Success after IF

Someone broke into my house

I was at home with DS2 and DD. I saw a man come up on my back deck. I wasn't expecting anyone or any deliveries. As soon as I saw him I hopped up to grab a phone. As I did that he opened the storm door and then the back door and started to come into my kitchen. I was nursing DD and she was still attached to me on the MBF and DS was w/o pants because we are potty training. I ran toward the door to try to shut it to stop him from coming in and I shouted, "What the fuck do you think you are doing?!" He stopped, sort of spun around with a look like oops! and started to leave the deck. I locked the door and called 911 immediately. I was able to give them a description and the direction he was headed away from my house. This dumbass was wearing a football jersey. Maybe don't try to break into people's houses when you are wearing such obvious clothing? Within a couple of minutes I saw 2 police cars drive by my house, but no one ever showed up to take my statement. I called the non emergency number before I left to go p/u DS1 from school and I was told that they had taken someone into custody.

I'm a little frustrated with how the police are handling it. The message I received from the cop was that he had broken into someone else's house a half hour before mine. But 'this gentleman' was 'really out of it,' 'just a transient' and this was an 'isolated incident.' He's trying to get home, but he doesn't know where he lives. Um, WTF? if he broke into 2 houses how is that isolated? I don't buy this guy's story for a minute. Then after I called the cop back again because I wanted to file a police report, and frankly, expected them to come and dust for his prints on my 2 doors, I find out that he was also arrested on Saturday for disorderly conduct. But I really feel like the cop did not want to make a report, he made it sound like the guy was just trying to get in, but didn't actually get in. And that I should keep my door locked.

I'm so frustrated! We looked up his arrest reports online., He was arrested on Saturday, Sunday, and today. One of those days was for harrassment and drug possesion. He was wearing a very clean looking football jersey today, he did not look like a transient. And he was wearing a different outfit in one of his other mug shots. Again, I'm not buying this 'I'm trying to find my home, I don't know where my home is' story. But the cop is making this seem very benign. I have no idea how ,long he would stay in jail for this.

DH is going to be going out of town for work soon.

This could have ended very badly.

This isn't' the first time I've had an incident like this at this new house. I'm so sad. My dream house is a target for this sort of thing. :(

I have no idea how much of this I should disclose to DS1. I have been trying to stress that he needs to look through the window before he opens the front door, even if we are expecting someone, based on what happened last year.

Plus DD had her 6 mo shots today, so she's cranky and I need to nurse her constantly and can't put her down. While I was on the phone with 911 and DH in the front of the house, DS2 took a bottle of glue and smeared it all over the kitchen floor near the back door. Perhaps trying to set his own sticky trap in case the guy came back? More likely he'd been looking for an opportunity when I was distracted to get into it! So it was fun to clean that up on top of everything else. 


I do know some mistakes I made as a SAHM that I'd like to share with you: I don't bring back the recycling and garbage bins after they get picked up NOR do I bring in the mail after it gets delivered. My excuse is I am usually bringing 2-3 people into the house and I don't have hands for that on top of all the other stuff I'm hauling. I let it be DH's job when he gets home from work. But I can see that I obviously look like no one is home yet. DH read online that the peak hours for break-ins to happen is between 12-4 pm. He broke in at 1:15. Also, even though my cat is in and out all day, I need to lock the back door behind him every time. I also will be pulling the chain on the front door to curtail DS2 flinging open the front door whenever he hears the doorbell ring, even though I'm chasing behind him shouting DO NOT OPEN the door!!

Thanks for letting me vent.
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Re: Someone broke into my house

  • Holy. Sh*t. How scary! I am glad you and LOs are ok!
    And yeah, that cop sucks. I would call and speak to someone else tomorrow and make sure they take your statement.
    Seriously, holy sh*t. I cannot even imagine.
    Me: 30, Dx Unexplained/hypothalamic amenorrhea
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  • oMG, that is so freaking scary!  I would have totally freaked out.  I can't imagine this happening to me, let alone with several kids in the house with me.  If you are getting nowhere with the local police, can you contact your local state representative, or better yet, your local news station or local news paper?  
    TTC since 10/2008  RE consult 6/2010 Dx:Unexplaied IF

    Failed multiple cycles of Clomid+TI and Clomid+IUI

    3/2011 inj+IUI #1 BFP. 4/2011 missed m/c. 

    Fall 2011 inj+IUI #2&3 BFN

    Jan/Feb 2012 IVF#1 BFP 2/23  EDD 10/31/2012 ~~~ Halloween ~~~

    Our IVF miracle, Baby Boy M, arrived on 11/8/2012!
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  • First if all glad everyone is safe. Cops will never come dust for prints unless there is a serious crime committed because the have to call out their crime scene team and its very expensive, most towns don't have their own.
    Also police have certain regulars that circulate through their jails and typically they know whether they are a serious harm or not and have a mental illness. If you are unhappy with the response call the captain. However this is dicey because if you ever need help and you "told" on this officer he might not be inclined to run to you.

    Also I think considering past issues etc you need an alarm that you turn on.
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
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    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

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  • How scary!! Thank god you guys are all ok!!


    Trying for #1 since May 2010   l   DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011

    IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks

    November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!

    Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26

    1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12 :)   **TEAM GREEN!**

    Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12

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    FET #1 - October '13 - c/p   l   FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled :(   l   FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN

    ~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~

    Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14 :)    **TEAM GREEN!**

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  • I'm so sorry. I would be flipping out. It's not your fault at all that the guy broke in. I would also be upset that they aren't taking it more seriously. Can cops keep you from filing a report? Such a weird situation. Thank goodness you and your LOs are ok. So so sorry you're having to deal with this!
    MF (low motility) - Began stims for IVF#1 7/21/12
    ER 8/2/12 - 14 eggs retrieved, 12 mature and ICSI'd, 6 fertilized. ET 8/7 - 2 embies. Beta#1 8/17: 143! Beta#2 8/20: 590! Beta#3 8/22: 1,162! 1st US 9/4: one beautiful little bean with the best sounding HB I've ever heard!
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  • So scary, you reacted so quickly, good for,you and I'm so glad you are all ok.
    Me 37 DH 40 TTC since 1/11 DOR AMH .34 DH S/A Great BFP 12/11! MC 1/12 IUI #1 2/12 BFN. IUI #2 3/12 BFN. IUI #3 4/12 BFN IVF #1 5/12 BFP! DD 2/13/12
  • I second getting an alarm. How awful!

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    IVF #1 September 2012, beta #1: 213; beta #2: 580. Expecting Twins! 
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  • How incredibly scary! I am glad everyone is safe.
    ~TTC since July 2010~
    CD3 Bloodwork:Normal 
    SA:Low Morph 
    IVF with ICSI #1: ER 12/16 (4 ER/3 Mature/0 Fertilized) 
    IVF with ICSI #2: ER 5/17 (4 ER/4 Mature/3 Fertilized)/ET 5/20 (2 embryos transferred)-BFN 
    IVF with PICSI #3: ER 9/8 (11 ER/8 Mature/7 Fertilized)/ET 9/13 (2 AA blastocysts transferred) 
    Beta#1, 9/26/12: 719 Beta#2, 9/28/12: 1,436 Beta#3, 10/1/12: 3,446
    1st u/s on 10/10/12: It's Twins! We found out on 12/16/12 that we were having two BOYS!
    C & D were born on 5/16/13 at 10:46 am and 10:47 am

  • I'm so glad you all are okay. That is totally freaky. Im so pissed that the police are being so casual. That is unbelievable.
    TTC Since 3/2010
    Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
    Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
    Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
    IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
    ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
    ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
    Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
    Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!! 
    Baby girl J arrived two weeks early! Born into water, med-free. Hooray for Team Pink!

    TTC #2 - back to the RE, treatment started 12/2014. 

  • Oh my gosh, how scary! I'm so glad you are ok. I agree with pp, is an alarm an option?
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • Omg, that is so scary. I'm glad you guys are all okay.
    IVF, acupuncture, meditation and a miracle. 


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  • So sorry, yikes! That's a lot to deal with! That cop sucks!

    Maybe getting an alarm system? My aunt had an issue similar to yours and my cousin was 3 and opening the doors to everyone. One day a saleman came to the door and she opened the door, the salesman took mh aunts wallet off of the ffoyer table right by the door (she had $4000 cash for a wedding deposit.) Long story short, she got the alarm that lets you know what doors are opening, she also pays the garbage man $20/wk to put her garbage bins by her garage.

    Glad that everyone is okay, hope it doesn't happen again.
    TTC Since 112010 Naturally. Diagnose:PCOS(ME) + Low Motility(HIM). Started IVF+ICSI Cycle 12312. ER 27 & ET 210 two embies transferred. *BFN 1ST IVF CYCLE.* **Getting as healthy as possible and will try IVFICSI#2 again hopefully in April.** -- HAVE FAITH; LET GO & LET GOD --
  • Thanks, ladies. I don't know how I'm feeling about this right now. :S
    Married 9-4-04

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  • Oh my gosh!!!! I am so glad that you and your family are okay... but holy crap, so scary!!!!
    Diagonsed PCOS TTC since May 2009
    First M/C December 2010 Second M/C August 2011
    Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
    Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
    Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
    Dec 27- third miscarriage
    May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
    Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
    May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
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  • So scary!!! I am so glad that you are ok!! Sucks that it isn't being handled in a way to help you feel more at ease. 
    TTC since August 2009
    Clomid for 6 cycles starting August 2010- O but no BFP
    SA Septemeber 2010 Looking good 
    HSG September 2010 All clear 
    1st RE visit May 2011 - IUI#1 June 20, 2011: BFN
    IUI #2 July 31 2011: BFP - m/c @ 5w1d
    Surprise BFP on a break cycle 10/4/11, Due June 4, 2012, Born 6/9/2012
    TTC Blog
    TTC#2 : Cycles 1-3 Protocol 1500mg Metformin Daily, Femara + Ovidrel, Progresterone support 
    HSG#2 November 2013 All clear
    Cycle 4 Metformin, Femara, Bravelle, Ovidrel, Progesterone = BFP
    Little Lady Born 8/28/2014

    "There is a design, an alignment, a cry of my heart to see, 
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  • Woah!  That is SO scary.  I would be beyond pissed about how the cops are handling it too if I were you.  We live in a really nice neighborhood as well and the neighbors across the street from us got broken into last Fall.  A couple of weeks later our house was cased.  I said eff this crap and we got ADT and installed cameras around the outside of our house.  When DS3 was just over a week old my husband was warming up our van in our garage(with the garage door open) because it was below 0 and he was going to take the older two somewhere and one of our neighbors saw a guy hiding in our bushes watching our van.  I was so confused when I saw a cop running through our backyard!  They didn't ever catch him.  Who tries to steal a van?  Ridiculous.  And it makes me so mad ... and creeped out.  

    I'm so glad you guys are all okay and nothing bad happened.  That is scary!  
    *My Loves, My Life, My Littles*

    02/18/11, 05/24/12 and 12/03/13

  • I don't think DH is too keen on the idea of an alam system. I guess they had them i two houses when he was a kid and there were many kid induced false alarms. But I think we will look into security cameras.

    Married 9-4-04

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  • I am so sorry. I'm so glad you are all okay. A home intruder is my biggest fear. I hope the cops can get him off the street. We had outside security cameras at our last house and really liked them. If you have a Costco, they have great kits.
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility

    TTC #1 
    IUI's #1 - #3 Clomid = BFN's, IUI #4 Follistim = BFP
    Grayson arrived via emergency c-section on 7/28/12!

    TTC #2 
    IUI's #1 - #4 Follistim = BFN's
    IVF #1 w/ ICSI + PGS: Lupron/Follistim/Menopur
    ER 4/13 - 19R, 13F, 4 PGS tested embryos, 1 normal
    5/14 FET: BFP. Beta #1: 123, Beta #2: 327, Beta #3: 854
    Cora arrived 1/23/15 via RCS!
  • My heart is racing so hard just reading this. I'm so sorry!
    DH and I are Americans living an adventure in Kenya since 2011
    DX: PCOS (annovulatory)
    Feb 2012: IUI #1 w/ only 1M sperm and a single follie = BFP! 
    Nov 2012: Little buddy born in Kenya
    Nov 2013: Trying for a second, still w PCOS
    Dec 2013: IUI cycle canceled for non-response
    Jan 2014: Break cycle BFP!

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  • That is terrifying. I'm glad your kids are ok but that's so traumatizing for you. And I'm sorry the police aren't being more satisfying. I sort of agree with going to an ombudsmen or news station. But I also think that one of the pp comments about then the police not being keen to help your house in future might apply. Gosh that's tough. I'm so sorry.
  • queenbone said:

    I don't think DH is too keen on the idea of an alam system. I guess they had them i two houses when he was a kid and there were many kid induced false alarms. But I think we will look into security cameras.

    Sorry, but I think YH is wrong on this one. I would take 20 kid induced false alarms to prevent one home intruder with a gun. We are talking about potentially saving you and your children's lives. Worth a little inconvenience.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • Holy shit that is scary! I'm so glad everyone is ok. Definately go for an alarm - false alarms are better than no alarms.
    TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
    Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
    DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
    IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
    IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
    1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
    Prayers for our take home babies!
    2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
    My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
    Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
    IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
    Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
    Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
    A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
    Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
    IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
    transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
    Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
    Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
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  • I'm so glad everyone is ok. That is beyond scary. It sounds like the police are being WAY too lax about this entire situation. I would definitely call the station to get in touch with the Officer in Charge and insist on filing a report.

    I have to agree with TJ on installing the alarm. Yes, false alarms are part of owning one, but I think your DH needs to look at the big picture here - the safety and security of your family.

    DX: DOR and MFI 


    IVF w/ICSI brought us our 1st precious miracle

    V born via induction 4.29.11

    TTC #2: IVF (MDLF) August/September 2012

    ER 9/7: 6R, 5M, 4F ET 9/12: 5dt of 2 blasts 

    +HPT 9/17! Beta #1 (9/25) = 1,000 Beta #2 (9/27) = 1,860 U/S #1 (10/11)...TWINS!

    1/8/13 - It's a..boy and a girl!!   


    S&B born via induction 5.8.13






  • Huge hugs - I am sorry you are dealing with this. I'm also in the boat of the alarm though.... False alarms can be a pain, but I feel like it's something you could work through and get everything working flawlessly. I would definitely look into it.

    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."
    TTC #1 since August 2011 MFI Diagnosis - April 2012
    IVF #1 - July 2012 - Stims start 7/2, ER 7/12, 20 retrieved, 16 mature, 13 fertilized!
    ET - 7/17 - 1 blast transferred. Beta - 7/26 273, Beta 2 7/30 - 1143. Beta 3 8/6 - 11,597
    12/25 - Santa tells us "IT'S A GIRL!" EDD - April 4th

    Our Little Easter Bunny has arrived!

    Molly Mildred born 03/31/13

    TTC A Sibling....... FET #1 11/14/14, Transferred one beautiful blast

    Remaining four frosties arrested due to "embryologist error"

    Plllllleasssee stick little icicle.....Beta 11/23...BFN

    Starting ALL over with a fresh IVF cycle

    Stims start 11/28/14, ER December 10th, 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, only 4 fertilized 

    1 Blast Transferred on December 15th..... Beta Christmas Eve... Please Santa, bring me a baby!

    Beta #1 345.....Beta #2....750/ First U/S 1/13/15/HB 131....EDD 9/2/2015

  • That is so scary!!!! And shame on the police. I'm sorry having the two kids at home with you would freak me out even more because there is only so much you can do with your hands full! I feel like lately the cops just brush off stuff like this which is sooooooooooo not okay. I would definitely get a secuirty system in case. But that is just me. I have a dog I let out constantly but wiht DH traveling all the time lately it has given me some peace of mind. I have the app on my phone so I just alarm and disalarm while im sitting there or in bed etc. I defintely feel your house and incidents is the last thing you want to think about. Since we had the whole neighborhood breakins of sheds ands cars last week when we had the security system installed while DH was gone, 5 doors down there was a peeping tom. My husband was like what is going on in this neighborhood. We are only a mile from our old house WTF? But I guess it happens everywhere we just don't want it to happen to us. I hope it never happens again for you!

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

  • Holy cow that is so scary. Good for you mama bear for being brave.
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  • Dragonfly1226Dragonfly1226 member
    edited January 2014
    OMG! That is so scary! I am so sorry that the police are letting you down. I agree about getting an alarm. I would rather have my kids set off a false alarm a million times and have it there of the real thing than not have it when I needed it. I am so glad that you are all safe.
    Unexplained Infertility

    After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!

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