Ready to give UP! long.

jdb04d

After 2 tongue tie laser procedures, the last was 2 weeks ago and HORRIBLE, my LO is now "refusing the breast" because we've been supplementing with a bottle of expressed BM due to his lazy suck, poor milk transfer and weight gain issues.

We've seen 2 LC's and now we're seeing a speech therapist to improve his lazy suck.

Oh and I've used a nipple shield for the past 8 weeks. And it takes him an hour to nurse (hence the poor milk transfer).

I'm ready to quit. But part of me says, damn, I've already done so much why stop now? But I absolutely do not think he can improve. I don't see how it could happen.

EPing is an option for me, but that would be SUCH a PITA.

Words of encouragement and/or advice are appreciated.

jennypenny*

Never quit on a bad day. That was the best advice I received. My lo is a sllllooooowwww nursed. He just is. We used a shield in the beginning, we weaned off of that and he is still a slow nurse.

Can you work on weaning off of the shield. I started removing it mid session once he had gotten a little too eat and was more relaxed. Then I git rid of it all together during the day abd then eventually at night. It did cut 15 mins of our nursing time, but he still takes 30-45mins.

You are doing great, just keep offering the breast.

opheliainwaders

This is going to sound weird, but can you see a chiropractor or IBCLC who specializes in TMJ massage to see if it improves his latch? We had issues with latch, milk transfer, etc., and also used a nipple shield, and I credit the massage with helping make weaning from the shield possible.

lars1226

Agree with PP, don't quit on a bad day. Hang in there mama!

My LO was also a slow nurser, he was on for 45 min every time he nursed pretty much through my entire 12 wk maternity leave. But he is a boy and boys are lazy and like boobs so there's that   

eta EP would be annoying but you could also share night feedings with your partner which is nice.

OntheWater

I agree- don't quit on a bad day. Set a goal right now- 2 weeks? And see where you stand then. My LO had her tongue/lip tie cut at about 8 weeks. While nursing improved immediately, It was still several weeks before her transfer got better and faster. At about 11-12 weeks, we dropped from an hr to 40 minutes and at about 14-15 weeks we dropped to half an hour. If you want to stick it out, I promise all will improve with time. In the meantime, subscribe to Netflix and take a comfy seat!

dmurrie

I'm going to get blasted here... but it's important that someone lets you know. It's OK to quit. If you've reached your breakung point, it is perfectly ok, and not a lot of people will tell you that.

Per my LC's advice I "tried to nurse" for 1/2 hour, then pumped and bottle fed my DD a combination of pumped milk and supplemented with formula for 7 months. It's OK to quit. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. It was better for all of us (my attention-craving daughter included) when we quit. I was less stressed, my DH was stressed and tired of seeing me crying slk the time, and DD was happy because I could finally spend some time with her that didn't involve frantically trying to "make it work.". She smiled more and laughed and played more. I smiled and laughed and played more. It was amazing.

Melanded02

My LO had the tongue tie clipped about a week ago. We still struggle with breast feeding but we still try. I agree don't give up in a bad day, but if you do go to pumping soley (and it's okay if you do) you do need to focus on the good...babe can still get your milk if you can pump:) I found if I'm relaxed and not anticipating the fight at the boob we do better. My LC suggested taking rescue remedy (for me) just before trying to breat feed, it helps break my anxiety about breast feeding. We are more successful now, but there are still bad days when she has to take a bottle. I soley pump at night and attempt the boob in the day. We still have days she won't take the breast, but I'm learning it's okay as Long as I try. Good luck! I know it's tough, I'm still struggling with it too.

jdb04d

@dmurrie - THANK YOU. I just need to accept it's OK to give him formula!

I think y'all are all right - I just need to relax and take it a day at a time. thank you!

pumpkinwife07

I 100% agree with dmurrie. Sometimes it's just not worth it.  You need to be happy and enjoy these moments with your baby. Your baby will be perfectly fine if you decide to formula feed. Best of luck.

marczewski

Just some encouragement: My DS had tt clipped in the hospital and it never made nursing better. We then nursed with a nipple shield and struggle with hr long feeds, poor milk transfer, and saw three LCs over a period of about 7 weeks. Finally, a LC suggested that he was still tt. We had a revision done at 8 weeks. Still continued with the nipple shield and long feeds. Had another revision done at 11 weeks. Still continued with the shield until about 13 weeks old. Those first 13 weeks were terrible. I had to pump after every feeding so my life was consumed with hr long feeds followed by 20 minutes of pumping every 3 hrs. I dealt with the worst nipple pain I could ever imagine. Even when we did finally get rid of the shield, I was in so much pain by the end of the night that I had to pump and bottle feed for several weeks overnight. One day about 2 weeks ago the pain went away and it was the best feeling in the world. I have not given my baby a bottle in weeks and it feels great. Like you, I spent many hrs crying. My husband wanted me to EP bc he was sick of seeing me upset. I really thought I was going to have to EP because I was convinced breastfeeding would never work. But at the same time, I kept telling myself I had worked so hard and put so much time and effort I couldn't just give up that easily. Breastfeeding has been the hardest thing I have ever done but now it's finally going well and I'm so glad I stuck it out. Like you, I was convinced it would never get better and although it took a long time, it did get better! I too have been going to a chiropractor with DS to help with latch and that has been really beneficial for us.

Breastfeeding is really hard. I agree that you should pick some feedings and bottle feed. See how you feel about that and take it from there.

Goodluck with whatever you decide but I just wanted to share my story for some encouragement. Just when you think it will never get better, sometimes it does.

jdb04d

Wow, thank you thank you thank you @marczewski !!! We have very similar situations - and yours is truly encouraging for me.