Trying again or not....(warning-children mentioned)

cs1007

It has been 2 weeks since my MC @ 11weeks.... I feel okay most of the time, but I feel like there is a void. I am not sure if that will ever go away,... I am blessed to have 2 beautiful boys, so I think to myself : should I just be thankful for those blessings? Will I always feel a void even if I do have another baby? DH does not want another one, he does not want to take the chance of going through this emotional roller coaster again....I feel that way sometimes too,... But I also feel he would be willing to try if I really want to, I just don't know what I want. I am also nervous about this happening again, as I am over 35 and all of the risks that go up once you reach this 'advanced maternal age'. It is just so scary, and such a risk:(

aschultz9

I totally relate. I am 38 and have 3 kids. I was crazy scared to try again..but i did and I miscarried again. So twice since september. I have decided I will not try anymore. I cannot handle the pain of another loss and having 2 mc has me thinking there are chromosome issues due to my age. I have decided I dont want to take those risks. My 3 kids are healthy and perfect and I am sad but it isn't part of the plan for me I guess.
Give yourself time to come to terms with what is best for you. I am sorry for your loss.

cole1265

I'm in the same boat, 1 son. 2 m/c. Plus if I get past the first tri I'll have a whole bunch of other problems. I'm ready to just be thankful for my son. DH agrees. Do what you feel is right... Gl

aezimmerman

While I am not in a similar situation, I did find that even after two weeks from my m/c that I just wasn't ready to made the decision about trying again. I needed more time. Perhaps it is too soon to make this decision or perhaps you should have a serious conversation with your physician.

heatherfaith

I pm you

redheadscu1

I am sorry for your losses. I have 1 son who is almost 2 years old. This was my first MC. We are going to try again, because I really want my son to have a sibling and I really would like to have another baby. My mom had an easy first pregnancy which resulted in my sister. Then she MC her second pregnancy. On her 3rd, she had me. Even though it doesnt make much sense, I really feel her success after her loss is an encouraging reason to try atleast one more time. But if we do conceive again and it results in another loss, I honestly don't know. But I agree that only 2 weeks past MC is probably not giving yourself enough time to make this decision. I also agree that there will always be a void whether you have another child or not, because unfortunately nothing can replace the ones you lost. I still carry my us photo (the last healthy one) in my purse. My DH doesnt know that. Our MC was 2 months ago.

HokieLaw

I get it.  I have twins that are two and I have since had two miscarriages.  We go back and forth daily on whether we want to try again.  Only you can decide what to do.

kj808

I understand. I just had my 4th miscarriage (3rd in a year) and I have 2 healthy children. I do feel incredibly blessed to have my son and my daughter, but I still don't feel like my family is complete and I can't shake that feeling. We have been trying for 16 months now to have a third and it hasn't happened for us yet. In my situation though, my husband feels the same way I do about wanting to have another so we will keep trying. I'm starting cytotec tonight and I want to try again as soon as possible.

It's such a difficult and personal decision to make. Good luck and best wishes with whatever you decide.

eburgmama

I am in the same boat. I have a 6 year old daughter and a 3 year old son and this miscarriage was my last chance to have the baby be only 4 grades younger than my son (since this baby would have had an Aug birthday). If we ttc again they will be 4.5 years but 5 grades apart and my daughter will be 7 years older! I just don't know if I want kids spaced so far apart. Plus I really don't know if I can deal with a PGAL I have severe anxiety and I know I will be a mess the whole time.