins.  We were so happy to be having another baby and then to find out twins we were like wow that is great.  After the a few weeks maybe around wk 8 or 9 when my pregnancy symptoms really started to kick in I am feeling a lot of anxiety.  I am terrified, scared and worried along with being happy and excited.  I feel really bad for having these negative thoughts.  I guess I am afraid that I won't be able to take care of these babies and my two boys.  I am hoping that all of these thoughts are being magnified because of the emotions of the 1st trimester.  I kind of feel lost.  I had my first trimester screening yesterday and everything looks really good nice strong heartbeats and both look really good.  I made me feel really good to see them all active on the ultrasound screen.  I guess I am looking for advice from other moms that have been there and reassurance that I am normal.

kbeach82

You are perfectly normal. There is absolutely nothing "wrong" with any of the thoughts or feelings that you are having. We conceived our twins via IVF and were aware of the possibility, but seeing our two little ones on the u/s for the first time was still a shock. Our oldest was 15 months at the time, and I worried constantly about being able to take care of him while I was pregnant, and was filled with anxiety about taking care of all 3 of the kids.

Yes, it became difficult to do some things toward the end of my pregnancy, but we're all still alive and DS1 is still a happy, healthy little boy :-) Our days are chaotic, and our house is loud. DH and I fall into bed exhausted every night, but this is our new "normal." And I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Hang in there, mama! You can do it!

KatieGummow

Congratulations  It will all work out!

kdarden15

Still pregnant with my little guys, and I don't even have other little ones, but I had a LOT of those feeling of anxiety when we found out. It has taken me a while to come around to the reality. It will be ok though! So many people have done this and have loved it!

JenyB6

Thank you ladies I really appreciate the support.  My DH is going what he can to help me and reminding me we are going to be ok.  My mind just seems to be racing all the time.

 

LegalLadyBug

I'm terrified. We were thinking it would be great to have another...and we ended up with two more. DH and I are excited, don't get me wrong, I just wonder how the heck I am going to do it. I knew it would be a challenge with a toddler and an infant...but two infants?! I don't know how I am ever going to have the time for all three and give them each the attention they need from me. Ugh. I'm getting anxious just talking about it haha.

JenyB6

I am there with you LegalLadyBug feel the same way.  I know my two will be 7 and 4 when the babies come and I am constantly talking to them about what it will be like when the babies come to try and prepare them.  Also, I am hoping that they will be helpful. 

Wishing35

It's normal! You will be able to handle it even though it might seem overwhelming right now. I was happy when I found out and then freaked out and anxious myself, gradually the shock wore off and I got excited again. I won't lie the first 3 months I cried as much as they did, part because of hormones and part because I'm a FTM and didn't know how to do anything lol. You already have two so you have all that experience which will make it easier hopefully.

ceechie

We have a 4 yo, 2 yo and wanted one more... Bam! Twin girls. I cried on and off the whole pregnancy. I still do sometimes, but man, they are amazing. It's hard, and a little crazy, in my house but it is so filled with love. My 4yo is amazing with them- she helps so much and truly loves them. My two yo is a champ. He is patient and sweet. And the girls are gorgeous. They are six months now and it's so cool to see them grow together.
One mom on here once told me "busy hands, full heart" and it is so true. You'll be in awe of how your family will come together to support you and the babies. Especially your kids. It'll be better than fine. Some days are super challenging but everyone's fed and happy (for the most part). Congrats! Truly!

Burberry0421

Oh, honey. You are so so normal. I have vacillated back & forth the entire time between anxiety & fear and excitement. The night I found out, I was SURE that I had just ruined our daughter's life. I get excited about my two little guys & then think about all the things we need, how different our life will be & how I'll never sleep again. Twins change everything. You are NORMAL. It's excitement, a blessing & wonderful, but it's life-changing. Every single emotion you feel is normal.

kgs0505

I have a 2yo and the 9mo twins.  I'm not going to lie.  It is hard trying to give everyone all the attention they need.  But it's doable. 

 For the last three months of my pregnancy I wasn't allowed to carry my son.  That was probably the hardest thing.  I hated it.  But thankfully my step-MIL is retired and was able to stay with us a lot and help out with him, and then after the girls came home, with them for a little while.  I am alone a lot with all 3 because of my DH's work schedule.  That part is hard, but we make it work.  I have a great babysitter who I routinely call so I can take my oldest out on mommy and me dates.  Especially if we are home on a long weekend and DH is working the whole time (very typical situation).  Keeps everyone from going stir crazy. 

You can totally do it.  Your other two are older and should be more self-sufficient than my barely 2yo owas when the girls were born.  The 6yo should be able to help out quite a bit even.  If the 3yo is already potty trained, what a bonus!  That was really hard, PTing my son with little babies, but it's so much better now! 

Just know now that you may need help, especially late in your pregnancy and early on with the twins.  Think of people you can count on to really help, and I'm not talking about what probably happened after your first two came along, which is everyone came to see the baby but you were trying to entertain everyone.  No more of that.  Someone comes and they ask if you need something, say YES!  Bring me a meal. Could you fold this basket of laundry for me?  Could you tidy up my kitchen? Could you go grocery shopping for me?  Do a target run.  Anything that will make your life easier.  You just have to ask.  I find it useful to keep a stash of cash or a bunch of gift cards for the purpose of having others do errands for you.  Most people are glad to do these things, but seldom think of them on their own.  My aunt always brought me a lunch when she came over.  I can't tell you how much I appreciated that.  I probably wouldn't have eaten otherwise.  My step-MIL always did my laundry, my other MIL always cleaned the kitchen.  My mom visited and did everything except driving anywhere. 

Again, you can do this!  Having twins after my singleton meant that the newborn stage was a piece of cake.  Still had sleep drprivation and all that, but I knew what was normal and what to do.  And that was what made it easier than if I had two babies as the first babies.

JenyB6

Great thank you for the insight it helps.  I have already been talking with family and friends about needing them.  I am definitely going to be sure to get all the help I can when it's offered.

JenyB6

Thank you truly to all of you it's so nice to be able to talk openly about my fears. 

BabyCarryingVessel

You are sooooo normal!! Is it bad that after finding out we were having twins I sat and pondered why God was punishing me? Seriously, some irrational thoughts went through my head! It's an amazing blessing and I wish I could go back in time and tell myself this! Your older boys will have a blast and you will take each day as it comes. Good luck!!

lsmith0917

The exact sane thing happened to me. We wanted one more and ended up with baby #3 and #4. We have a just turned 5 yaar old and 3 year old so can definitely relate. Hang in there--you will be ok but what you are feeling is normal. You will be busy but you can do it! Good luck!