When do you put them to bed hungry? :-/

ASmallWonder

I'm struggling with this.  DS1 apparently eats great at school but at home he eats for shit.  He swears up and down that he doesn't like whatever we're having, with few exceptions.  I think we've been too lax with letting him have a "snack" before bed (like a yogurt) 's because I want to know he ate something.  Since we've been putting our foot down on that (eat your dinner - ZERO snacks) he's still not eating much but then starts freaking out that he's hungry right as we're getting ready to put him to bed.  Tonight he broke down in sobs that he was starving and wouldn't go to sleep.  I finally caved and let him have bread (I wasn't about to give him something to be excited about) and let him know that tomorrow he has to eat dinner when it's served PERIOD.

I'm such a fucking sucker though.  DH swears he wasn't hungry and is using it as a ploy at bedtime but the idea of sending him to bed when I know he didn't eat much at all just kind of kills me :-/

TiffanyBerry

Save his dinner.  When he says he's hungry, offer it to him.  Make sure there is something in it he generally likes to eat, of course, but he gets dinner or he gets dinner.

ASmallWonder

See that's the thing.   He will often eat what was for dinner at that point but I'm annoyed that he's waiting until 8:00 on the dot to all of a sudden decide he's ready to eat.  It's like at that point he finally realizes shit got real and no better food is forthcoming so THEN he'll eat lol

ASmallWonder

MabelShesABiotch said:

If my boys don't want dinner they are offered a healthy alternative like yogurt and carrots or cottage cheese and grapes. I'm not preparing a separate meal but as long as what they are eating is healthy I give them what they want. Why can't he just have a yogurt for dinner instead?

Every night?  I hate the idea that at 3.5 he's deciding he's not going to eat anything but yogurt.  Especially when it's something I know he'll eat.  Like tonight was enchiladas that he's eaten in the past and he loves anything that comes with a side of sour cream  But tonight he ate a couple bites, declared himself done and then at 8 the dramatics started.

MrsCodeMonkey

I offer bread or crackers if DD doesn't eat much at dinner.

NotSharknado

Dd does this every night right before bed and she eats her dinner. I know for a fact that she's using it as a ploy to stall bed time. I do not give in.

LaurelBee

I would start a timer, remind him that he has X amount of minutes to eat his dinner. If he doesn't finish by , say, 7:30, then he has to wait til morning. I wouldn't offer him alternative dinners, but maybe offer a switcheroo "you can have more cornbread when you take 3 bites of chili." That way he gets to eat his favorite part of the meal, but still gets a few bites of the healthier option too. Hugs mama. 3yos can be manipulative little suckers!!

LadyXaverian

MabelShesABiotch said:

MabelShesABiotch said:

If my boys don't want dinner they are offered a healthy alternative like yogurt and carrots or cottage cheese and grapes. I'm not preparing a separate meal but as long as what they are eating is healthy I give them what they want. Why can't he just have a yogurt for dinner instead?

Every night?  I hate the idea that at 3.5 he's deciding he's not going to eat anything but yogurt.  Especially when it's something I know he'll eat.  Like tonight was enchiladas that he's eaten in the past and he loves anything that comes with a side of sour cream  But tonight he ate a couple bites, declared himself done and then at 8 the dramatics started.

Yes, every night if they don't want what I made they can have a healthy alternative. As long as he's eating something healthy in its place I don't see the harm. I know most people disagree with me but that's how I am.

Nora is very much the same way, and I do the same thing as Mabel. I don't think it's a big deal. I'm ok with her making some limited choices about what she eats. Like Mabel, I'm not going to cook her a separate meal, but if she wants an apple and cheese for dinner instead of chicken, rice, and asparagus, it doesn't bother me a bit.

Honestly, I wouldn't make it a fight, especially if he is generally healthy and not having trouble maintaining/gaining weight and if he eats well earlier in the day. The bedtime thing is annoying, but maybe if you take away the dinner time struggle by allowing him to choose a healthy non-cooked (no work for you) alternative if he asks for it, the bed time ploy (if that's what it is) will end. 

Just to clarify, I wouldn't straight up ask him what he wants for dinner. I'd serve him what you're making first and then go from there.

Good luck!

ETA: My best friend's DD ate almost nothing except packets of oatmeal for dinner for 6 months or around the age of 3. Like everything else that feels like a big deal in the moment, she eventually got past that phase.

MrsCodeMonkey

fredalina said:

NOBODY?????

Jack and the Beanstalk? I'm lost.

RondackHiker

fredalina said:

NOBODY?????

It took me a minute!

Eleventy11

DD gets crackers with her milk if she's still hungry at bedtime. I figure if she's hungry enough, she will eat saltines. I also always offer a fruit at the end of every meal.

TiffanyBerry

elmoali said:

See that's the thing.   He will often eat what was for dinner at that point but I'm annoyed that he's waiting until 8:00 on the dot to all of a sudden decide he's ready to eat.  It's like at that point he finally realizes shit got real and no better food is forthcoming so THEN he'll eat lol

So his body's rhythm's aren't in sync with your meal times.  I'd work on trying to (slowly) adjust them.  But know it may be difficult for him for a while.  He really might not be hungry (much) at dinner time!

SoDoMojo

fredalina said:

Ok, fine, when they wear their wolf suit and make mischief of one kind or another.

Where the Wild Things Are. Duh! 

SoDoMojo

So he was sent to bed without eating anything.

NotSharknado

Also, figure in what they are eating through out the day. If DD has a big breakfast and lunch, she will more than likely not eat dinner. Once I noticed this I started giving lighter lunches(more snacky) and that usually works.

RondackHiker

fredalina said:

I answered the title question directly. I only know of 2 stories where the child gets sent to bed without any supper, and one is "Jack and the Beanstalk" and the other is "Where the Wild Things Are." Apparently my humor is obscure.

I read it originally as a response to the previous posts and was really confused. When I opened the post later I noticed it answered the title directly and then I laughed.

ASmallWonder

I don't buy at all that he's not hungry at dinner because we eat late - like 7 or a little after.  He refuses to eat, begs for snacks and then at 8:05 he's "starving."  He gets an afternoon snack at daycare but that's well before I even pick him up at 5:30 so I can't imagine that small snack is ruining his appetite at 7.  He's a skinny little thing so I hate the idea of him not eating but I really think it's a behavior thing and not actually about the food/hunger at all, kwim?

When he woke up this morning he said "Tonight I'm going to eat allll my dinner because no snacks!  What are we having?"  I told him pork and he said "Yum!  I like pork!" lol  So maybe the plain bread did the trick last night.  We'll see