Introduction

Acegoat

Hello Ladies!  I just wanted to introduce myself as I begin this Secondary Infertility journey. I am feeling really alone right now.  I have a wonderful DD born in April 2012 (She was conceived naturally in 4 cycles after I stopped birth control).  My husband and I have been trying for 13 months for our second with no luck.  I go to see my ob/gyn in a couple weeks and I am sure I will begin testing/referral process - not quite sure how this works.  My big question right now is I am a huge emotional wreck , so many mommies in my mommy group got pregnant right away and of course some have had their babies already and it seems every week some other friend is pregnant.  I just get so jealous every time I hear someone else is pregnant and wonder why my body hates me, I end up crying and then I feel bad that I am crying when I have an awesome daughter and feel horrible that someones joy in pregnancy makes me so upset these days. 

Any advice with anything SI related is much appreciated!  Look forward to getting to know all of you.

-Alanna

GraceyandTroy

Those feelings are totally normal.  I go back and forth between longing for a second baby and then feeling guilty that I'm not satisfied with my first.  You are not alone.  Welcome to the board.  Hope you get some good answers after your Dr visit.  

Are you charting?  If you're not, start right away. You can use fertility friend dot com for free and it will send you tutorials on how to chart effectively.  Also, I highly recommend getting your hands on a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  Even if you are working with a doctor, you still need to know your own body and know what's going on so that you can ask the right questions and seek the right advice.  

I tend to be in the more holistic/natural remedies camp, but a lot of the ladies on this board can offer great advice on more aggressive approaches, too.  There's a a wide range of experiences here.

Momarazzi007

After a year def get tested. Bodies change, especially after child birth, and sperm counts can tank for no reason at all! It's good to try and find a reason why so you gave a plan of attack (IMO- infertility is a war!!!) that being said be your own advocate and if something feels wrong don't take the doctors word until you understand and are ok with it. I waited 2 years to get tested and found out that it was mfi, have to do IVF, and now 5 years later looking at starting up again in March. Had fresh cycle, FETs, ectopic a, miscarriages, lost a twin... Know the probes in a first name basis. So if you need some science baby info (lol) I'll be happy to help!!!

Edit to add: I only say get tested now as over year and you got ku pretty easy first time around- GraceyandToney are right too- good to know all the ins and out of cycle- but if severer problem (like w my severe mfi- it can only help so much, and personally I'd want to know sooner if there was a fighting chance or not going forward).

Amerbutt81

Girl, all those feelings you just said--- took the words right out of my mouth.  I had 16 friends in 5 months announce their pregnancies.  A lot of the pregnancies were the second child, and some of them younger than my son! Add in the fact that my first pregnancy was unplanned and I bitched and moaned about it the whole time, and I have a lot guilt for not appreciating what I already have.  Trust me... you are among friends here.  

I second the idea of charting, and the book purchase.  I just started charting for the first time, so we can be rookie charting buddies!   The book is so informative.  After reading it, I am amazed what your bodies does, and how hard it is to actually get pregnant in the first place.  

Jeffreysmom24

Welcome to the board! I can totally relate to everything that you wrote. I have a son that was born in August 2012 and have had 2 CPs since then ( I am also AMA so time is not on my side). Last year was so hard - I felt so alone as well, guilty for not just being grateful for my son and super jealous of close friends and those on my BMB who got pregnant again so fast!

Anyway, I hope this board will bring you some comfort. Good luck to you!

freakyfast

All those feelings and then some... Welcome and Good Luck! 

KC1212

Welcome and ((hugs))!

tuscanbride2007

Welcome! I understand the feeling of getting "lapped" all too well. 

((HUGS))

EmilyB15

I can completely understand your feelings. You're not alone at all. I get so upset when I hear about pregnancies. I completely agree that you should start charting and I think you should begin the testing/referral process at the same time. Sometimes it can take a month or two to get referred, so you might as well be charting in the mean time. It took us 18 months to conceive our first and that was pursing IF treatments the whole time because I knew going in to TTC that I had issues. People kept telling us we should be waiting a year before pursing treatment, but I ignored them because I knew I had medical issues and didn't want to wait. I'm glad I didn't listen because it still took 18 months! You know your body better than anyone and you are your own advocate. This board will be a great support for you!

CheesyPeas

Oh honey, I know exactly how you feel and it sucks! Welcome to the board. This is an awsome group of ladies to share your SIF journey with.

Acegoat

Hi!

Thank you so much for the warm welcome - you sound like an awesome group of ladies!  Feel a little better knowing I really am not alone in this journey.  (Especially after seeing all the lovely newborn/pregnancy photos on my Facebook page today!)

I have not read the taking charge of your fertility book but will look into it.  I am charting and taking OPK tests.  The first 6 months of ttc I was breastfeeding and I ovulated late in half the cycles (late as in past cycle day 22).  The past 6 monthsI have ovulated on a more normal day (cd 14-19) but it still varies (one month I ovulated super late again).  I know I am ovulating because of a temp shift (I will admit I only take my temp after period has ending and stop after a few days of temp rise - this has been recent because taking my temp was making me stress out even more - so I take temps until ovulation is confirmed.  I definitely have a fear that something isn't right in my body or my husbands but all the testing freaks me out - I hate doctors with a passion. 

Thanks again for the support! Look forward to getting to know all of you.

-Alanna