WWYD: Daycare question (LONG)

Lovenyc

Background: My son is 26months old and has a speech delay. He begins speech therapy next week. He has been in the same daycare since he was 4months old. He was the poster child for daycare illness. He basically had an ear infection for what felt like 18 months. He has had two sets of tubes and his adenoid removed.

Question: I've started to get the sense my son is being left behind a bit. His peers are really progressing with their speech while my son is still struggling. I see friends from the daycare post videos the school sent them of their child saying words with a teacher or participating in a project. I will get random pics or videos of him doing other things like painting, quietly reading a book or running around. Not really showing any "learning" so to speak. I have pushed the director and the teachers to give me more feedback. Did he participate today? Did he do the art project? Did he try to use his words? They promise they will try to do more of that.

He is in a class of 17 kids to 2 teachers. I feel that class size is simply too big for him. My heart breaks to think he is not able to keep up. There is also a huge amount of teacher turnover at this school. I'm told they do not pay well despite being a well-known school.

I do not want to pull him from a daycare environment. He thrives on the social interaction and truly loves going to "school" but I think it's time to look into other facilities. I have my reasons for not wanting to hire a nanny.

I found one newer place that has the same size class but with a 3rd teacher. The director there told me there are two other children his age that have a speech delay and they have been thriving.  They also do small group learning instead of one big learning group of 15.

Would I be doing more damage to him by taking him out of the only school he has known?  There's also the chance he could qualify for the school district's preschool when he turns 3. He would get an IEP with a dedicated speech therapist. That would be HUGE.

I know I'm rambling but I just don't want to make the wrong move. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. TIA!

kcisthebombdotcom

I would most definitely pull him. he's got a long way to go to three. i wouldn't send my well developing four year old to a school with those ratios--nevermind a developmentally delayed two year old.

Lovenyc

Do you think he would do better with the same # of kids but with 3 teachers? So 16 to 3?

I am struggling to find a smaller ratio. The smallest I could find was a class of 8 but with just 1 teacher so the ratio is the same. I'm so frustrated.

kcisthebombdotcom

Lovenyc said:

Do you think he would do better with the same # of kids but with 3 teachers? So 16 to 3?

I am struggling to find a smaller ratio. The smallest I could find was a class of 8 but with just 1 teacher so the ratio is the same. I'm so frustrated.

Yeah--the ratio is what's most important than the number of kids.overall.

Lovenyc

Thank you!

Assembly_Reqd

For us, change ups have been VERY positive. There have been plenty of changes in therapists through EI. There were ones that i really liked to whom we had to say goodbye. The new folks always bring something different to the table.  Nate gets the benefit of being a mystery they have to figure out and I think it ups his performance. He isn't stuck in a rut of sameness, and he performs better because he doesn't know the expectations, so he assumes they expect more. YKWIM?

I say go for it. No decision is permanent. If it doesn't work out, you can always change back. Kids are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for.

funchicken

It sounds like the other school you found would be a better learning environment for him--lower ratios, less turnover, and familiarity with speech delays. He will probably need time to adjust, but that's to be expected for any child that age.

Lovenyc

Thanks ladies. I am going to look at two schools tomorrow. Both have better ratios than his current school. One has a 1:6 which is awesome. Thanks for the input.

lite-bright

I think we as parents can sometimes overestimate the potential negative of a switch, and underestimate the positive. Every switch we've made for my kids (one with ASD and one typical) has been good for them, even if we were nervous about it. 

Once you recognize issues that are holding your kid back, IMO, and try to find a situation that addresses them, that move makes more of a positive lasting impact than the temporary adjustment of a new preschool/daycare/etc. At least in my experience so far! 

Lovenyc

Thanks. I don't think a smaller ratio will necessarily help him catch up with his speech. I do feel confident that will come with time and his therapy. His lead teacher told me she wished she could spend more 1-on-1 time with him but the class is simply to big. She said he WANTS to sit with her and learn but she can't dedicate more than a few minutes of 1-on-1 time with him.

mommytoconnor

I was in your shoes a year ago. My son has SPD and expressive and receptive speech delays. At 2 yrs old the OT and ST both agreed he would probably benefit from a daycare type setting for the social interaction and mimicking of speech. I agreed and honestly needed someone to say this to push me into doing what I already felt would be good for him and me too. So I enrolled him in a well known daycare who, at the time had a director who had a special needs child of her own and was very well versed in this and the teachers had extra training in this area so I signed him up. About 2 months into this the director up and left with no notice. Her replacement had no clue about anything and was only interested in writing my child up for anything and everything. The teachers stopped being so "willing" to do what I had been told they would do. They had a small ratio of teacher to students and a low turn over rate. This suddenly changed and one day I went to pick him up and had 8 write ups to sign. From everything about him not napping to yelling at someone, blah blah blah. I was like he is 2. Are you kidding me? I said I am not signing anything and I pulled him out that day. I searched and searched and interviewed centers all over. On the very last one I went to visit, I got a feeling I never got at any other place. I actually cried. My mom actually cried. There was this feeling of being welcome. They have a program called first steps and so someone comes in every week to observe the kids and give recommendations for if they could benefit from ST,OT, or if they see some sort of concern for behaviors or health. My son adapted very well to his new school and is thriving and talking up a storm. I also got him into early preschool thru district for ST when he turned 3. I would definately pull him and place him in another facility. Do your research and find one that has experience with special needs and with lower ratios. Your child will benefit from this greatly. Sure there will be a short adaptation time but that is to be expected. MY son has so many friend at his new school and we love it. It feels like family and they love him too.

Lovenyc

Thank you so much. I toured several schools yesterday and I found one that I just love. It is a newer school which I toured about a year ago. I was impressed by it then but it was just opening and seemed like a ghost town (had I known then!) 

I can't explain why exactly but I got this overwhelming sense of calm when I walked in the door. The class ratio will never exceed 1:7.  His class is 1:6 with 3 teachers.  Max class size will be 16. They only transition to new classrooms every September. His current school transitions every few months. The director was so warm and patient. She listened to all of my concerns. She explained that they had several children at the school who receive services throughout the day. In fact, there is another boy who will be in my son's class who has a severe speech delay. His therapists work with the teacher team to give them techniques to help this little boy. This can only benefit my son as well. 

I made the decision to enroll him a few hours later. I KNOW in my gut this will be a better fit for him. Not to mention they are closer to my house, have better hours and are only closed on major holidays. 

Here comes the BUT....

I was overwhelmingly sad about telling his current school. They truly love my son. The older teachers agreed that this is the best move for him. The director said I have to do what's best for my son but said he is terribly sad to see him go. He said everyone who has met him has fallen in love with him. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones but I was in tears for most of the day. Why am I so sad? I guess it's because I am so sad to take him away from the only friends he has ever knows. The only place he has ever known. We do not have any family near us so this school has been like my village. Again, I KNOW this is the right move but the tears are still coming.

Junebug060609

My 27 monther is in a class that has a 1:6 ratio. Even then, the teachers have trouble giving him the 1 on 1 he needs. Granted DS has bigger issues than just a speech delay. My point though is that the 1:9 ratio you mentioned seems big to me.